For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Tuesday "Tails"

Do you notice anything in these pictures?


Look closely. These are sets of two different animals and the title that it was sent under was called, "Blending In".

I think there's a time to blend in and there's a time not to blend in.

I went to lunch with my grandson last Friday. I really DON'T like to go to lunch at school. Have you had the experience of going to lunch at an elementary school? It's bad. It's so incredibly loud. Not good for the senses or for people who have sensory issues. And this just happened to be a day they were going to have lunch in the classroom. I thought I'd go home and come back another day, but he asked me to stay so I did.

The first ten minutes were okay. That's really all the time they need to eat - if they haven't eaten by then - forget it. The last 20 minutes the noise level and the activity level got louder and louder.

The grandson gets hyped up when the noise level gets loud - his senses go on overload. Now they were all loud to be honest. The difference is and not many people understand this, but when he gets hyped up, it takes longer for him to chill down then other need. While others get back in order in the classroom - (when the teacher says calm down) - the grandson might still be up. His 'engine' runs differently.

At first I was thinking gee I just wish he could learn to blend in. You know what I mean? Be just be like everyone else. Fly under the radar. It would be so much easier for him at times.

EEK - WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I wanted him to give up his feelings - his heightened senses. Then he could grow up and mature.

I got to thinking while he might lose those things - there would be so many more things he'd lose - in fact we'd all lose - that are so wonderful.

You know when he was a little - he didn't have so many fears. The older he's getting I've already seen him getting more fears. Some of his freedom to be himself is gone. Singing, dancing, things like that.

Am I sure I want him to grow up? Yes he would give up part of the silliness - but he would also give up his deep passion and fun loving part of life. And that part of him is just AMAZING!!!
He is one of the most wonderful and happy people I know.

So that when he's 50 - he can say - what happened to my life - where did all the living go?
Then he'll have to have a mid-life crisis to come back right back to this point!

Does this sort of happen to all of us? We turn 50 or 60 and we say - what happened?

Isn't that the mystery of life - moderation. A time to blend in AND a time to be yourself?

Sometimes it is okay to be ourselves. Not everyone has to like us all the time.


THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Love, Chatty

49 comments:

Jill said...

Beautifully said, Sandie. I know exactly what you mean and your dear grandson is so lucky to have a Grandma that knows, understands and loves him just for who he is. Wonderful!

ain't for city gals said...

Good post Sandie. Unfortunately these are the kids they say "have problems" and want to medicate. My sister has almost quit teaching because of this...she will not go along with it.

Sandra said...

agree completely. the noise level would bother me to, but before i got OLD i was ok with it. i think as we age it gets more difficult to deal with, or that is how it is with me. not just noisy children, but noise of any kind.

Rhonda said...

I loved going to the school to have lunch with my grandchildren. Yes the noise was incredibly loud and I thought each time I was visiting how do these teachers / employees do it every day???? but my grands were sooo very happy nana came to have lunch with them...a memory that will remain forever!

The Boston Lady said...

I remember those elementary school lunches. You were so wonderful to stay, he obviously likes to have you come. I'm with you for being yourself and not blending in. I hope GS keeps his uniqueness and let's it shine. What may set him apart a bit now will set him apart as an adult in the job pool. How boring if we all were alike and had the same interests and opinions. I would rather be around someone who isn't afraid to be themselves, even if I don't agree with them than a simple follower.

Every dog has it's day. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, ELLEN, OPRAH, and you Sandie! You! You speak what's on your mind and have inspired a large group of people! Ann

✿ⒹⒺⒺ✿@ A Lapin Life said...

Hi Sandie,

Sweet post! Every child is different and fear is natural. Your grandson will always have his fun loving self. It's better to be a leader than a follower :)

xo,
Dee

Jeanie said...

Your grandson is so lucky to have someone who understands him and is so willing to nurture all that is best about him.

Sally said...

Ah yes, I've been there too. But, wouldn't change a minute. Your GS is indeed fortunate to have you, Sandie. You touch his heart in your understanding. He's gonna be just fine. :)

Remington said...

You are an awesome grandmother! Love the pics!

SweetMarie said...

My son is now fifteen and I miss the days of going to school to have lunch with him and his classmates. He and his friends would tell me about their day. It was quite loud, but so much fun! I think the teen years is the hardest to be yourself. My son is going through that stage now of "moderation". Your grandson is so lucky to have you!
I love the smile on my face, already have it written down. The last pic of the dog and child is so true and precious!

HERE I AM KAYCEE said...

