"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Thursday, May 01, 2008


Just thinking . . . and observing today.


As I took my grandson to school today, I saw a bumper sticker that I had never seen before:

"I was dead once I didn't like it." Now what do you suppose that meant? He really wasn't dead before literally, did he mean like I was talking the other day, that his soul was asleep and had woken up - and that he didn't like that feeling? Or am I missing something?

At my grandsons school, in the playground, we saw two ducks today just waddling around. Cute. Kind of made me feel good. Life. The sun is shining and it's going to get up to 80 today. I have walked him into the classroom now for almost two years and now. The last couple of months I've asked him if he wanted to walk in by himself or with me. I always want to walk him in, but he has to learn to do it alone - when he's ready. This is the first week he's picked every day to walk in alone. It tugs at my heart, but I know it's best for him to grow and be independent. He walks him so big and proud.

Yesterday when I walked into his room in the morning I snuggled with him and he said I love you grandma, you're the best. That went in my gratitude journal! My son told me the other day that he and his wife were not going to have children. I didn't say much (hard as that was), but I am sad for him and and his wife. Yes, kids are hard work I admit, but it is far more joy. Joy that he will miss. It's hard when you don't have children or if you lose a child. It makes you different.

My daughter and her guy are getting closer, I see it coming as well - I believe things will be changing here again for me. If things go on like they have been, probably within a year they will be married and moved out. Just have a feeling. Thank goodness I LOVE this guy. He just bought a house. He was looking about 45 minutes away. I was kind of worried because it's near where my grandson's 'father' lives. That would mean more visitation, much harder to visit and babysit, change of schools for him - a lot of changes for both of us.

You have to know he and my daughter have been here since he was two weeks old due to an abuse incident. So while he's not mine, I feel like he's part mine! I have been with him daily as my daughter works. I did everything with him. Long story - but we did a lot. That's why he's so dear to me, plus he is more like me than anyone else (Lol). So my daughter's boyfriend started looking out here and bought a house ten minutes from us, five minutes from my grandson's current school! I never said anything to my daughter's friend. This was a plan old miracle and gift. I feel so so so so so so much better now. It will be much easier to let them go (like I had a choice anyway). Funny thing is if they break up - he'll still be out this way.

"Friends are not only together when they are side-by-side, even one who is far away... is still in our thoughts." ~ Ludwig Van Beethoven So I will always be close to my grandson. Even if I had others, it'd still be different, I'd have to be careful!

Heard on the radio today the 5 most congested cities are 5)Houston 4) San Francisco 3)Los Angeles, 2) Atlanta, and 5) Washington DC. We are congested here (for those having to drive to work - mo rapid transit city and the buses run in the city with their own system, and then we have a few buses around here, that run there own system - they don't really hook up). I know that although it doesn't bother me because I don't go to work and when I make plans I make them around the traffic. My husband drives though and it's rough. I'm a native Chicago gal and it's hard to believe we have more traffic then they do or New York!
Well, that's what's going on today.

Chatty Thinking.

4 comments:

Changes in the wind said...

Chatty, you are special lady for sure. I too helped with my Grandson from birth to four years old, when my daughter married they moved to another state due to him being in the military...was the worst thing I have ever had to deal with other than death of loved ones but in the end it all worked out and now they are here.
You are wise to encourage your grandson to become independent..he will appreciate later in his life.
Wishing you the best...........

thailandchani said...

That bumper sticker is sponsored by a church. It's kind of like those "God quotes" billboard. Should have said it like this "I was dead once and didn't like it. -Jesus".

Just a guess :)

Chatty Crone said...

Oops. That does make sense. Thanks.

Wendy said...

Ahhhh grandmas. How did we get here? I can't really tell you. Time has crept up on us all. Seems like the other day, I was the one walking my little ones to school. Now it's their turn.

It is so hard sometimes to keep one's mouth shut when hearing the ideas and plans of our grown children. Good thing you did - and see? Things do turn around for the better.
Bless you and your family.