If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
..Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
*************************************************
How To Install A Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's Work Boot's size 14-16 (used)
2. Place them on front porch, along with a copy of Gun And Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine
4. Leave a note on your door that reads Hey Bubba,Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I gone for more ammunition.Will be back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all of the dog's in the house. Better Just wait outside until we can get back.
*************************************************
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. ?After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' ?My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'
Love,
Chatty
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
..Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
*************************************************
How To Install A Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's Work Boot's size 14-16 (used)
2. Place them on front porch, along with a copy of Gun And Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine
4. Leave a note on your door that reads Hey Bubba,Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I gone for more ammunition.Will be back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all of the dog's in the house. Better Just wait outside until we can get back.
Cooter
*************************************************
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. ?After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' ?My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'
Love,
Chatty
YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT! Caution - you might never stop laughing. See Below-
Next week - Living Life In Color . . .
1 comment:
Still laughing!
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