For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, September 16, 2011

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.





Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear.”
“Yes sir, I understand your concern and I’ll try harder.”
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, “It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled.
He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said, ‘Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?’”

Thanks Sharon N! (friend)




A CRAZY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL! Thanks Jerry from As The Cracker Crumbles









Important Women's Health Issue:
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas.


Thank you Kim of Millie's Mats







A young punker gets on the crosstown bus. He's got
spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple and
orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags.
His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire
face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and
his earrings are big, bright feathers.

He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across
from a man who Just glares at him for the next ten
miles. Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks
at the old man.

"What are you looking at you old man......didn't you
ever do anything wild when you were young?"

Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah.
Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really
drunk in Singapore and made love to a parrot. I thought
maybe you were my son."

Thanks Jeannie (cousin)



Moo Shoe Pork

Woman Contacts Technical Support...

Dear Technical Support...

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Woman

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

(Thanks Jerry at As the Cracker Crumbles)





"We can live a life full and complete, thinking with our heads but living from our hearts.”


Helen Hunt, M.A

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Check out my September Blog Give Away.

41 comments:

Michaele said...

Oh, I get to be first! Great Friday post as usual. I liked the propsal best I think. I love how creative and funny people are. Thanks for the lift this morning.

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

Thanks for the Friday Kackles! Made me laugh! Have a great weekend!

Holly said...

Love Fridays with you! The proposal is the best, have a great weekend!

SweetMarie said...

HAPPY 6 Years of Blogging
Sandie!!!
I love Fun Friday with you. My husband and I read these together every Friday. Woman contacts technical support is the funniest!

Knitty said...

Once again I'll be sharing these with a few friends who for whatever reason don't read blogs. They sure are missing out!

Jo said...

Hey Sandie...good one I, lost my breathe when the guy fell off the building,thanks for giving my heart a real good jump start for the day,love you friend.
have a great weekend.
~Jo

Jill said...

These were all great! Appreciate I know I can come here for a laugh every Friday. :)

Remington said...

Oh my! I can't stop laughing! What a great way to start the weekend! THANK YOU, my friend!

Ginny said...

We love EVERYTHING here!!! It was our morning entertainment! Phil is sick with a horrible cold, and as we sit on the couch I have been turning my laptop around and reading him this. Unfortunately, every time he laughs it provokes a bad coughing fit!!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Thanks for the chuckles! I suddenly have a craving for Chinese food...:@)

Wanda's Wings said...

Thanks for the laughs.

Thisisme. said...

Such good ones for us today. Really funny. Loved the one about the punk, the old man and the parrot! LOL!! Have a super weekend.

Dragonfly Treasure said...

Thank you I needed that! Had court yesterday for the divorce...waste of time and money, his atty is never ready. But it's been rescheduled until Jan!! Now owrries for a bit...after I get thru Tuesday and the Criminal trial.
LOVED the proposal!! Awesome.
Thanks for the laughs, such a great way to start out the day and weekend.
Take care and have a nice weekend.
*hugs*deb

Susan said...

Oh,Sandie, that was a great post. Hilarious. That marriage proposal was the best. That poor girl! People think up the darnest things, don't they? Thanks for sharing. Susan

Starry Dawn said...

Good Morning, Sandie,
Thank you for posting your heartfelt comment in my poem, "Life without friends!!"
It truly encourages me to find true friends such as yourself to uplift my spirit.
I enjoy reading your blog. Each post is full of inspirations from your lovely and caring heart.
At times, you make me crack up in laughter, sweetheart.
I love you in Christ, Sandie!!
God keeps blessing you, and all those you love!!
Blessings,
Poet Starry Dawn.

TexWisGirl said...

loved the margarita one. right up my alley! :)

Belle said...

You had me at the potato cartoon! Great jokes - thanks!

Sally said...

Well, I've never had a margarita, but now I'm thinking HELLO, what is wrong with me? I'll try it today!!

Love them all, Sandie. I've really missed you!! :)

Sandra said...

love the cow wa sockie, love the pms sign, send me one please for my front yard, and that poor Admiral.

Sandra said...

forgot to say, the stupid chickens was so stupid i actually laughed our loud. i know some people like that.

Melanie said...

That marriage proposal video was so funny, very original, and I like the JW cartoon. He had fair warning. :)
Hope you have a great weekend.

Kim said...

What a hoot! Thanks for the laughs again. Loved the look on the girl's face when he fell off the roof!!

Eva Ason said...

Happy Friday Sandie, Hope you're having a good one! Mine is nearly over. I do love your Friday posts - they always brings a smile! Thank you :)

Walking on Sunshine... said...

These are too funny!!! I especially love the Admiral one! Hope you have a great weekend!

That corgi :) said...

LOL with the potato carton, Sandie!! You always put together so many funnies for Friday! Good way to start the weekend!

betty

Crystal Mary said...

You are a real CRACK UP!!! I always feel lifted up when I visit here.. I LOVE YOU!!!!! XXXXX

Jeanie said...

Well now, I think I may just have to go have a Margarita...or maybe not.
Thanks for all the fun on this Friday.

Ann said...

So much fun and all in one place. Loved the moo shoe pork.

SavannahGranny said...

Bob and I both are still laughing. I had to read aloud the one about the young"punk". We have a school in here. Savannah College of Art and Design. We see these kind of kids all around town. It really hit home. Hugs, Ginger

Angela said...

Great Friday Funnies as always Sandie! I loved the baked potatoes! I love baked potatoes! lol With butter and sour cream on the side! hehehe

Happy Friday!
Angela

BECKY said...

Always such great and funny stuff here, Miss Chatty!! You always have things that make me smile and laugh out loud! Have a great weekend!

Pat MacKenzie said...

Great stuff today Sandie. I love the baked potato cartoon. The proposal was great too.

Rob-bear said...

Um, well, yes. So much here I don't know where to begin.
So I won't.
Hope you've had a grand Friday (I think you have, from the material in your post), and are heading into a great weekend.

A Quiet Corner said...

Margaritas are AWESOME...in the summer that is!...:)JP

FishHawk said...

Thank you again for another very gracious acknowledgment!

Stella said...

I have seen pigs in a blanket but never pigs in a slipper. Loved it! As an army brat I enjoyed your wal-mart joke.

Chris Graham said...

What a delight way to start the weekend. Thanks again dear lady.

Buttercup said...

You put together the best Friday posts. I'm still chucking over the piggy picture!

CollectIn Texas Gal said...

OMG I so needed everyone of those Big Ole Chuckles!!! Thanks!!! Gotta pass on the Upgrade one...it's Pricless 5.0!!!

Carol said...

EVERYTHING about FUN FRIDAY is awesome but that Margarita entry was THE BEST!!!!

Sharon said...

Sandie, Sandie, Sandie - how I love you!

OK, some comments:

Wal-Mart: Admirals having to work at Wal-Mart - yup, a sign of our oh-so-healthy economy.

I've tried that medication Margaritas. It works great. However, you forgot to mention one important side effect. It can affect your memory. What else was I going to say?

Punker/Parrot - See, that's the kind of old person I want to be. Witty, a bit sarcastic, and never missing a beat with the younger generation!

Moo Shoe Pork - this picture is worth a thousand words - most of which are, "Groan..."

Technical Support - Husband 1.0 might be a little slow, but he's much more reliable than boyfriend 5.0 ever was.

I am LOLing here...