Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said,'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For Â£10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!'
'You're on!' said the other old lady, holding up a Â£10 note.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and,completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.
'I won 1st prize as 'Best Dried Arrangement'.
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one
is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze
our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra,
stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a
few days to exchange notes..
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a
black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love
you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and
mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a
word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
*"What's for dinner, Zorro?"*
1st woman: Hi! Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
Happy Birthday Kenny G - wikipedia
Kenny G was born in Seattle, Washington to a Jewish family and first came into contact with a saxophone when he heard someone performing with one on The Ed Sullivan Show. He started playing the saxophone in 1966 when he was 10 years old. He learned how to play under the direction of local trumpeter Gerald Pfister and by practicing along with records (mostly of Grover Washington, Jr.), trying to emulate the sounds that he was hearing. His first saxophone was a Buffet Crampon alto.
Kenny G attended Whitworth Elementary School, Sharples-Jr High School, Franklin High School, and the University of Washington, all in his home town of Seattle, Washington. When he entered high school, he failed on his first try to get into the jazz band, but tried again the following year and earned first chair. In addition to his studies while in high school, he took private lessons on the saxophone and clarinet from Johnny Jessen, once a week for a year.