Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.

 

THE REASON TO LOVE OLD WOMEN.......

She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gun slinger and said, “No, I never did dance,…never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gun slinger grinned and said,"Well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now,” and started shooting at the woman’s feet.

The old woman prospector – not wanting to get her toe blown off – started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered, his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands, as she quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s butt? The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No Mam…but…I’ve always wanted to.”

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Thanks Jerry at Asthecrackerheadcrumbles

 

Grandma's boyfriend

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,

'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.

I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.

The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh

... I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.

She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.

Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.


The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

The minister fainted.
Thank you Kim.

We should live to 94, know who we are, and (energetically) dance for 2 minutes

Mathilda Klein - age 94 Click here: Mathilda's Solo - YouTube

Thank you Monica

Wouldn't this be fun - I would love to be the one at the end........flying.....

Yawning and stretching.

Thanks Sharon for all the cute pics.

THE LAUGH:

THE LIFT:

I am having a garage sale today and tomorrow.  I've been getting it ready all week - so you know the drill - I'm late, but I will be there!

Sunday - my gift to you.

Set back and get blown away with the music , the words, and the meaning of all of it. Do you know what an Angel Plane is? This will certainly move you today.



The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.' - Billy Graham

Love,
Chatty

A man may study because his brain is hungry for knowledge, even Bible knowledge. But he prays because his soul is hungry for God.
- Leonard Ravenhill

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends . . .

Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still.

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2-1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach water is the toilet?
(Thanks Monica.)

WICOE
(Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place Instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -
Open forum


DAY TWO -

EMPTY MILK CARTONS;
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH;
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT;
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
(Thanks Jerry)


Click on link below: The Yankee or Dixie quiz (Thanks Sharon)

Now I need your report back to tell me if you are a Yankee or a Dixie -





AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT AUGUST 2010.

This August has 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays, 5 Tuesdays, all in one month.

It happens once in 823 years. We will probably miss it next time
(Thanks Monica)

Birthday Clock

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that? This is cool. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. This is neat. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking.... Click this: Birthday Calculator
(Thank you Sharon).

Theft Problem -- IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck I decided to tell my story.

Women of the worldwake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX!!! This is happening to women everywhere every night!

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
(Thanks Karen)

FINALLY..THE BLONDE JOKE TO END
ALL BLONDE JOKES


A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'




"Laughter is the tonic, the relief, and the surcease for pain." ~ Charlie Chaplin>

"Life is too short to spend what precious time you have alive being unhappy." ~ Bruce Willis


HAVE FUN TODAY Y'ALL

Sandie

Who noticed anything with the pictures? Something they all have in common?

Thursday - Sea World Continued

It takes A LOT to get me mad and even more to get me riled up and even more to lose control - but I almost did at Sea World.

It was hot, very hot and I don't like the heat all that much, and then of course there was the stress of the GS and Daughter deciding where to eat. One wants one thing and the other wants another - the story of my life - but that's a whole other issue. I'm the peace maker. I'll go anywhere - I can find something I want at most places. And then it was slightly crowded - I think a lot of locals go to see it as much as people from other places.

So we were going to go eat at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. Everywhere there you got in line and then ordered what you wanted and then it was brought to the table for you to eat. My daughter sent the GS in to the restaurant itself to get a table. Well the GS kept just hesitating long enough where people were getting the table before him. Now we were all stressed and my daughter was getting mad. So I left the line to go down the empty line on the other side.



YES, I know one was in to order and out for people to leave - dah. There were no marked signs mind you. It was just going to be easier for me to go help the GS.

I started in and all of a sudden, this 30 something young girl pushing a baby in her stroller, her husband behind her - actually and literally rammed the stroller into me. I had sandals on and it hurt my toes. I said, "Ouch, that hurt. You're stroller ran over my toes". Do you know what she told me? "That is your problem lady, you're going down the wrong way.)

Says who I wondered.

I said, "I'm trying to get to my grandson over there crying."

She said, "She didn't give a hoot, that was my problem and to go down the other line." She proceeded on and pushed me right out of the way. I almost fell.

Now I never do this - never, but I was so mad I told her she was a B-tch. I'm sorry for it and like I say I don't talk like that, but I was so aghast. Her husband said nothing. Now I don't know what was wrong with me that day, but if she had said one more thing to me or hurt me again I was going to slug her!

Can you believe old Chatty is that mean?

Well, my daughter heard and when we sat down we just laughed and laughed and laughed. Probably to get over the stress. It was so sad to see a young mother talk to an old grandma this way. And not too good of Chatty either.

I had to make a choice to let it go or it would have ruined my whole day. Now I do think it was kind of funny and I do feel kind of good sticking up for myself.

Has anything like this happened to you and what did you do about it?

Love,
Sandie

"There is in every woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."~ Washington Irving

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place," he once explained.

Wednesday - Sea World

Sunday we went to Sea World - this was not a Disney event, but we had always wanted to see it. It had many different kinds of animals - not just the killer whale - but these pictures will be the killer whales. Remember the poor girl who got killed about a year ago as he grabbed her braid running down the back of her head and pulled her in the water and drowned her?
Well these girls had their hair in buns - no long hair at all down the backs.

The Killer whale is the largest fish in the sea! And it is king of all others!



They had them trained very nicely we thought.



The trainers would give little talks and information to the crowd.



Grandson and daughter taking pictures. It was so hot, but we were having a good time anyway.



We were in the soak zone and it had a covered roof and I wondered how in the world we were going to get wet!



