Advice of the day (thanks Jerry I didn't know this) - Don't chew gum when exercising!
This is cool! Try not to spend all day at this... (I think it's impossible, but Monica said to watch the way the wind is blowing).
Click here: PARACHUTE JUMP
Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona .
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night - early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and, says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
(Thank you Fran)
THE UGLY FROG (Thank you Jean)
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered, 'I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME.. YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY.'
The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her.
As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her 'KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY..'!
So! The old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince
THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS.
SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS. NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?
COME ON GUESS!
SHE TURNED INTO the first Holiday Inn SHE COULD FIND!!!
She's old . . . . NOT DEAD !!!!!
She's old...... NOT DEAD!!!!!
OLD LADIES ROCK
PS I stole that Valentine Border and I forgot who I 'borrowed' it from - sorry, but thanks)
Especially if you know chatty . . . lol
When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.
I want to thank all you for being in my circle of friends!(From Fran)