For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Saturday -CHATTY VENTING PLAIN AND SIMPLE


More rantings and ravings today about my grandson.

My grandson is dyslexic with ADHD. Now the only thing he can't do is spell and his writing suffers. However in middle school there are no more spelling tests and writing is done on a computer. His other grades and test scores are in the high 70% ranking.

These are the facts as I know them.

Christian schools are not equipped for this. They also give scholarships to help pay for the kids that do get accepted.

The dyslexic schools are equipped, but offer no scholarships. They cost 10K-20K.

Now my GS is in regular classes - he has made a couple C's all the rest A's and B's in all 6 years. So how equipped do they have to be? He has had no discipline issues either.

We are still waiting for school number 3 in March.

Now - why do I really want a Christian school?

Thursday night the GS came home and told us that he was called gay by the same boy he has been bullied by all year long. The bully then told another boy not to get close to the GS because he was a gayster - whatever that is - and it might rub off on him.

We went in to the school Friday morning and basically we come to find out that apparently that word isn't so bad anymore. It is just something that he has to go through - like a rite of passage to teenage hood. I heard that about ten times. I guess they were saying the GS needed to grow up.

Now I have friends who are gay, but calling someone that and telling others not to play with them is mean at age 10. Apparently if he was called but some other names - starting with J, n, or use the word that starts with an f - that would constituent abuse.

The school officials checked out the stories from the other kids. And yes the boys did call him that, but because it was a 'game' they were playing and the GS didn't tell that part of the story - my grandson got yelled at and in big trouble. Although GS called no one a name.

Now yes GS should have told us the whole story - but it is sexual harassment to call someone a name like that or not - because it was a game does it make it okay? Oh yeah I forgot to tell you - the bully - his mom is a teacher there.

I was talking to my sister yesterday and I was riled and when I was walking down the stairs phone in one hand and glass dishes in another - I missed the 3rd step from the bottom and I fell - hook line and sinker. My left shoulder hurts and my right leg. Oh me oh my. My fault as I wasn't paying attention.

So I am VENTING tonight. Sorry. I just needed too. You don't have to even comment if you don't want. Not sure what to do. Yes, I do. I am going to bed praying. To have God help sort this all out! I answered my emails today, but I am late reading your posts, but I will. What in the world would I do without y'all?



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Tomorrow is a new day.
Joy Cometh in the Morning.


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45 comments:

Shelly said...

I do hope and pray he gets accepted to a school quickly. And please take care of yourself!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

My sweet friend, you know I am praying for you and GS about this situation. Bless you and take care of yourself!
hugs, Linda

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I am sending you prayers.
And I don't think anyone should be bullied around by someone calling them names- regardless of their age.
Big people hurt to.
I hope it works out soon. And I hope you feel better soon.
After all, what would Jesus say?
love
tweedles

Jean said...

First..I hope you have recovered from your fall.
Second...I would like to have a conversation with the parents of the kids that are teasing your grandson. Oh...I bet they are ignorant rednecks and wouldn't listen since they have taught their children to judge and rag others so they can feel better about their own defects.

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Kids can be so cruel. I don't think there's much to be done unless his school has a zero tolerance for bullying -- most of the schools have to act on these situations, it's in their code of conduct. Maybe something to look into.

Big hugs, Sandie -- hope you are feeling better.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh Sandie, I just hurt for you... I know how much you want to help that adorable grandson... Sometimes, life gives us lemons.. We just need to find ways to make lemonade. I'm sure that your grandson's school situation will work itself out... Hang in there and continue praying for the BEST for him.

Sorry you feel... Take care of YOU.
Hugs and Prayers,
Betsy

Angela said...

That's just awful how the teachers kids always get by with their bullying! I hate that for Andy! I do know that in the 5th grade the girls were really hard on each other. My daughter absolutely hated 5th grade. Once she got to the middle school in the 6th grade it was so much better.

Andy's grades are great Sandie! It is true. They don't have spelling tests at our middle schools either.

I'd say that Christian Schools just don't have the teachers who were trained to help children with the dyslexia and they are scared he will fall behind because of it. I just don't know... I hope he gets in.

