For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, March 01, 2013

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.








A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says.
'This is a special day for me..... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man.. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different rooster,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'
Thank you Linda B.
 


 



Okay the following are from Sharon and Fran - I thought they were so cute!








Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, You are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run --Anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,'Did I wake you?'

5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left To learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now will Never wear out.

8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex But not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments About pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits As a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold  Your stomach in no matter who walks Into the room.

13. You sing along With elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get Much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance Is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists Than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends Because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to A manageable size.

19. You can't remember Who sent you this list.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,Under any circumstances,  Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on
The same night!

 (Thank you Jean)

 









 


The Things I Owe My Parents!

1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning."

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My Parents taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


25. My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Thank you Kelly
























kelly


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:


Laughter . . .
"Laughter! I live by the motto "Don't take it serious, life's too mysterious!" Stress is a beauty robber. We all have so much stress and it wears on us. Beauty surely begins front the inside out. I have faith that things will work out, and laughter helps me to put things in perspective. When you laugh, you lighten the load-and it shows."    Sue Arendt.


 



I want to thank all of you for those wonderful birthday wishes yesterday. And yes, I will answer all of you - but I will be a little late. Thinking of taking a nap today!
I am such a lucky and blessed person!
THANKS.

45 comments:

Shelly said...

All of these are wonderful! I have a smile on my face and laughter in my heart~

Granny Annie said...

Is there a better place to be on Friday than at Chatty Crone's? I don't think so:)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Thank you for the snowman-laughs :) happy Friday and happy March 1st!!

Theresa said...

Oh what a funny post! I always enjoy getting my giggles:) with you! Love the bar joke! SOOOOO funny! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

I love starting off my day with a little (or a lot) of humor. Thank you! Have a great day and enjoy your nap. :)

jack69 said...

That must be the best collection of snowmen/snowwomen I have ever seen. Neat.
Now I am not sure of you over-70 list, re: the one of glasses and sex! LOL
Great read. THANKS for the laughs,i.e. the chickens and laughter!
(((HUGS)))

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Snowmen and chickens today. Gotta love it.

Debbie said...

I just love Fun Friday, and I'm thrilled to have a bit more time to enjoy it this week.

My all time favorite for some reason was the "coal digger" one. I loved the boob job ones too.

And #12 on that first list describes me these days. I think the man who invented elastic for waists deserves a Nobel prize!

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

Happy Happy Happy Friday!! You should probably rest up after all that celebrating you did yesterday! HA HA

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

Welcome to my world. The world of an afternoon nap!

Along These Lines ..... said...

You can't beat chicken jokes. Thanks for all the chuckles.

Beth said...

I feel old too! LOL

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

What a great post...I was laughing at quite a few of those snowmen jokes and I copied the jingle about the weather. The truths about getting older were mostly true but still I find my self still learning ... Hope you have your nap and have a fantastic Friday!!!

TexWisGirl said...

stress and worry age me every day. i have a hard time shedding that.

loved the 'working out', the snowcat, and the 'my parents taught me'. :)

Linda said...

You are a CRAZY lady and we love you for it!!! Louis Dean and I are drying our eyes - we laughed so much we cried!!!!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I read the one's about being older to my Mom and we both laughed out loud!!
hugs, Linda

Dee said...

So many chuckles today....the car with the stick figures drawn on the window is cool...I may try this LOL..I also laughed at the fat cat snowman and guess what...I like a sing to elevator music :)

Tricia Buice said...

Laughing all the way through - and hope you did have a wonderful, happy birthday and a fantastic nap! Have a lovely weekend. So funny - really, really funny - thanks for the smiles.

Sandra said...

love all the old people stuff, truly me and i eat at 5 not 4

Jackie said...

What a pleasure to come here and enjoy your postings! Love LOVE the snowmen (women) ones the best!!
Made my week!!!!

Mark Noce said...

Wow, funny clips:) I especially like how you're gearing up for St. Patrick's Day. My mom's side is Irish so it's pretty much St. Pat's day all year round for them:) Cool blog!

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Sandie, I think this may be one of the funniest Fun Friday's ever! I laughed hard over the Parents one. I'm quite sure I've said about all of those to my kids at one time or another!! LOL! And the perks about aging are sooo true! The snowmen cartoons made me laugh, too. Thanks for the chuckles, and have a good nap! I'm going to nap today myself. Have a great weekend.

Betsy Adams said...

SNOW JOB, huh???? ha ha ha

Love the one about the Coincidence... Cute!!!

AND--I laughed at the laxative/sleeping pill one.

Hugs,
Betsy

Beth @ E. lizard Breath Speaks said...

i love snow men & women - can you imagine??!!?? - what a hard life. & cold too! ( :

sparkle100-havealook.blogspot.com said...

Love my Chatty Girl.

Sandie you are a Ray Of Sunshine!

I try to come here as best I can.

You always make me laugh.

Grandma Bonnie said...

I just love "The Things I Owe My Parents!" So funny I had a good laugh!! Thanks for the lift.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Love all the snowman jokes!
Have a great weekend.
Debby

barbara woods said...

love it!!!!!

The Brown Recluse said...

Since I'm officially "pushing 50," I'm kinda looking forward to some of the things on that list.

Y'all must have snow in the forecast in GA? haha

barbara l. hale said...

Those snowmen cartoons are such a hoot! Who knew they could be so funny?? Thanks for the chuckles!

Bev said...

hahaha love the rooster one:)

Merlesworld said...

What a hoot I do enjoy your blog so funny, I can relate to passing the 50's milestone you are treated like old fool whose brain has been fried in butter mainly by your children and I have told then all those thing at least once so glad i taught them something.
Merle.........

Ann said...

These are all great but I think my favorite is the snow cat.

Paula said...

Thanks for the snowmen jokes. They are especially cute to me since we never get to make one.

Cass @ That Old House said...

Thanks for the giggles!
You are a gem.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.
And many more.
Cass

peggy said...

love, love, love the snowmen cartoons. Gosh I missed your birthday so sorry, have a happy year!

nancygrayce said...

These all made me laugh out loud and I needed that!

Cranberry Morning said...

Thanks so much, Sandie, for the fun laughs. Sorry I've been MIA, but it's just been such a looooong winter! Hope you have a great weekend. You got mine off to a great start - thanks. :-)

Jill said...

Snow cone stand! LOL! Snowman working out...so funny! So many of these cracked me up tday!

Sue said...

love the one about 9:00a.m. and 9:00p.m......we always get calls at 9:00 in the morning and the Boss gets highly insulted that people are calling him that early and waking him...I had to explain to him about the 9 to 9 rule...no calls before and no calls after...everything in between is fair game....

Susan said...

Hahahahaha Those were great, Sandie. Oh, the snowman jokes were hysterical...especially the one about the snow job and the other one with the rebellious "multi-carroted" teenager. ha hahahahaha Good ones!

Well, how does it feel to be in a new age category? Now you are a seasoned delight! Susan

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I love all the snowmen!
Happy Friday!
love
tweedles

Susannah said...

Hello Miss Chatty...I must say you get better and better. The snowmen jokes have made my day!

Have a wonderful weekend,
Susannah

SweetMarie said...

You've got me laughing so hard! From beginning to end, hilarious! I've got to show all of these to hubby and I will then crack up with him. :) Love it! And thank you!

Betty Manousos said...

those were great, sandie!
literally made me lol.the snowmen cartoon are such a hoot.
thanks for the good laugh:))