A sad day for me,
My brother's birthday is today, or would have been. He died when he was 51 years old. He would have been 61 today. Oh it's so hard to believe it has been so long. I'm still so sad for me, but so happy for him. I think of Vince Gill's song, Go High On The Mountain. He lost his brother young too and his brother had a heavy load here on earth, so did mine. My brother tried so hard in life and just couldn't seem to get it right. I do believe he's with the Lord.
His kids still miss him, he died when his youngest, a son, was 20. His son was still in the finding himself stage of life and wasn't all that close to his dad. He didn't get the chance to fix things right and still to this day feels bad. His daughter was in the navy and couldn't be here and she still feels guilty. I tried to tell the kids, that he understood and to forgive themselves, but they are still carrying that load. How I wish for them to be able to go on and not owrry so much. It's okay. Of course, my parents both outlived him which was the right order of things at all. The funeral was so incredibly painful - it's jard when one dies so young. I stayed that day until they put the dirt over the ground. I tried to be faithful to the end.
He died in April, my father had a massaive heart attack that June on Father's Day, and then my brother's son, a roofer, fell 45 feet off a roof and suffered minimal brain damage and arm damage. Three generations of men all in the hospital on life support within six months. What a rough year that was - with yet another rougher year yet to come - 2003. (I'll write about it in January).
Dear brother, I still love and miss you everyday.