Hugs,
Angela

Ginny said...

I'm here, Sandie, and reading your story of woe, what a lousy day!!!! I have had a bad day too, so that makes us both, in the wee midnight hours we will console each other! Or more like I console you, I bet you are in bed now, and I hope you can sleep and don't hurt too bad!!! When I go to bed, I will pray that you did not hurt anything too bad, and about GS again. Gosh, you must have had a bad shock to mind and body when you fell!!! My computer went down today. The computer guy came over and got it going again, but I need to buy a new one right away. He put it on a one half inch thick slab of wood, and the heat came clear through the wood! hoping it doesn't crash before I get the new one, I don't have good back-up. It's ALWAYS the preacher's kids and the teacher's kids that act up!!! GS is not alone, name calling and bullying is everywhere. Friends of ours, 11 year old twins, are in a new school and being punched, hit, and called horrible vile names. I was bullied when I was in middle school, too. I am glad you went to the school, even though it didn't seem to do much good!! That is sad!

Retired English Teacher said...

Middle school is a rough time. This sort of thing goes on all the time. Having said that, I know there are two sides to every story, but I don't think this sort of bullying should be tolerated anywhere. It is a disrespectful thing to do. The kids need to learn to show respect to each other. Where did these name calling activities take place? It's not like there is recess at middle school. This should not take place in the classroom, the hallways, or the cafeteria, so where does this happen? Someone needs to be in charge.

I think this school must not be a good placement for your GS for many reasons. I hope you can find one to help him and gives him a more stable environment.

BE CAREFUL on those stairs!

Hang in there.

The Boston Lady said...

Sandie so sorry about all of this. Kids can be hateful and their parents ignorant. My son was bullied in 7th grade. I first went to the parents. When it continued iwent and observed to be sure ihad the story right. Then I talked to the bully and the parents again. It turned out ok for my son in the end. I think bullying can occur at any school and I believe the schools need to take it seriously. I do not condone this rite of passage nonsense. Should our schools not be teaching tolerance and respect for everyone? I feel your pain and hope a good solution presents itself. Ann

Life is good! said...

soooo sorry. i was never so happy as i was when my children were done with middle school. what a tough age. hopefully things will work out how you want it. be careful on those stairs!!!! good luck and God bless you both!

Maria@BubblegumandDuctTape said...

Sandie, you did the right thing, by going to the school and demanding answers, your GS sees that you are looking out for his well being. It's unfair that the other kids didn't learn a lesson here, it would have been a really good opportunity for them to learn the lessons of respect and friendships. I guess the only one who learned some valuable lessons is your GS, tolerance and understanding that there are funky people out there in the world that may not his best interest in mind and that there are some people who are not worth his time. Some hard lessons for a young boy to learn but at the end of the day, your GS has matured just that much more while the other boys are still lost boys and I feel sorry for them.

Your fall, not good. Watch those steps Sandie.

Belle said...

It is so painful having your child or grandchild hurting because of kids at school. And this happens so often! I am really sorry. It is hard to believe the parents and teachers won't do anything about it! Terrible.

As you said, prayer is the best solution and God has a plan in mind I'm sure. I was praying for my grandson this morning because of some of his problems and it seemed God spoke to my heart and said, "Worry not." I felt so much better. I pray God will help your grandson, and I pray you will be over that fall you had.

Donna B. said...

I am so sorry to hear about what your GS has been going through at school...I know how protective us grandmas can be... Vent away and we will pray with you. I hope you are not seriously hurt from your fall.
Big hugs,

Linda O'Connell said...

That school missed out on a teachable moment. I find it more helpful when you have a conference with administrators to ask them questions instead of just report an incident: "What do you intend to say to the offender? Is it permissable for children to___? How will YOU stop my child from being bullied? What sort of messages are you sending to the students?
Demand answers! Sorry to hear about this, but I know for a fact, Middle School is rough.

Sandra said...

so sorry about GS and your fall, hope you are ok this morning and not sore from the fall. the only thing i can say is look at the picture of the boat at the end of this post and follow the instructions written on it. Breathe Deep, exhale Breathe Deep Exhale... see how smart i am? i wish i had an answer or some wise advice but i don't

Eva Ason said...

