For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, July 20, 2012

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.



 


The Pastor's New Teeth

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.

The following Sunday, he talks for two hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than eight minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.

Thank you Jerry!


 



 Thank you Kelly.

 




                My wife, Julie, had  been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our  toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was  out. After finishing, I left to take
                care of another  matter before she returned.
                She came in and undressed  to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on  the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that  the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet  seat.
                About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
                We both pushed and pulled without any  success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the  toilet seat bolts.
                Julie wrapped a sheet around herself  and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
                The ER  Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to  free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).
                Julie  tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,  "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like  this before."
                The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen  lots of them......
                I just never saw one mounted and  framed."
Hope you thought that was funny!  Thanks Monica.




 
IT'S SO HOT in . . . . . . .


.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
.....hot water comes from both taps.
.....you can make sun tea instantly.
.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.
.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car
     (one on each hand).
.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.
.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out
     and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out
     and add butter.
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
     laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY in Indiana that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!


 Thank you to my cousin Jeannie in Indiana!

 


Thank you Sharon.

Now sorry guys - but it is good to be a woman and I'll tell you why:



1. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo. 
2. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 
3. We will never regret piercing our ears. 
4. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 
5. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Sorry guys , but it's true.  Thank you Fran.

Photobucket



Thank you Kelly.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!
x_3bb4d50e

 PS: Yesterday my husband went to the library and a woman came up to him and handed him his own wallet. He had dropped it out in the parking lot! Inside was a fold he had place a $100 bill - why I don't know - but it was still there and she put her business card there. So if there is anyone in the Marietta area that needs someone that needs health care - here is the email www.CobbinHomeCare.com or 678-777-2989. I wish I had her name when my mother was dying. I would have trusted her!. 
Thanks Fabiola Benner!




49 comments:

HOOTIN ANNI said...

....can't get beyond the Pastor and his teeth....that just cracked me up.

Miss Debbie said...

That's some funny stuff and a great story about the wallet! Yes, there are still some honest folks around!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Your joke about the three sisters reminds me of a saying my dad had. "Of course I believe in the 'hereafter'. Every day I walk into a room and say, 'Now what was I here after?'"

That corgi :) said...

LOL about the woman's and man's cold pictures (but isn't it the truth?) That is neat to see that there are still honest people around here, Sandie! Glad hubby got his wallet back intact!

have a good day!

betty

Chicken Wrangler said...

Great way to start a Friday! Thanks Chatty!!!

Linda O'Connell said...

Loved the one about baptizing. Also enjoyed allof your photos. Have a great weekend.

Nonnie said...

The sick man and sick woman. Lol, so much truth there!

I love the wallet story because a similar thing has happened to my husband recently (and more than once) and it always lifts me up to know that yes, there are still people who take the time to do the right thing.

laurie said...

oh my gosh you know how to pick them, you always make me laugh, great about the wallet and i'm with you, an honest woman found it it wow!!!She sounds like a very trustworthy person!!Have a wonderful day!!!

Jill said...

Every one of these was so funny! Thanks for the giggles this morning. :)

Sall's Country Life said...

Oh thanks for popping up on my reader this morning - I needed a good laugh or 6 or 7!! Have a great day!!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I read some of these out loud while we finished our coffee and hubby and I BOTH had some laughs to start the day! Very fun Friday! Sweet hugs!

Jeanie said...

Lots of good laughs today, Sandie. Thanks for a fun start to the morning.

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

Too Much Fun for a Friday morning!! Have a great weekend Sandie!!

Gloria Hood said...

You sure started my Friday morning with a few laughs! Thanks!

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

What a great way to start my day - with a laugh or ten.

Lynn said...

All wonderful things for a Friday. Hope you have a great weekend, Sandie!

Wanda's Wings said...

I'm not sure which one I liked the best!

TexWisGirl said...

loved all the laughs - and the fact that you can still find good folks in this world.

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Still laughing about the mounted and framed one!!! LOL! and my hat's off to Fabiola Benner! blessings ~ tanna

Debby@Just Breathe said...

So many funnies! Thanks for the laughs. Have a great weekend.
Love, Debby

Mevely317 said...

DH and I are still chuckling over the toilet-seat incident!
Thanks for sharing your Good Samaritan story ... it's always heartening to read a piece of GOOD news in this big old world.
Hugs,
Myra

EM Illustrator said...

