For 2014
Joy is the serious business of Heaven.
C.S. Lewis

Friday, December 14, 2012

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.

“Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.”
Josh Billings (1818-1885)








LAST TRIP TO THAT STORE!

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries,
the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note so I could complain to our congressman
about this running amok Homeland Security crap,
I did just as he had instructed.
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided,
I found out that he was referring to how I should position my credit card.

None the less , I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
Darn it, they need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors...

A BAD SENIOR MOMENT

Thank you Joe.

1.


2.


I'm dreaming of a red Christmas and fitting into one of those dresses (well I said dreaming) - which one is your favorite?  I think I like number 1 the best.




My Christmas Nails
My Christmas Shoes

So do I have good taste or what???



Your First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish..........
  A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,
"I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. 
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says.  "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her". 
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".  
She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing,  DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way." 
  






        A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
        The husband picks up a case of Miller Lite and puts it in their    cart.

            'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
            'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies.
            'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife,  and so they carry on shopping.
            A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

            What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
            'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
            Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price.'

            HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7
Thank you Debby at Just Breathe.







 
Seven Stages of Sickness for Married Couples
 
1ST YEAR: The husband says, "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from Tosini's. I've already arranged it with the head nurse."
 
2ND YEAR: "Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"
 
3RD YEAR: "Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something--do we have any canned soup around here?"
 
4TH YEAR: "No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!"
 
5TH YEAR: "Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"
 
6TH YEAR: "You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!"
 
7TH YEAR: "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."
 Chris from Laugh and Lift via Calamity Jane.



Well, my tree is up - took lots of effort but it looks great, huh?

Don't you love the smell of pine!!






THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:




x_3d44dddf



48 comments:

Remington said...

Great post! Have a fun weekend!

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Don't laugh, but I do have those pine scented air fresheners on my little fake tree. I have pine scented stuff to spray too. I sure do miss the smell of fresh pine. Hope you have a fantastic Friday!

Marti said...

Thanks for the smiles. Think I will use the tree idea.

Dee @ A Lapin Life said...

Super great jokes! You can always make me smile Sandie :)

xo,
Dee

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

My favorite is the 1st dress - I'd love to fit into either one as well.

Your Christmas nails are so cute ... but those shoes ... no way I could wear those shoes! ;-)

I'm trying to decide which of those jokes is the funniest ... cannot decide, so I'm enjoying them all! ;-)

Cranberry Morning said...

Such fun, Sandie!! LOVED the Scotland story. Maybe we should try that. lol And the red dress? I like the first photo better. And love those shoes. Haven't worn heels for years (my back screams when I'm just looking at the photo!)but I love the look! Have a great weekend.♥

Sandra said...

i like the first dress and the shoes, of course when i imagine either dress on me i can't get up off the floor from laughing.

i close with a question. what is calm and serene? lol

BelovedBomber said...

Cracking up at the marriage progression thing...I am so terrible about sickness...not the most sympathetic. I also would choose the same dress as you if my body looked like that...the second one is a little too much for public showing lol. Many blessings this weekend!

Gloria Hood said...

HEHEHEHE! Great post! I would choose #2! I like the idea of showing some leg! lol

BlueRidge Boomer said...

Love your tree...! Think i'll get one just like it...
Enjoy

Ruth Kelly said...

I would pick red dress #1. Wouldn't that be fun to wear just once in a life time!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

The credit card joke made me literally laugh out loud here at work :)

Pondside said...

Thank you, thank you! What a way to head out to work!!!!

LL Cool Joe said...

I read that Scottish joke somewhere before and thought it was very funny! I could see it coming, but it was still funny. :D

renae said...

Sandie! morning! nice thoughts, ideas and funnies today. yay! i love your friday funnies. keep 'um comin'.

jack69 said...

Side bar pictures are great. Enjoyed the laughs and you are looking great in the red dress and heels.

WE are off for 7 days of cruising. Will miss the group, but WE WILL suffer thru it. (smile)
HUgs from Orlando.....

