Friday, September 17, 2010
Fun Friday with a little help from my friends . . .
Now, finally a computer error message we can understand.
Judy got married to her first husband, Ted, and had 13 children. Then, he died of cancer.
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
"Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret,
"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . her legs"
1. What do you see? answer below.
2. What do you see? Answer below.
3. What do you see? Answer below.
4. What do you see? Answer below.
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING - thanks Sharon
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. (Thanks Sharon)
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amazanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!
Count every ' F ' in the following text: (Thanks Sharon)
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
5. HOW MANY ? Answer below.
1. Evil in good.
2. You in me.
3. Learn in teach.
4. Optical Illusion
5. WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.READ IT AGAIN !
The brain cannot process 'OF'.
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare..
“You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. ”
Ronald Reagan (1911-2004); 40th U.S. President
How do you eat your jelly beans?
Thoughts for the day - thanks Jean
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. (Victor Borge)
The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed. (Chamfort)
Laughter is inner jogging. (Norman Cousins)
Laughter can relieve tension, soothe the pain of disappointment, and strengthen the spirit for the formidable tasks that always lie ahead. (Dwight D. Eisenhower)
Laughter is the sun that drives winter fro the human face. (Victor Hugo)
A good laugh is sunshine in a house. (William Makepeace Thackeray)
The human race has one really effective weapon and that is laughter. (Mark Twain)
LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
Answers to Thursday Trivia. And Ms. Jo won!
1. Who directed the original Rear Window, remade in the 90s with Christopher Reeve?alfred Hitcock
2. Which blonde actress made her debut as a producer in Private Benjamin?Goldie Hawn
3. Which woman starred in and directed The Prince of Tides?Barbara Streisand
4. Which “man with no name” directed The Bridges of Madison County?Clint Eastwood
5. Who directed the first three Godfather films? Francis Ford Coppola