For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wednesday's Wonderful...Christmas songs



HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It will soon be Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, please, have some standards!

10. One final tip: Wear sweatpants/loose-fitting clothing. If you are leaving the party and you can walk without help from a construction forklift, "you haven't been paying attention, people!" Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!


(See - Santa takes my advice and everyone LOVES Santa!)

Love, Chatty


CHRISTMAS SONGS......ENJOY!
Fabulous 50sChristmas Songs

A Holly Jolly ChristmasBurl Ives
Away In A MangerLoretta Lynn
Christmas AlphabetThe McGuire Sisters
Christmas Country ChristmasThe Statler Brothers
Christmas In My HometownSonny James
Christmas SongAlvin & The Chipmunks
Christmas Times A ComingBill MonroeAnd The Bluegrass Boys
Christmas WaltzFrank Sinatra
Christmas Without YouKenny RogersDolly Parton
Frosty The SnowmanGene Autry
Grandma Got Run OverBy A ReindeerElmo & Patsy
Hard Rock Candy ChristmasDolly Parton
Hark The Herald Angels SingNat King Cole
Have Yourself A VeryMerry ChristmasRosemary Clooney
Home For The HolidaysPerry Como
Its Beginning To LookA Lot Like ChristmasBing Crosby &The Andrew Sisters
I Saw Mommy KissingSanta ClausJimmy Boyd
Its a Most WonderfulTime Of The YearJohnny Mathis
Jingle Bell RockBobby Helms
Jingle BellsRoy RogersMost Interesting Middle!
Jingle BellsPerry Como
Jingle BellsThe Jingle Bell Piggie
Joy To The WorldNat King Cole
Leroy, the Redneck ReindeerJoe Diffie
Let It SnowAndy Williams
Lets Put ChristBack Into ChristmasTammy Wynette
Little Drummer BoyNeil Diamond
O Christmas TreeNat King Cole
Please Come HomeThe Platters
Pretty PaperRoy Orbison
Rocking Around TheChristmas TreeBrenda Lee
Rudolph The RedNose ReindeerGene Autry
Rudolph The RedNose ReindeerUnknown Group
Santa BabyCynthia Basinet
Santa Claus IsComing To TownBing Crosby
Santa Claus IsWatching YouRay Stevens
Silver BellsBing Crosby/Peggy Lee
Silent NightDean Martin
Sleigh RideJohnny Mathis
The First NoelAndy Williams
Up On The HousetopGene Autry
White ChristmasBing Crosby
White ChristmasThe Drifters (1954)
Winter WonderlandBrenda Lee
ChristmasWith Elvis

24 comments:

Sandra said...

it will be easy for me to follow these rules becuase it is what i do anyway and why i don't look like the third snowman

varunner said...

Ha! Now I want to make rum balls. I've never made them before, but they can't be all that hard to make!

Sharon Kirby said...

OK, I'm an obedient girl at heart - so even though you classified these as "tips" - I'm calling them rules - and I'm obeying EVERY single one!!

WOO HOO! Let the bingeing begin...

And, for heaven's sake, will someone feed that skinny snowgirl? She's going to melt away...

xoxo!!

Ginny said...

What a LOT of work you've put into this post, I don't know how you do it! I love the eating tips and have printed them out to read on our church line!!

Doris Sturm said...

I love that advice! It all sounds delicious to me ;-)

Together We Save said...

Now wait a minute... I always serve a veggie tray, but it need it to go with my spinich dip!

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

That is my FAVORITE holiday writing so far!!! I'm heading for the rum ball house! LOL! WITH my sweat pants on!

Home In The Hollow said...

Sandie, I agree with all EXCEPT # 9! Did I really read that YOU expect ME to skip fruitcake??? Ha! Didn't I tell you, Kiddo, I bought one for myself! I told you it's my favorite!!!...:)JP

Linda @ A La Carte said...

So funny! Yep I love some food and at Christmas I let my self enjoy!

Debbie said...

I needed this tonight!! I roared all the way through it. I could literally hear my own voice giving every bit of this advice.

I'm giggling right now just thinking about some of them.

LOVE IT!!!

Susan said...

That was a hilarious post, Sandie. I loved the model snowgirl! You are so funny. Suswan

Just Be Real said...

Wow you have some serious songs here for Christmas! You know Sandie, I never did like eggnog. Thank you for sharing, blessings.

Angela said...

Hey Sandie!

I loved the eating tips! Those were great! Who buys and serves carrots at a Christmas party? Not me! And you know carrots cost more buying something good!

Merry Christmas!
Angela

Mevely317 said...

Earlier this year I gave up "denial" ... denying myself all those marvelous tastes that make my tummy sing. As a result, I'm sitting here LMAO at these guidelines!
I've been away for a while, but you dear Sandie ... you're like the Energizer Bunny, God bless ya!

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Hey now, THIS post took a while to type in didn't it? What fun it is to read all the quips and bits that you collect from here and there!
You're a crazy nut, you know that, right????? That's what we like about you!!

Terry said...

Howdy Sandie
Oh how I love you girlfriend !
You said it all it's later than we think so let's all enjoy the season :)
I have not thought of rum balls since I was a little girl .
My Aunt Billie Edith use to make them for the Adults only ,it's funny but none of us kids ever tried to sneak one ??
Wonder what we were thinking ??oh yeah duh Santa's list :)
I love Christmas songs especially the classics you have listed here !
Be blessed my blogging friend .
Until Next Time
Happy Trails

That corgi :) said...

Loved the snowman cartoon! And those holiday eating tips were great; I'm definitely going to follow them; good reminder for me, I haven't had any eggnog this year; need to get some soon! Thanks for the list of songs too! If that doesn't put us into the holiday spirit, nothing will!

betty

Tweedles -- that's me said...

i like the skinny snow girl
love
tweedles

Good to be a Queen said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE RULES.....THEY WILL NEVER BE BROKEN BY ME MY FRIEND.

Whosyergurl said...

Sandie, YUM, RUM balls! My Grandmother used to make them and we would all eat them and play cards and GIGGLE! I LOVE eggnog! I've been drinking it and sitting in front of the fire tonight.
XO, Cheryl

Simply Debbie said...

HI SANDIE,
THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY TO SEE ME. YOUR POST WAS VERY FUNNY AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SKINNY MODEL SNOWWOMAN BEFORE...BUT YOU WOULD FIND HER.
I ENJOYED VERY MUCH LISTENING TO THE SONGS.
HAVE A GOOD EVENING AND AN EVEN BETTER TOMORROW.
HUGS
LOVE
SIMPLY DEBBIE

FishHawk said...

I had no idea that you were such an expert on good eating. KEEP UP THE WORK!

Jane said...

Funny post!!!!

Jane

Gaston Studio said...

Great advice Sandi, some of which I've already began taking with great care to wear loose sweat pants.