Friday, October 23, 2009
This is the funniest video - please watch - it's not scary, but it is funny - a good way to start fun Friday.
A doctor in Duluth wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic.
I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'
'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Ole, how was your day?'
Ole told him that he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'
'Bravo, Mate, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.
Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: HELP ME - I haven't seen a man in over two years!!
'Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes.'
And you thought I was sending a dirty joke!!!! (Courtesy of Expressly Corgi).
Draw a pig and take a personality test - (Courtesy of Expressly Corgi).
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read.Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..
If you haven't, add 1758.
6.. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
Bath Time WIth Cosmos - The Corgi Dog - adorable!
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female....... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.
3.. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female . . . A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said, That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Randolph Frederick "Randy" Pausch (October 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008) was an American professor of computer science and human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pausch learned that he had a terminal case of pancreatic cancer in September 2006. He gave an upbeat lecture entitled "The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" on September 18, 2007 at Carnegie Mellon, which became a popular YouTube video and led to other media appearances. He then co-authored a book called The Last Lecture on the same theme, which became a New York Times best-seller. Pausch died of complications from pancreatic cancer on July 25, 2008. Wikipedia