(The story started on Monday June 16th and will continue every Monday this summer.)
The story of Annie and Jessie continues . . .
Sometimes, it seems, one has to be mentally, physically and spiritually ready—simultaneously—for transformation to take place. Although she tried to make her mind healthier, she continued to look down on herself. She did not honestly feel she deserved happiness and real love and with that as her core belief, she wasn’t going to get it—not right then. Shifting gears to the belief that she did deserve a better existence was not yet a reality for her. Oh, she went on with her life and eventually even remarried, but at what price?
In the second decade since the accident, Annie thought she had made a decision to live from the inside out, rather than to die—to wither away—and she had. But she had already gotten perilously close to permanently living her life among the living, while being dead to life itself—to being in the land of the living dead. However, somewhere in her heart, a little hope still burned for something better, and that would come to be Annie’s saving grace. It was a tenuous time. So long as she had just a smidgen of desire to do better and to live, really live, then she knew hope.
In the third decade of carrying those now nearly-faded scars, Annie had almost forgotten they could even be seen on her back. Others might have seen them, but Annie herself had chosen to ignore them as much as she possibly could.
She’d returned to therapy by then, seriously and actively this time, and was willing to be totally open and honest with herself about herself. Slowly dealing with these issues, a metamorphosis of sorts was happening within Annie. One at a time, she obliterated the mental scars that had afflicted her since that horrific accident. She was like a boxer punching one out, then another and another; wanting desperately to free herself and become her own person. Taking responsibility for her part in the tragedy and then forgiving herself had not come easy however. Then there was the fact that she was not the only one responsible for what had happened. Hard as it was, she had to forgive the others too.
Stay tuned in for more of Chapter 1 next Monday . . .