Dear Sandie, I always pray for your GS, and sorry to hear he have to go through this. It is ALWAYS good to vent...and we're here listening and praying for you!
Have a great Sunday and hope that you'll feel better soon from the fall. Big hugs x

Eva

My Journey With Candida said...

Kids can be so cruel to each other. I hope this all works out for you.... and I hope you didn't hurt yourself to bad..

Rhonda said...

Oh Sandie, how your heart must hurt...and I believe you headed out to the true source of "solutions" for your injuries, which will heal, and for you GS. Life is so full of anger anymore and it seems that children are but a reflection of a more serious crime, they are bullied at home by their parents in some form or fashion...I will add you and your GS to my prayer time asking God to lead and guide and to give all concerned wisdom to go what is best for your GS....

Melanie said...

Oh, Sandie, I am so sorry to hear about all this! I hope you didn't hurt yourself too bad!
I feel so bad for Andy. I will be praying for him. It seems that we get a lot of new students about the 5th or 6th grade level, and most all of them are being bullied in public school.
I firmly believe public schools are reaping what they have sown. For years now, they have taken God out of everything. Heaven forbid anyone be offended!
Well, I hope today will be better for you. I will be praying for all of you in this situation. Hugs to you, my friend.♥

Kim said...

I'm so sorry. Kids can be so mean. And this zero tolerance for bullies is a joke. It drives me crazy. I'm sure if I was a parent I would end up in jail. Every week there is a story on the news about some poor kid. It breaks my heart.

Jill said...

DEAR Sandie:
First of all, I am glad you feel you can vent here. I admire you for your positive outlook on life but sometimes bad things do happen to good people and it is fine to vent. I, for one, am thankful I can offer you some sort of support and friendship via your blog.

Next, the fact that this school will not take this seriously is appaling to me. Do they not read the papers? Listen to the news? These so called "games" are hurting people. It is not acceptable. They are not doing their job. It is inexcusable. I have worked in the public school system and it isn't pretty. Yes, there are some good people but too often there are adminstrators like yours that are flat out afraid to take a stand agaisnt bullying.

Your grandson is so lucky to have your love and support and that he knows the love of God. You will all be in my prayers.

I hope you aren't too sore today after your fall. I'm so sorry. May you find peace in the Lord today and always.
*HUGS*

Sarah (Nikki) said...

oh Chatty....I hope you're okay today.....about your GS....I don't think the school handled it well. I've heard some bullying in Christian schools too so not sure if it would be any better. praying for you guys that Andy ends up where it would be the best place for him. I hate to hear kids being mean to each other. Hey and watch those step okay

TexWisGirl said...

i am sorry. i know you are distressed. i was going to say, take a deep breath, but you said it before i could. this too shall pass...

Jeanie said...

It is infuriating that the school didn't handle this any better. Your grandson is so fortunate to have you advocating for him. I hope time and prayer will bring the right answers.

Sally said...

I'm so sorry, Sandie. ((hugs))

Prayers here.

Lynn said...

Bullying is never right and it is certainly not a rite of passage. I would be angry, too.

Hope you are OK from the fall!

Knitty said...

Awww Sandie... :(
My immediate reaction is to call the year long bully an a$$hole because that is surely how he is behaving, but then I would need a stronger word for his mother and what would I use that I can actually type here?

As a teacher, she should be clearly aware of bullying with words as well as physical taunts.

You and I are old enough to remember a time when schools wouldn't tolerate a little smart mouth, but that was also when a kid worried more about his disciplinary fate awaiting at home than in the principal's office.

No wonder more parents are home schooling. I try to maintain the same level of respect I once had for ALL teachers but many factors have caused that respect to be given with a wariness now. I mean no disrespect to teachers in general, many times their hands are tied by their administration. It is a very ugly situation.

Does GS's school have a zero tolerance policy in their handbook? Maybe it is time to go to the school board.

I wish you luck with school #3 and healing wishes as well.

Jane said...

