Friday, February 19, 2010
Fun Friday - Take a laugh break . . .
HOW IS NORMA
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room.
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't' have to. You noticed I dropped my stethascope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick."
"Huh," the younger doctor said. "Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much work for the parish," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well, your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"
"Well, just like you did at the last house, I dropped my stethascope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed." (richard)
Happy Birthday Lee Marvin (Wikipedia).
Marvin studied violin when he was young. As a teenager, Marvin "spent weekends and spare time hunting deer, puma, wild turkey and bobwhite in the wilds of the then-uncharted Everglades." He attended St. Leo Preparatory College in St. Leo, Florida after being expelled from several schools for bad behavior.
Marvin left school to join the United States Marine Corps, serving as a Scout Sniper in the 4th Marine Division. He was wounded in action during the WWII Battle of Saipan, during which most of his platoon were killed. Marvin's wound (in the buttocks) was from machine gun fire, which severed his sciatic nerve. He was awarded the Purple Heart medal and was given a medical discharge with the rank of Private First Class. Contrary to rumors, Marvin did not serve with Bob Keeshan during World War II.