Many funnies today, like the one with the pastor and his teeth. There are some GOOD people out there ;)
Enjoy your Friday!

Eva

Changes in the wind said...

You out did yourself today Chatty and love the wallet story...hubby found a purse left in a grocery buggy outside of Petsmart and took it in...hope the woman got it back.

Knitty said...

I don't know which funny story I liked best, but the wallet story was definitely tops over all. Thanks for reminding us of good people doing good things.

Grandma Bonnie said...

You got me today! I am in tears laughing. I will share this laughter with everyone today. Hope you have a great weekend.

Sally said...

I'm sorta laughin' at the pastor and his teeth. Probably because I'm still nursing dental surgery I had on Wed. Always happy to read your Friday funnies. :)

Beth said...

I am LOL! Lots of funnies today!

silverthoughts2 said...

I'm really slow today, so I had to read that toilet joke about three times before I got it. Funny!

Paula said...

Lots of good 'ens here today but I really can relate to the colds.

TARYTERRE said...

These are bringing smiles to everybody I know. LOVED them.

Ann said...

The toilet seat story was hilarious.
It's nice to know there are still honest people out there too. Nice ending for today's post :)

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Thanks for the laughs and TGIF!:@)

Angela said...

I'm so glad that that woman found your husband's wallet and found him and gave it back to him. Funny how she put her business card inside it. Hopefully she will get some more business.

Have a Wonderful Weekend!
Angela

jack69 said...

Fantastic Friday input. I enjoy coming for a good laugh, and even some good common sense.
BUTT I kept going back to the framed one and laughing!!

I do Thank God for creating the woman, This would have been one boring place without you guys. Not to mention all the FUN TIMES!!!

Love from Pennsylvania!!!!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Loved the 'mounted and framed' rear!! Funny Friday for sure! Hugs, Linda

PS I love honest people!

Susan said...

Oh Sandie, that was great. The mounted and framed "art work" cracked me up.

And the honestly of that home health aide. How admirable.

The whole post was great. Thanks! Susan

mare ball said...

Where do you get this stuff?!?!? Oh my gosh, I'm cracking up! You are such spreader of giggles!

Rob-bear said...

Neither this pastor nor his wife have any of the related problems you discussed! When I talk, I take about 15-17 minutes.

Speaking of which, there is a prayer for preachers. "Lord, fill my mouth will real good stuff, and close it when I've said enough."

And isn't it great there are honest people around. I'm sure there are lots and lots of them. We never her about them, that's all.

Michaele said...

Great post Chatty! I think I laughed at the toilet seat on the most. I hope you don't mind if I shared the It's As Hot As one on facebook? Have a great weekend!

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

I just read some of these to my family, Sandie. We all had a good laugh! Thanks!! Have a great weekend!

Susannah said...

Hello Miss Chatty....you sure do know how to make a person LAUGH! These wee really funny. Thank you!

I hope you and your family have a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

ruthie said...

I love reading and laughing at your blog! Thanks for the lift! Have a happy weekend!

ruthie said...

Thanks for your kind words! You are always so thoughtful. You are up late!

Starry Dawn said...

Hi Sandie,
Many funnies you have told this day, my friend. I like the one with the pastor and his teeth, but the best one, I think, it's the one with the 3 sisters, 92, 94 and 96 year-old forgetful sisters...
You've got a great sense of humour. A good positive mood lady, you are sweetheart.
Thanks for sharing with us!!
Have a blessed weekend, Sandie!!
Warm Hugs,
Poet Starry.

Debbie said...

What an honest and good person she is! Sometimes I forget that there are still a lot of the good ones out there.

And the stories, as usual, brightened my morning.

SweetMarie said...

Love them all, but the three sisters was my favorite!
It's so nice to hear a happy story! What a truly good person to return your hubby's wallet!
Hope you have a fabulous weekend Sandie!
Love,
Marie

Grammy Goodwill said...

I loved all your jokes, esp the ones about how hot it is. Funny about the Catholics praying for the wine to turn back into water. How nice of that woman to return your hubby's wallet and how savvy of her to add her business card! Smart and honest - now that's a winning combination.

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

Thank you for another very honorable mention!

Mary said...

hahahhaha. all time great...I don't know how I missed this one. Love it.