Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The road is never long between friends.
Is that true? And if that's true, is it always true?
If the road between friends is long does that mean you're really not friends at all?
I've been thinking about friendships lately - the year being new and all and I'm trying to be really honest with myself about one of my friends.
I know someone that I think or thought of, as a very good friend. I'm slowly beginning to let myself see this relationship is one sided. My side.
I have an old friend that I haven't seen in years. I guess you could now call this person a pen pal. I'll probably never see this person again and I'll probably never talk to this person again. Therefore, I rely on emails and forwards, but even in that, there's not too much writing and bantering back and forth. Part of me says to give up. Yet somehow I feel like kindred spirits with this person, but how can that be? Doesn't being a kindred spirit have to work both ways?
I'm confused. I'm sad. I'm angry. I've never really had a 'friend' like this before. Now I have other friends on the Internet (the Internet does have it goods points) that I'll never probably never see again, but we write as though we're best friends. If we did see each other again, it would be like we hadn't missed a beat in time. I know we'd pick up exactly where we left off. I'd give them the shirt off my back. I trust them, I know them, I like them and the feelings are returned. I assume this is because we had a good base as friends before we moved away and went on with our lives. Does it have anything to do with closure?
This other friend, this relationship, I don't understand. Or am I lying to myself? Maybe I do understand down deep.
Even though the truth is right there, why do I chose not to see it?
Maybe I should let go it because of the things I don't see. If it looks a certain way and feels a certain way - it probably is.
Sorry, but that's the truth,