Wanda's Wings said...

Always good for a smile!

barbara l. hale said...

Lots of good laughs today. Thanks! BTW, wanted to make sure that you know that you can get those photo corners by logging onto www.picmonkey.com. They are under the frames tab.

TexWisGirl said...

my kinda christmas tree. :)

Jackie said...

Loved each one of these!
Thank you for the abundant smiles!

Marydon said...

I'm here, but not here. Struggling. Love this post ...needed a smile today.

TTFN ~
Hugs,
Marydon

Betty Manousos said...

love all of these, especially your xmas tree!!
lots of good laughs today.
thanks dearest!

big hugs.

barbara woods said...

you always make me laugh merry christmas

Walking on Sunshine said...

These are so funny! I'm sharing the first one on my Walking on Sunshine Facebook Page later this afternoon! I like the first red dress also!

The Boston Lady said...

The Scottish one is my favorite! Will keep that in mind for future use... Ann

Cheri said...

That trip to the store story was funny...the other ones I have read before. I like dress #1 too, very pretty and I love red. Are those really your nails?

Ms. A said...

Last trip to the store is hysterical! Love it!

Ginny said...

I love the FIRST red dress and the nails!!! Nice to know I don't have to strip when I charge groceries! It DOES get so cold in the grocery stores!!

Linda Primmer said...

Hilarious! That brings a big smile to my face. Thank you for sharing some awesome humor. I love both dresses, but there is someone so elegant about dress #1.

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Husband Down-Aisle 7... Love it! Thanks for the chuckles, have a great weekend:@)

Dolores said...

You've lifted me up AGAIN with these cute jokes, I love all of them.......
Have a fun weekend...

Blondee said...

You are always good for s smile or a giggle. I just love that about you. My heart needed it today. God bless.

Ann said...

Well your Christmas outfit is quite fabulous :) I think I like the second dress and I sure wish I was built like that.

Merlesworld said...

I always get a laugh out of your posts, love the red dress wish I could wear it and the shoes but that is well in the past now.
Merle.....

nancygrayce said...

You make me laugh out loud.....and this is a good day for that!

Michaele said...

Great post Chatty. Love the last quote too. It needs to be my mantra.

Sharon said...

As always, Sandie, you have provided me with a hearty belly laugh!

As for the red dress - yes, I like #1 the best, too. However, I would like to LOOK like #2...just sayin'

Sickness for Married Couples?
8th Year - Wife calls home from the hospital ER with pneumonia. Husband answers, "You were sick??"

xo

That corgi :) said...

My gosh if I wore those shoes I'd trip all over the place, LOL :) My days of wearing heels that high are definitely over! I do like dress #1 myself too! Thanks for the laughs today, Sandie; hard day to laugh but we will continue praying.

betty

Maggie Ann said...

Sandie, this post is the funniest ever....I howled with laughter. Thanks so much for the fun. =)

Granny Annie said...

You definitely got the laughter with this one. I even had to laugh at the "calm and serene" because for me that will be the day! LOL

HOOTIN ANNI said...

Laughter, the fireworks of the soul...I like that. And the red gowns? I'll take #2 for $100 Alex. Wishing I had a figure like that. LOL

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I would not be able to walk in those shoes! Whew!

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

I want dress #2 AND the shoes!! LOL! Okay, if we are going to dream, we might as well dream BIG!! LOL! hugs ~ t.

Sarah (Nikki) said...

My absolute favorite is Joe's strip and face me. that's so funny. And so are you Chatty girl. You know...you always brighten my world a little each week. Hugs to you. Hope your Saturday is awesome

Elizabeth Munzert said...

I love your Christmas tree. Maybe I'll put up one just like it next year.
I vote for dress #2, because that glimpse (or more) of leg balances all that cleavage.
I am in love with the shoes.

Munir said...

Thank you for the jokes. We needed a break

Julie Hargreaves said...

The surfing santa is brilliant

Daisy said...

Ha! Thanks for all the smiles here. :D