For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, March 13, 2009

Alarm Clock Problems, AAADD


AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:the car isn't washed the bills aren't paid there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter the flowers don't have enough water,there is still only 1 check in my check book.
I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and, I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
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ALARM CLOCK PROBLEMS - THIS IS GREAT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyTBF5fpYZU&feature=email

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"A merry heart doeth good..." Proverbs 17:22
Johnny learned the story of creation in Bible class, and how God made Eve from Adam's rib. That afternoon, while playing outside, Johnny got a terrible side ache and went in to lie down. After he'd rested, his mother asked if he was feeling better. "No," said Johnny, "I think I'm getting a wife."

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Older Women Are So Reasonable

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, 'HONEY, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP
EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.'

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING
A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISES
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AND REMEMBER THIS:
If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,



...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

Have fun today - enjoy it - seize it.
Chatty

4 comments:

^..^Corgidogmama said...

What an awesome collection of laughs for your Friday funnies!
Love the husband/wife of 44 years...she only wanted to help, right?
By the end of the week, it's so nice to come here, and know, that a snicker or two will be waiting!
Thanks for my aerobic exercise today...laughing!!!

Chatty Crone said...

I am soooooooooooo glad you like Fridays. Maybe I ought to do funnies everyday . . .
I have fun doing them too.

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

I like yer funnies...

Had a good laugh...but the one about being the family dog -- that sort of hit home...I could certainly learn quite a bit from my dogs!!!

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Oh Chatty, forgot to tell you...I use several programs to create the graphics -- it's easy, something you might enjoy doing -- I use Paint Shop Pro v.8.1 mainly, and there are lots of websites with "tutorials" to help beginners along...