MOVING A DEAR FRIEND.
Ten years ago, I was in a group of women from church, but not for church reasons. We just got together once a week, ate lunch, and played cards. Things changed, during Covid we would meet outside - even in the winter we'd dress warm. In the light rain - held up umbrellas. We started meeting less. The group started to chang, but until just recently about four of us still got together for lunch once a month.
I am in the back behind the green umbrella in like a dark pink.
The first one moved into an assisted living I guess you would say - but doesn't need assistance yet. She can get more help as time goes by if she needs it. She moved about an hour away to live closer to her daughter. This place took all her money from her home sale, and I guess her Medicare Monthly.
So no money left for the kids.
The second one - my dear Marilyn has passed away from ovarian cancer.
The third one and the one I am probably closest to, moved to a Cadillac of an adult community that she can grow old in as well. They have everything there and I mean everything.
If you want to retire in this one - you better have a lot of money.
Number four has been diagnosed as bi-polar and seems to be hard for her to function with us.
She says she is coming but never shows up anymore. She also has her days and nights mixed up.
My next closest number five is married and living with her husband.
Still at home.
Let's say I am number six and I am married and living with my husband.
Still at home. BLESSED.
Number seven is the one whose life is changing as we speak. We are hurting for her right now.
She moved from Michigan years ago to come take care of her grandsons, when her daughter's husband filed for divorce.
She sold her house up there and put all her money in the daughter's house to help pay if off.
Over the years she's paid for a good deal of the bills as well.
Shes lived with her daughter now for about fifteen years and now the boys are grown up.
Her daughter has basically kicked her out of the house.
We knew it was coming eventually, but not where she gave her one month to get out. Her daughter when she was home, treated her mother ugly even in front of us. She told her mom if she didn't get out she'd go to a lawyer???
Well, our church group has taken up money and our little group of gals have set her up to the best of our ability.
Her daughter did find this home for her. It's not a Cadillac of a place, but it is not horrible either.
Problem one - She is in an assisted living facility - but it's mostly for memory care and her memory is sharp.
Problem number two is she can't walk.
She is heavy, and her legs are swollen.
She told them when she came in, she was level one - meaning self-sufficient because of her financial situation. She is not.
Every time they help her to the cafeteria, they charge her $5. To help get her up $5.
Everything is a $5. They want her to go to level two, but she does not have the money.
It is a nice place, and reasonable considering what the other gals in our group pay.
But to get the help she needs she has to pay a $1000 more a month!!!!!!!!!
Her daughter basically kicked her out of the house.
She did not give her or let her take any furniture.
We worked and got furniture from all over to supply and set up the room.
Her daughter will not help pay and does not come to visit.
Basically, she is abandoned, and our hearts are broken.
I am not asking for help - if you get reading this far - just prayers.
I don't know of an answer. There really isn't one except prayer.
She's made a lot of mistakes along the way AND she doesn't stand up enough for herself.
Our group has been telling her this for years - but you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.
A couple weeks ago when I was there - I saw that she had cellulitis. I have seen it before. I told them at the home that she needed to be put in hospital - but they gave her an ice pack and aspirin. I got mad and said she needed to be in the hospital and they well you can put her in right now. I didn't know what to do.
She's on her second week at the hospital now.
They are having trouble getting it controlled.
She will have to go to rehab after this - but she has to be able to stand up and she can't.
Can they cure it? Will she ever go back to her room?
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING TO HAPPEN?
So frankly I don't know any answer - but God is always there, and we all have to trust.
WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS??
Because my mind has been on this for quite a while.
Pay attention while growing old.
HAVE A PLAN.
Don't give your money away and trust that the right thing will happen.
Get a legal notarized check of what you paid on a property.
KEEP RECORDS
If someone starts talking about you moving - BEWARE THEY MEAN IT.
If friends offer you advice - LISTEN.
If they give you phone numbers to call and get information - CALL!
Look at homes around you.
Be proactive.
AGAIN, HAVE A PLAN.