Oh Sandie, you had me in tears reading this post. Such sweet and wise words for the soul. You're amazing! Mega Hugs! Love you, love me.

laurie said...

I guess its all about balance, great post!

Beth said...

Being grandma is so much fun.... Love the pics!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

What cute pictures!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Sandie I know about children that walk to the beat of a different drummer! You are an amazing Grandma! hugs, Linda

Susan said...

Awwwwww, that was a cute post, Sandie. Loved those photos.

You are a dedicated, wonderful Grandma. Try not to worry about GS. He'll be okay. The world is big enough for a LOT of different kinds of people.

I know the natural inclination is to worry but he is surrounded by people who love him, people who advocate for him, and people who want him to acheive the highest of his potential. He cannot fail to do so.

Take care, dear Sandie. Susan

barbara l. hale said...

I understand just what you are saying. My daughter was like that when she was young. Now she is a mature and lovely young woman. But I am pretty sure neither of us could go back to having lunch in a school cafeteria. Yikes!

Cher' Shots said...

Great post ~ oh for the love of a child! Tip toeing outside our comfort zones in the name of love.
'hugs from afar'

Eva Ason said...

Great post - I love the pictures with the animals, very cute. Can imagine the lunch was rough. I love what you're doing for Andy, he can be lucky to have a grandma like you (((Hugs)))

Love,
Eva

Red Rose Alley said...

Yes, I have not only had the chance to go to lunch at an elementary school, I used to work in the lunch room supervising all the kids! It's a hard thing to do, and I only did it a few times when they needed someone. I really appreciate the ones that do it everyday. Your dog picture on your Header cracks me up!
~Sheri at Red Rose Alley

Thisisme. said...

hI Sandie. Another great post my friend. Loved the little animal photos, so cute. Andy is lucky to have a lovely grandma like you, although I can imagine it was quite hard with all that noise!! Sending hugs your way.

Lynn said...

It's hard to tell kids to embrace their lives. I wish I had appreciated youth more. :) Beautiful post - your grandson is lucky to have a grandmother like you.

Gloria Hood said...

Awe....I just love this post Sandie! I sure would have disliked the noisy kiddos too!

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

What an excellent grandmother you are! He will get more than enough prompts to "blend in" without the people who love him encouraging him to do so ... how wise you are to know that and to resist that urge (even though it was meant with the best of intentions). At 61, I still struggle with the temptation to "just blend in" ... I wish I had the strength to just be me.

Richters Victory said...

You are AWESOME! What a wonderful grandmother. Perfect post. Love the pics!

Just Stuff From a Boomer said...

I have had lunch with my Grandsons on Grandparent's Day and you are so right. The noise level is awful. It has got to have some sort of inpact on the little people.

My middle daughter and now one of my grandsons have been worriers all of their lives. Having an Aunt that understands him has helped Brett know he's not alone. Of course his Mom, knows what fears her sister faced so she is more informed than I was. They just need a lot of love and reasurance.

Walking on Sunshine... said...

That's a great way to put things into perspective! I remember one time having to go to Thanksgiving lunch with my son when he was in 1st grade in the cafeteria. AND I had the flu along with a 103 fever, but my son was so disappointed that when I told him I just couldn't make it and his dad was gone with the Army. So I put things into perspective and managed to make myself sit through a Thanksgiving lunch with all the noise and make him happy. He probably doesn't remember, but I do. Enjoy your day!

Jim said...

Nice post, Sandie. I do hope your GS will learn to just be himself. Like we say, learn to 'let it all hang out.'
..
I will be looking for more barn pictures. I like barns too!
..

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Sandie,

Lovely, thoughtful post. Your grandson is blessed to have such a perceptive grandma.

Hugs,
Susan

Ginny said...

It has been going on for ages, all kids and teenagers want to be like the rest and do what the others are doing. There are things that Ella does not like. But when I tell her that Anne Marie loves them, she quickly changes her mind.

A Quiet Corner said...

You are and always will be the BEST, Sandie!...:)JP

Shug said...

Would you believe that part of my job as the librarian at our elementary school, was a 20 min. lunch duty! something I dreaded every day....it wasn't the kids, it was the unbelievable noise!!!
Blending...I agree...

BelovedBomber said...

"Not everyone has to like us all the time" is a great word. So often we give up who we are to fit in! Thanks for sharing!

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Very good point, Sandie. Glad your GS marches to his own drummer!! And, his grandmother, too. ;) blessings ~ tanna

Shelly said...

Loved this post. And thank you for your kind words in Sweet Tea on FB.

jack69 said...

