For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, October 06, 2006

What terror lucks in the hearts of men? Only the Shadow knows...

Why am I Blogging? A middle aged housewife, whose already raised her kids and is now helping raise a grandchild...

I think for a couple of reasons:

I do have a lot of good friends, some I'd call more acquaintances than friends, but can someone ever have too many friends? I kind of hate to admit this, but I think one reason I'm writing this Blog is because I'm a little lonely. I'm looking for something that's missing in my life and I just can't quite put my finger on what it is. Oh well, I'm hoping to be able to 'talk' to others in the same situation as myself. I feel it's harder to find new friends when you're older, especially when you're a 'stay at home grandma'. I don't fit in exactly with the young mothers and yet I don't fit in with the typical grandma set or older women who can just get up and go places, because I still have a young one to take care of (joyfully). I think the computer and the cell phone have reeked havoc on communication and meeting people - yet here I am on the computer. An oxymoron. I walk through the grocery store and I see people talking, I used to think they were saying hello to me, but they were talking to someone on their cell phone (now their Blue Tooth)! My grandfather, born in 1890, if he were alive, he'd be shocked at the world today. I miss communicating with people - real communication. So while I have a great set of friends and support (so friends if you read this please understand), I still do get lonely at times.

The second reason is because this has been a challenge for me. It has taken me all week to get a counter installed! I love a good challenge and I rarely use the word 'can't'. A friend of mine has one and I had to see if I could do it myself. Plus I wanted to see just what he got out of it. He writes on his Blog(computer) more than me(a real person) and much deeper! I've given that some thought - maybe computers are 'safer' than real people. It's real people, once removed. And what about the games on the computer - they take so much time out of one's life - why do people give up so much of their 'life' time? Maybe their lonely too and filling a void. We all fill up our voids in different ways (eating, drinking, drugs, I have one friend addicted to talking on the phone constantly, exercise junkies, computers, sports, reading, television, 'My Space', etc. - anything that's done to an excess and not in moderation - are we all filling voids and numbing ourselves at the same time?).

Thirdly it's a place where I can be myself, but not be myself. It's like your shadow side and your safe side can both come out and it's safe (?). There are very few places you can be normal and crazy at the same time - what a wonderful feeling.

Love, Chatty

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