"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Unhappening Wedding Day :(



This was to be my daughter's wedding day up to six short weeks ago. In those six weeks we've been to hell and back. The devastation and pain has been significant. I've had to watch her suffer, my grandson, my husband, and myself not only because of Ryan's decision, but because I had to take care of others pain and their anger at the situation. I have to say that we are making progress. My daughter while still hurt of course, is moving towards anger! Which is progress and a stage of grief. Trouble is she needs to talk to him and he refuses. Coward.

Not only that, but due to my allergies, their puppy had to find a new home, it didn't work out, so we got him back last night and he is going to a new home this am. No take backs this time! Another stress times two!

My grandson was sick this last week - walking pneumonia and strep. Now my daughter is sick.

We had my husband's brother and his wife fly in last night for the wedding since they had bought their tickets already and will be here until Tuesday.

Hubby started a new job this past Monday and I've already gone to a 'seminar' with him - have to say it was very interesting - even though it was on marketing techniques. Wish I could come up with something to market . . .

My grandson is finished with 2nd grade and my daughter has three work days left next week and then our summer is official here. This has been one of the most excruciating times I can ever remember going through. it's been hard on everyone. I have done my best this week to keep positive. I am just so tired. I can't remember ever being so tired.

I plan on doing some sleeping and hopefully catching up on my rest! I feel like a zombie. I'm hoping I'm just exhausted from all this stress. So that catches you up to the grand finale of the wedding that didn't happen. I'm sure the pain is not all over, but things have to go up from here.
We do plan on bringing him (ex) to small claims court for half the money lost and after all is said and done - I would love to have a little talk with ole Ryan myself.

Some things that were going to be in the wedding-
I Loved Her First by Heartland - was to be her Father Daughter Dance song:


"No boy is worth crying over and the one who is won't make you cry." Sarah Kane age 10
Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
- Mary Tyler Moore

Why do you wear the wedding ring on the fourth finger - which I guess the groom didn't understand:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57MakDoK624&feature=email

The Wedding Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4_x24cVHr8&feature=email

I'm done now with weddings and pain for the time being. Personally I hope she doesn't date for awhile. I feel deeply hurt over all this too - it's not just the canceled wedding - there is so much more - this has affected everyone. I have to say how blessed I am with friends . . . .

While there is a time to mourn there is also a time to dance and for me it's time to dance. I'm going to pull myself out of this funk and go forward and dance.

Hope my daughter can do the same.

Chatty


3 comments:

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Wow...such a heartfelt post, and you expressed all the feelings, all the betrayal, all the stress felt so well. You've all been through a lot, and I didn't realize how it washed over the entire family as it did.
The entire household was turned up on end....but, you're coming through it. You've got your head on straight, let's hope your daughter follows your example. Ryan IS a huge coward, isn't he? Incredible how poorly he handled this entire ordeal. His parents should be ashamed for raising him the way they did, and for supporting his "nut-less" actions.
As Gomer would say..."shame, shame, shame!"
I hope that now that the date has passed, you'll all be able to pick up...and heal this summer.

ClassyChassy said...

AMEN to Corgidogmama's comments! I whole-heartedly agree! You're on your way to healing. Sometimes all it takes is a DATE - and the date needed to get past was for this weekend.

Granny Debbie said...

Wow that cake sure does spell it out what happen but still don't undersatnd about Ryanwhich no one will ever know what happened there.