Well, we did get a little sprinkled - not much, but when you have three huge whales splash at the same time - you do get a little splash and it felt great.



Here they showing us how big they were.



And this is my grandson's first purchase. We held him off all we could, but when he has money in his pocket - it burns a hole in it. Ten dollars and lights up. Now he knew he needed it - but where is it now?

"Don't take yourself seriously. Take what you do seriously, and find the humor in as much of life as you can." ~ Ben Affleck



"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of the telescope. Which is what I do. And that enables you to laugh at life's realities." ~ Dr. Seuss

I have to tell you my GS has a great sense of humor!

Love,
sandie

Thought of the Day: Dance like a tree in the wind. - Barbara Ann Kipfer
(That way we won't break when adversity does come - and you know it will at sometime or another - you'll be ready.)

Tuesdays Show and Tail

Let us all join Angela at West Virginia Treasures on her fifty-first SHOW AND TAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's a wonderful gal and a good friend. All you have to do is talk about your pets, some interesting facts, or something wonderful about bugs like I did here.

In the spirit of staying on the vacation to Orlando - we ran or shall I say they ran into us every where. What? LOVE BUGS! Really. Two bugs attached together - all the time - and do everything together - by choice.



'Lovebugs' are small black flies with red thoraxes. Males are 1/4 inch, and females are 1/3 inch in length. These flies are members of the family Bibionidae and are known as March flies. Several species of March flies are native to Florida, however, Lovebugs, Plecia nearctica Hardy are recent invaders from the west.



Southern Louisiana experienced flights of lovebugs during the 1920's. The species was described by Hardy in 1940 from specimens collected in Mississippi. First reports of their presence in Florida were made in 1947 from Escambia County. Subsequent reports indicate their presence in Leon County in 1955-56 and Alachua - Marion Counties in 1964-65.



Since that time, flights have progressively moved southward. In 1974, specimens were collected in Homestead. Lovebugs also have moved northward and have been reported from Georgia and Charleston, South Carolina. Two flights of lovebugs occur each year. The spring flight occurs during late April and May. A second flight occurs during late August and September. Flights extend over periods of 4 to 5 weeks. Mating takes place almost immediately after emergence of the females. Adult females live only 2-3 days.



And I mean they were every where - together.

Love,
Chatty

I can't get this embedded but it is cute - a dog and his master praying.

http://www.godtube.com/featured/video/dog-saying-grace

Thought for the day:

Keep a green tree alive in your heart and a songbird may come to sing there.

- Chinese Proverb

Monday Musings

I apologize in advance for the next week or so - I'm going to be showing pictures of the family vacation and I know it's not every body's thing - sorry. My daughter, grandson, and my self went to Orlando for a week - you won't see pictures of me though as I'm the one who was taking the pictures

I have one trip left this year - and it will be in November to Cincinnati, Ohio. To see or meet my new grandson. I'm very excited.

That reminds me - remember to take care of the world for our children! "One must care about a world one will never see." - Bertrand Russell

We left on Saturday the 18th. Now we have had this trip planned for a long time. My daughter has a Disney credit card and we both put everything on the credit card and then pay at the end of the month. No service charges. We had been doing this for two years and finally had a couple thousands of points. That paid for our way into Disney, our food at Disney, and the souvenirs at Disney. We had enough Sheraton points through our other credit card for the hotel. So we had gas which my daughter paid, parking which I paid, and for things outside of Disney - so it was a great deal for us. No, not free, but reasonable.

The Sheraton Safari Hotel - not on the property, but extremely close.

The trip down went faster then we imagined. Now I am a bad driver. I get sleepy when I ride long distances in the car. I did drive half way but was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open - and I went in another lane - praise God we were okay! My daughter took over. Now the best traveler of the group and always has been in the GS.

Got in around 6pm - checked in - and ate at the hotel's restaurant - which to be honest was so so. We unpacked and went swimming. It was so wonderful and so refreshing.

The pool had the longest python snake slide in the world - teehee.

Now the nice thing about Florida is it does cool at night.
The bad thing about Florida is it is hot - and do I mean hot.
Another good thing was it was not crowded at all this time of year. It is the first year we have had something called fall break in the school system and it was awesome.

Have I bored you to death yet? Just setting the scene.

Love,
Sandie

And for us having rain today - very needed rain and cooler temperatures:
"Every day is a good day to be alive, whether the sun's shining or not." ~ Marty Robbins

"A rainy day is the perfect time for a walk in the woods." ~ Rachel Carson
When I was younger I went out and played in the rain - I went barefoot in the gutters that had a stream of water going to the drain. It was so much fun - then we grow up and don't do it anymore -
- then we come to the golden years and we want to play in the rain again.

This is a beautiful video - about our Magnificent World given to us by God.
http://www.andiesisle.com/creation/magnificent.html
How can we ever say there is no God - I believe!

Love,
sandie

We have been given God in our souls and Christ in our flesh. We have the power to believe where others deny, to hope where others despair, to love where others hurt. - Brennan Manning, "The Ragamuffin Gospel"


If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the sea.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Saturday Meditations - something to think about . . .

I'M BACK!

Feel that you have enough, and your sense of hunger will diminish. - Barbara Ann Kipfer



The secret art of inviting happiness The miraculous medicine of all diseases.


Just for today, do not anger.

Do not worry and be filled with gratitude.

Devote yourself to your work.

Be kind to people.

Every morning and evening, join your hands in prayer.






Love,

Sandie



Some thoughts to think about:

Without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson



Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with the truth.
- Thich Nhat Hanh