For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thursday Inspirations . . .

Puns for Educated Minds..... (Thanks Jerry)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat
said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm
positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


Oh and how do you like this for the thought of the day?

“I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.”

Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855);
novelist

I love looking up.

Chatty

19 comments:

varunner said...

My first thought when I saw your post was, "Wait. It's Thursday?" Whew, been one of those weeks. Witty stuff today! :-)

Susan said...

Holy mackeral, Sandie. Those were good puns and there were lots of them, too. Thanks for sharing and have a super duper day! Susan

The Quintessential Magpie said...

These were great, Sandy! I love looking upward, too.

And I got a kick out of this...

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I am so far behind I am wondering if I will ever catch up! This week is birthday central and just everything central. I'm running and chasing my tail in a circle. I shouldn't have posted that Mad Hatter party... see what it did! LOL! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. I'm late. ;-)

XO,

Sheila :-)

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I'm hanging on today and looking upward! Hugs, Linda

Together We Save said...

I love these!! Thanks for sharing!!

My Grama's Soul said...

Cute....cute....cute....made me smile today!!

Xo

Jo

Sandra said...

you know i like them, 6 and 7 are my favorites and of course the dog littering by the roadside

Ginny said...

These are good, I just had to print them!!!

LADY JANE said...

Sandie my dear...You are so "punny"
would it be any wonder I look up to you! I'm catching up on some blogs! Yes...I am home most days...but on Tues and Thursday I try to get alot of running done for my Mom!Mornings are best for me..anyway! I accidently deleted a few e-mails and am looking for our last conversation...yep...duh Jane...oh well...Hugs..will catch up with ya later!

Debbie said...

I can't pick a favorite. I can't even pick a top five. Those are all terrific.

And I love the Charlotte Bronte quote too.

Velvet Over Steel said...

Great puns, Sandie!! I've never seen these before!

Hope you have a wonderful Friday & weekend!!!
Hugs,
Coreen

Barb Hodges said...

Sandie, I love looking up too,but not when a bird is flying over:)Continue getting stronger each day. Follow the PT's orders.

Sharon Kirby said...

Oh my gosh! You've got to stop this - I'm busting a gut chortling. My husband thinks I'm crazy - staring at a computer, cracking up...

I like the title - puns for EDUCATED minds - that made me feel a little better about the whole thing.

My favorite? #21 - one carrion - I'm a sucker for a little "dark humor!"

JeanMac said...

Those are so good.

Mimi said...

HI MISS CHATTY!!!
I have BEEN SOOOO BUSY lately, have not stopped by here in some time, please forgive me for this.HOW ARE YOU FEELING???
I sure hope alot better by now.
It has been a very hectic scary week for us, but Praise God he is so good and we thank him for being with us.
Love ya,
jamie

FishHawk said...

BOO! HISS! (Yeah, since I had a hand in this, it can be argued that I really am catcalling myself. I wonder if this would have been enough to give Freud a headache?)

Just Be Real said...

Thanks for the puns Sandie.

Granny Annie said...

Since I didn't read these yesterday they will have to be my Friday Inspirations. Loved them every one.

Knitty said...

Oh how I love a pun! Thanks for sharing these!