For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, October 21, 2011

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends!

OUCH!











Thank you Sharon.

Lexiphi (i.e., "lovers of words" - you know. . . like, you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. . . or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. . . then it hit me. . . etc.).

Well, here are some for you to enjoy. . .

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . .. . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.



Thank you Sharon again!



Don't laugh too hard. If you don't understand this now, you will in a few years...

When asked by a young patrol officer "Do you know you were speeding?

This 83-year-old woman talked herself out of a ticket by stating...

"Yes, but I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."




WHY NOT TO OWN A GUN - Thank you Jerry As the Cracker Crumbles




Thanks - I think - Jerry
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...




Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.









Thought for today:

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

- James Oppenheim


x_5c59c1d

39 comments:

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Happy Friday! I love all the Halloween festivities here :-)

Jill said...

Morning Sandie! Loved these, especially the videos!

Changes in the wind said...

Love, love, love the cycle video:)

Marydon said...

LOLOLOL!!! Needed this today, sweetie.
Have a beautiful weekend ~
TTFN ~
Hugs,
Marydon

Jeanie said...

I loved the word play, Sandie. It woke my brain up a little to read those first thing in the morning.

Pondside said...

Thanks for the great morning chuckle! I had my husband standing behind me reading and then watching over my shoulder.

BECKY said...

Loved them all! There are some way-more-talented people in the world than me..I find out every time I'm reading these witty and/or hilarious posts you give us! :)

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

Hi Sandie! I love your fun Fridays, it's a great way to start the day! Have a wonderful weekend!

Flora said...

Fun Friday! Thanks. Have a great weekend Sandi!

Susan said...

Oh, Sandie. Those were funny, funny. Now did you read two "funnies?" That's because your post today WAS funny, funny. ha ha ha

The pink elephant video was hilarious.

Thanks for the morning chuckles, girlfriend! Susan

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

Love'em all! Thanks for the chuckles! But you forgot to tell us where the bicycles were!!

Ginny said...

The list at the beginning is really good, I have copied that. And the pink elephant thing is cute, Ella will love that, she is all about elephants! The foreign commercial, I don't think they were really making those lights by pedaling, but it is CUTE!

Sandra said...

i am claiming this one for ME

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

loved the pink elephant. candid camera with a twist. great funnies and i did not see the the word the

Just Stuff From a Boomer said...

You always lighten my day. The pink elephant was cute. A great way to start the weekend.

Eva Ason said...

Hi Sandie, Happy Friday my friend. I love the Pink Elephant Prank :) Have a lovely day! Hugs x

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Happy Friday to you!! These are tooooo funny! Especially the preacher one! Thanks for the laugh! Have a good weekend!

Shug said...

Hi Sandie...

Lots of laughter today and I needed it! Some of these are too funny..I can just hear my grandkids going around telling all their friends about the pencil one..thanks for all the fun today...I've had a wonderful time...
Blessings and I hope your weekend is filled with happiness..
Warm hugs,
shug

Shug said...

Hi Sandie...

Lots of laughter today and I needed it! Some of these are too funny..I can just hear my grandkids going around telling all their friends about the pencil one..thanks for all the fun today...I've had a wonderful time...
Blessings and I hope your weekend is filled with happiness..
Warm hugs,
shug

SweetMarie said...

These are great Sandie! I love your fun Fridays! And so does my hubby!

GrammyK said...

Giggle!! Loved the pink elephant!! I missed the second "the" in the triangle and my 11yos walked over and I thought I'd catch him. Sigh. He saw it and was like "mom, you're so lame"! Ha Ha!! "All in good time my little pretty. All in good time."

Have a great weekend!!
<3 Blessings!!
Kris

Thisisme. said...

So much for us to digest and laugh at on this frolicsome Friday my friend!! My favourites were the witch hitting the tree (ouch!!) and the man with his wife's teeth. So funny. Have a lovely weekend.

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

all these are really awesome.

thanks! i had the best giggle ever!

happy friday!
thanks for you lovely comment, so nice to "meet" you!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Loved the play on words-Happy Weekend:@)

That corgi :) said...

That was so funny with the pink elephant prank! The look on the peoples' faces were priceless! The minister's teeth joke was funny too! I hope you have a great weekend, Sandie!! Go out and have some fun!

betty

Ann said...

Hooray for Friday. Lots of fun stuff here today. Have a great weekend

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I think the guy with the gun thought he had actually shot himself in the head for a while. He probably would have liked to have had a mirror just to check.

The pink elephant was pretty funny.

Belle said...

I did not see the the twice in that small sentence. Love the pastor and teeth joke!

Angela said...

You always have the funniest funnies on Friday! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Happy Fun Friday!
Angela

Buttercup said...

You always make me smile with your Friday collections. Thanks and hugs!

Bob Bushell said...

That's funny, nice blog.

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

stopping by to thank you for following CUT AND DRY and return the same.
i'm so glad to have met you and hope you have a great weekend!

betty

Raindrops and Daisies said...

Hi Sandie,

I always love your Friday posts
as they always bring a huge big smile to my face!

Love the pink elephant!

Have a great weekend.

x Fiona

Debbie said...

OK, this week was what I call a Favorite Fest. I kept finding one thing to claim as my favorite after another.

Great from beginning to end.

And maybe... that quote at the end was my favorite part.

Sandy said...

fun post..I had lots of laughs...!

Mevely317 said...

LOVE these pink touches, Sandie!

Course, I'm hoping being painted didn't harm the elephant???... Who'd have wanted THAT job?

Would you have the nerve to jump on a stationary bike in public? Not me!

Granny Annie said...

Wow another big batch of funnies!

Carol said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the witch! LOTS of FUN with this post.

ocmist said...

Some I've heard and some I haven't, but I enjoyed them all as usual. Thanks for the smiles!

Sharon said...

Sometimes Fun Friday is just the PERFECT antidote to a muggy Monday. Thanks for the laugh today. I so enjoy chuckling with you...

I loved the U.C.L.A. joke - both my boys went there. And believe me, those non-smoggy days don't happen too often!

And, you know what they say about teepees, don't you - the heat's in tents.

Ohhhhh...ouch.