One for the girls - The Mommy Test:
I was out walking with my 3 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, and you don't know where it's been. It's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
Press One for English
One for the guys:
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, 'Don't you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
Satan asked, 'Aren't you afraid of me?'
'Nope, sure ain't,' said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for over 38 years.'
'The Last Dollar" by Tim McGraw
Turn your sound up, stand up, and dance!
Have a GREAT day! Chatty