For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What is living correctly? Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are. -Houssaye

This is Biblical as well. God wants you to love him first, to me that's a given, but I ask you, what's second in your life after God? What should be second after religion?

Is it getting yourself together so you can be a better person on earth? I think so, for me at least. Getting relationships in order with family and friends. Helping others. Doing good things. Then of course there is love. Feelings- feeling the world, feeling love from others, feeling the earth... Giving something back to the world...

One of my problems I will admit, is that I not only think that is true, I tend to think it true for others. And gosh, I hate to admit this, I have trouble when people around me don't try to improve themselves. They settle for less than best yet they are always complaining and unhappy. I mean we all need improvements, but they settle for their what shall I say, their inadequacies. Not only do they settle for them, they hide from them.

They hide themselves in study, they hide themselves in books, they hide themselves in work, on the internet, hobbies, exercise, and so forth. Am I saying these things are bad, no. What I'm saying is moderation. If any of these things come before living and loving others, on a continual basis - something is wrong. Something is wrong with the soul itself.

These people are afraid to pull their real selfs out into the open and look at themselves in the sun. Fully naked and say - this is who I am. Can I improve myself? Do I hurt other people with my actions? Am I complete?

You cannot change unless you are willing to look at yourself in the light. If you are not in the light then you are in the dark. The dark is not a good place to stay in, at least for me. Now I never say not to get in touch with our shadow side, I think we should embrace it and learn from it. Stay there, no.

I have so many questions I'd love to find out others opinions. Does anyone even understnad this?

For example, can a doctor, someone who has devoted their life to the service of other people, yet neglects their own oxymoron?

What about the Christain, who is always swearing and angry...?

What about the 'yes but' kind of people I wrote about before...who never take responsibility for themselves or their actions...but always blame others?

What about bullies who put people down to make themselves feel better...?

I find it somewhat hard to live with others who are that way because I always have to be on guard ... I'd love to be in a place that felt safe...where you could just be with others who kind of feel the same...and breath. At least a vacation would be refreshing.

However, thinking about it, that would be the easy way out of life. The life without the challenges. Aren't the challenges the very things we need in life so we are challenged to grow?

Life is so complicated and confusing at times.

Am I hippocritical? I have a hard time accepting people who want to stay miserabe and unhappy. I mean I get unhappy and miserable, I cry, but then, there is joy. I make sure that I put joy in my life. I have struggled so much in my life to get to the place where I am today. When I see people settling or saying I can't, I just don't believe them.

Life is a journey not a destination. We are always going to be a work in progress until the day we die.

I've come full circle and I am confused as ever.

Peace and love,

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