Such a reminder..... Our grandson lived with us for awhile. he was fro Utah. He was trying to get the southern accent.
I says, 'What are you doing?'
"Jest tryyying to Fiiit inn!". Oh well, I can imagine the cafeteria and the noise level would drive me bonkers. I did not attend the seniors at church tonight, because of the hearing problem./

Oh well, every human is different, Some require more or less than others.
Love from North Carolina.

rubyslipperz said...

OMGosh! I certainly laughed out loud at the "flappying faces" of the basset hounds running. When is it time to get a face lift??? what? and then, blend in with all of the 30 year olds? Yep, 60 is looking good...better than the alternative, right?

Noisy...yeah, it seems even tho my ears don't hear as well...noise bothers me more. But, is it me or is it the times? I don't remember the lunch room "back in the day" (late 50's) being as noisy as the lunch room at my grandson's was last year.

Sometimes blend, sometimes not...I don't think we should blend in just to make life easier...I don't think we should blend in at all...as long as we aren't being selfish while "standing out".

You are a great grandma, grandson is lucky to have you. It's important the all spirits feel special in their unique-ness. =)

hugZ,
annie (you know, CHATTY annie)

Paula said...

So nice of you to bite the bullet and go when your grandson ask you too. I haven't been to a school in years but I can imagine the noise level.

TARYTERRE said...

Your grandson deserves the right to be WHO he is. He shouldn't have to blend in. I was bullied as a child because I marched to the beat of my own drummer. It is very sad when kids can NOT be themselves. Grandma you did GOOD being there for him at lunch. LOVE those bunnies and cats.Take care.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi Sandie, My life kinda worked in reverse... I went through life doing everything for everyone else---working a million hours a week, raising my kids as a single parent, and just allowing life to pass me by...

After I met George at age 59, I became ME... I had a life ---for ME... My life began!!!!! Life is so good for me now---and I cannot say that it was good when I was younger...

When I look back on my life, I would do things differently if I could do it all again... Oh Well!!!

The best thing you and your daughter can do is to encourage your grandson to be himself ---and to be the best of what he can be as himself...

Hugs,
Betsy

That corgi :) said...

I think it is neat you went and had lunch with your GS, Sandie, and so glad you were able to work through your thoughts if you really want him to "blend in" or "go with the flow" if it means losing who he is in the process. I think he will make a wonderful niche some place and do well with his life because of the great support he has at home with you, his grandfather and his mom all on his side for him to do the best he can!

betty

Simone said...

Working as a secretary for an elementary school, I had the privilege of being invited to have lunch with different students. As much as I was touched to be spending time with the kids, the food was nasty and the noise was unbearable. I totally understand how difficult it must be for your grandson after being overstimulated by the noise. There are some great teachers that understand each kid's individual needs but it sure is hard when the student moves on to a different teacher. You are so very perspective!!

Grandma Bonnie said...

I have been to those school lunches. I am with you the noise level is a lot for my ears. I hope your grandson stays young a while longer. I watched as my children lost that individuality it was painful for me. I still think back when my oldest was outgoing he never blended in. Now I feel like he is toning his personality down to match others.

Nancy Claeys said...

Your post came at a very crucial time for me, Sandie.

You put it so beautifully -- it's often a struggle to decide when to turn it off -- so others don't become "offended."

Thank you, dear. Great food for thought.

Arkansas Patti said...

Well done and thoughtful post. It is refreshing to see someone with your perspective instead of a ready hand with a pill to make everything "the same". Kudos.

Granny Annie said...

What a boring world this would be if we were all exactly the same.

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

This is a great post, Sandie. Sorry I missed it yesterday, but I wasn't home much.

I remember when I was very young, I wanted to blend in and was never very successful at it. When I got older, I realized I was better off just being myself! We should all march to the tune of our own drum, not others. I hope your sweet grandson is always such a happy person! And you are such a wise and wonderful grandmother!

I love your last line about not everyone has to like us all the time. So true!

And about that noise level, I remember when my kids were young that even then it wasn't so noisy as I hear it is today. What's up with that? Well, in this old gal's opinion, it all falls back on the lack of discipline. They can't do much without crossing the lines these days, so kids pretty much do whatever they want to. And a meek little 'quiet down' just doesn't mean anything to them.

Ann said...

Yes, I've done the lunch at school thing. CRAZY....lol

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Very touching post Sandie. Your right, you wouldn't want him to give up anything that he feels.
I lost my happiness along the way and now that I'm 60 that is exactly what I am thinking: WHAT HAPPENED!