For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, July 22, 2008




I like to go to the movies. I love to read books. I don’t watch a lot of television, but I’ll tell you a secret, I really like Big Brother. It’s so darn silly yet I love it. I enjoy seeing the dynamics of other people and what makes them tick. It’s surprising to me how some people can act on television in front of millions of other people. Watching human nature unfold. What they say and do amazes me. And man, how fast they can turn on one another!

Got a little sidetracked, but going back to movies - I went to see Mamma Mia Sunday. GO SEE MAMMA MIA! I thought it was absolutely fabulous! I wish I could see it again - today! Yes, I know it's fiction, just a fantasy. I don't care. I like made up happy stories. Sometimes it's just what you need in your life to help lift your spirits.

I know the other women in the theater liked it too because there was actual applause during a couple of the scenes. Now there were some men there – I'll call them real men – men that I'm assuming can open up themselves up to something different. They can do something different with their lover (?) and not care what others think. Maybe they are even there because they like the 'performing arts'. They can deal with chick flicks if their chick can take a turn and go to a man's movie with them. No, I doubt if they clapped too, but they were there none the less. A+ for effort.

So what is my definition of a real man?

A real man is of course male, but a male that's so grounded in his maleness, he can appreciate the wonders of a woman and not be threatened by them, even if he can’t understand them. A man so grounded in himself he can do feminine things and still know he's a man, no matter what others think. He can remain who he is, at the same time appreciating the woman for who she is. Neither one has to change who they are for the other one - they are in 'addition' to the other one - they 'add' to each other. He's not scared by the female gender. He does not feel threatened by women. He can remain true to himself, yet he can hear and accept the feminine psyche and actually enjoy it. He spends times with the guys, but when he's with her, he's with her. He makes time and keeps his promises even if he has to deny himself a little bit. Not all men can deny they own needs at times, because hello, it's painful. (Women seem to do that a lot more and tend to get miffed because it is so painful. Women more often have to learn to deny others, say no, and put their needs first. A common conflict - one I know of.) Basically they are 'there' when they are there and their mind is not somewhere else. Okay maybe this is more a dream man than a real man (teehee).

Of course this goes both way. Women can't be weepy, flighty, sappy, dependent, and clingy. Yet they have to be themselves at the same time. Can't depend entirely on a guy, but can't have a guy use them. They have to be smart and savvy. They have to be able to spend time alone, and when they are with their guy, they are with him - totally. No fear. A real woman stays feminine, appreciates the virtues if men, and is strong and secure in herself. I think they both have passion for life.

The well rounded person has room for both parts - both the feminine and the masculine - in their psyche - if they chose to open themselves up to life and all it offers. That's according to Chatty's dictionary anyway. You know the truly ironic thing is men think to be real men they have to be strong and women think themselves as weak, when the truth is actually the reverse. We women would like to see a little softness and acceptance in our men and they would probably like to see a little more self reliance and power in us. Young men don't want to get married anymore because they are tired of being the bread winner, and I think women are tired of being the homemakers. We need to do and accept some role reversals.

Okay I'm thinking about what my example of a real woman would be - ever see 'Menopause the Musical'? Being able to look at your shortcomings, your problems, what life deals you, to be able to laugh at yourself, and move on - accepting all the short comings as short and not earth shattering. That's a real woman.

Again back to the movie - see how my mind wonders and thinks? Anyway Mamma Mia had a story to tell and a cute one at that. It also had singing by major stars - movie stars can do anything can't they? Now Pierce Brosnan, he’s a real man. You’d have to be a real man with a real sense of humor to act and sing in this show and I think the women had to be real women, secure in themselves to act and sing in this movie. They had to let go of what their image was, let go of the norm, rise to the challenge of learning to sing, and then do it! And do it well they did. Who the heck cares what others think anyway?

I think Pierce Brosnan was even a real man when he played James Bond (Lol). His first love died (for real) and it took him years to find love again. He was approached for this part, as soon as he heard Meryl Streep was in the movie he said YES – part unseen because he wanted to work with her! It was a privilege to work with her. All he had to do was to learn to sing.
I can ever tell you the name of a country music group - called Lonestar - that are real men. A lot of their songs relate to women's issues, to her power, to her struggles, and to her soul. Check them out, I'll put some out on the Blog sometime, but this week is for Mamma Mia songs. And yes, Lonestar is a band of men, who I believe are men in touch with their manness. Mountains and Mr. Mom were a couple songs that come to mind.

Now I know it was a silly movie and that it wasn’t real, but it was a wonderful two hour diversion from life - a two hour mini vacation - you could leave your thoughts and worries at the door -laugh and be carried away into fantasy land. Reality always comes back. It was just such a sweet story. Meryl Streep played an extremely strong yet vulnerable women. Who was together, yet not together. She had deep, close friends, a lovely daughter, her own business, but she still felt alone at times.

Can we be Dancing Queens girls - even for a little while - even if it's just for two hours? I mean I don't really know if real men and real women even exist to be quite honest with you, it's fun to think and dream about though isn't it? You know what I mean - the secrets we women have. . .

I bet these stars had a BLAST making this movie. I mean how could they not? This movie was full of passion. I mean full of wonderful awesome raw passion.

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. -Ovid

Just Chatty Thinkin - See the song 'Dancing Queen' below.

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