I think it goes along this concept. As and ex-teacher of sorts I know for a fact that there is a certain time in a child's life to learn certain things. There is a 1st.,2nd., etc curriculum - certain things are taught at certain peak times. For example if you teach geometry in 1st. grade - it would be a waste of time. They're not ready, they need to know the basics like addition first. However, if you don't teach addition in first grade and what until senior year of high school you'd never be able to do the geometry.
You'd have to get help from someone. You'd have to go back to the beginning, then spend several years trying to make up for lost time. Then maybe you would learn how to do geometry and even go on past geometry to calculus, but it would be hard and while you'd try not to think of not learning addition when you're supposed too, sometimes that memory creeps in and for a minute you may feel sad, but then you know you have to go on. That everything is well, different for you, it's still okay.
I think that is the same for internal learning as well. Self esteem, self love, being positive, learning to take care of yourself, and so on. These are things children are supposed to learn. Just like they learn about God is loving. I was control by being told about how mad God would be at me if I didn't do what they asked. Had to relearn that God was love too.
Now I'm not asking for anything here, I'm just trying to help others if they feel the same way I did. This was easy to write, but if I can help someone, then that's great.
I want you to know there is hope out there to change for the better.
You ever hear about horse whisperers and how they help the animals stay calm and focused? I'm a Chatty whisperer now. I just keep on telling myself positive things daily. I have a grateful journal that I have kept daily for years. I pray. I meditate. I talk to friends. I keep busy. I'm trying to learn more at all times. It works. AM I the person I would have been had things been different? NO. But, maybe I'm better than I would have been, how do I know? This I know, I differently have inner strength, unequaled to almost anyone else I know.
I'm feeling much better after letting that out!