Bullying should never be accepted anywhere,keep praying,and I will be saying prayers that your gs gets into a better school,sometimes life can be so unfair. Be careful on those steps! Blessings Jane

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

so sorry to hear about all of this.

i keep praying he gets accepted to a school really soon.

hope you are ok from the fall by now.

bless you and take good care of yourself.

(((hugs)))

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Wow! I'm amazed that the school would accept these boys calling your son that name!!! This is horrible!! And to think that just because your gs can't spell properly and has problems with writing that he's not being accepted at these schools. I'm glad you vented! Now all of us here in blogworld will storm the gates of heaven on your behalf and especially for your precious grandson! No one should go through this kind of abuse! So sorry!!!

Ann said...

sorry to hear about the fall but you can use it as the perfect excuse to lay back and take it easy today.
Personally I think the way the school is handling the situation is all wrong. They are giving the kids permission to act badly

Mevely317 said...

Still praying, Sandie. Please be good to yourself today!

Big Hug )))))

Maple Lane said...

My oldest nephew (now late 30's) struggled in school with dyslexia, also. I sympathize with your grandson. I do know that I can and will pray for your grandson, your family and the school situation. May God bless.

The Brown Recluse said...

I get plain mad when I read stuff like this. The whole story makes me MAD. And as you know, there's no easy answer, either. My grandson is being picked on by bullies on the bus...he's a lot smaller than most kids his age (he was premature), and the kids picking on his are older...around 10...my grandson is 8.

Unfortunately, kids in Christian schools can be cruel, too...but I do believe he'd be much better off in that environment than the public school system.

Buttercup said...

And what would I do without you? What a rough situation and what a poor response from the school. That is no "game" in any school. Keeping just the right school in my prayers.

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Sandie, I feel your frustration. My son (he's almost 29 now) had ADD and I can still feel the anguish of the roadblocks and obstacles in his education. Sooooo frustrating. Then you add bullying on top of all that. Oh, girl. I'm sending big hugs your way. Hope you are feeling recovered from your stumble. blessings ~ Tanna

Michaele said...

First of all - I wish I could give you the biggest ol' hug you've ever had. Second - being a grandma is not supposed to be this hard. Third - sometimes all you can do is just keep on huggin' and telling him how special he is. Sometimes you just can't win.
p.s. sometimes you can - so keep on fighting if that's what it takes.
- This too will pass -

Recovering Church Lady said...

It is so awful to watch helplessly as a family member goes through such garbage. I am so sorry!
I do hope you are not thinking that a christian school will be free from bullies. My sons both attended christian schools all the way through because we felt safer there, but the stories they tell us now are pretty awful.
Hope he finds a solution.

GrammyK said...

Sandie... (((((Big Hug)))))

When it rains, it pours? I'm sorry to hear all of this. I'm praying for you!!

<3

Grandma Bonnie said...

I am keeping you in my prayers for your fall and for your sweet grandson.

Sandy said...

All I know is that kids can be so mean! I would be bothered too, by all this.

Ouch I hope you are okay. I slipped about a week ago, my sock was too smooth on the bottom and it hit the edge of the step and I started to slide. Fell on my butt and man did i get a bruise...

Heal quickly!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

We hurt the worst when the kids hurt, and I'm so very sorry. I hope the right solution is found.

Terribly sorry about your fall. :(

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry about the problems that are happening with you grandson. I am sure that a Christian school will be better but I don't believe that the bullying will stop. Children are cruel. So sorry about your fall.
Hope you don't ache for too long.

Debbie said...

NO NO NO NO NO

I'm angry. That is bullying plain and simple. I don't care what the take of the counselor is, the intent was clearly to hurt him. Hence, the "don't play with him" tag onto it.

I'm going to be as blunt as I can be. The counselor needs to be disciplined by professional practices and/or terminated. There are too many good folks out there looking for a job in the school systems. There are bully policies in place, and that school is NOT following them.

My mom told me about this post, and this is the first chance I've had to get here. She's TICKED too. Mean old rotten bullies. I dislike them intently.

And I'm sorry about your shoulder and fall.

I really and truly want to head north and gently hug you, Sandie.