Chapter 1 - Part 2
(The story started on Monday June 16th and will continue every Monday this summer.)
The story of Annie and Jessie continues . . .
In the first decade after the incident, bearing those raw scars on her back had been a constant reminder to her of the deep sorrow that she would not let herself forget. She wanted those scars there to remind her of the tragedy, peril, and pain she had endured, and by her own hand no less! She wanted the scarlet scars left untouched to force herself to remember all the ugliness that had been in her life.
Annie wanted to punish herself for failing to save the life of a tiny little human being that had been entrusted to her as well as for betraying Jesse, the one true love of her life. As if in atonement, she transported her scars on her back as an ever-present reminder of the part she played in her own loss. They were a weight on Annie’s mind, a cross for her heart to bear, and a sure way to keep her sins close to the surface of awareness. They served to ensure that she would never forget what she had done, nor would she forgive herself. Let’s not overlook that keeping those scars also happened to be a way to keep her anger fueled toward her father as well. No, she didn’t want to forget and she wouldn’t want to forgive her father either.
During the second decade after that horrific accident, it was different. Those slowly-fading scars had become somewhat burdensome now. And yet, the scars themselves served to trigger in Annie a desire to get in touch with herself and to begin facing her demons. No matter how hard Annie tried to pretend the scars weren’t there, she couldn’t push them out of her mind.
The feelings of anguish and betrayal Annie had been suffering all those years, were now forcing her to start taking a more realistic view of herself and her life. Unable to keep the pain down, Annie decided to seek professional help, trying to better herself. She succeeded to some extent, but she wasn’t quite where she needed to be to take her leap to wholeness. Close though.
Chatty - stay turned into next Monday :)
"It may be those who do most, dream most." ~ Stephen Leacock ~