Finishing Women Who Run With The Wolves by Dr. Estes. (Who I'm sure is a crone).
I debated about blogging this since it is an excerpt from a book I read a couple months ago, but I want to have it in my Blog/journal in case I want to go back and jog my memory for some reason, plus it's interesting.
My book this month is "The Secret" which I mentioned lareaday that "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill was already about The Secret years before.
So here goes:
"Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Ph.D.-
She takes about the dual nature in both men and women. (Man and woman being different).
Jungian believed there were two sides as well. The shadow side of our self.
Most people are afraid of their shadow side.
Dr. Estes thinks it’s important to put and mesh the two sides of us together to become a whole person. To look at them both. To make a conscious decision which part of us should stay and what parts of these two personalities should go. “We must let die what is to die, and what must live to live. (pg. 32)
“Our soul can be injured, even maimed, but it is nearly impossible to kill.
"You can dent the soul and bend it. You can hurt it and scare it. You can leave the marks of fear. But it does not die, it is protected.” (pg. 33)
“So I say to you with affection, imagistically – be you a Black wolf, a Northern Gray, a Southern Red, or an Artic white – YOU ARE THE QUINTESSENTIAL INSTINCTUAL CRIATURA. Although some might really prefer you behave yourself and not climb all over the furniture in joy or all over people in welcome, do it anyway. Some will draw back from you in fear and in disgust. Your lover, however, will cherish this new aspect of you – If he or she be the right lover for you." (pg. 34) What do you think about that?
"A starved soul can become so filled with pain; a woman can no longer bear it. Because women have a soul-need to express themselves in their own soulful ways, they must develop and blossom in ways that are sensible to them and without molestation from others." (pg. 56) Been there and done that.
"You need to not just pull you soul out once in awhile and try to fix it up and change it, it must be constantly looked at and worked with. Value it. Care for it. A woman must be willing to burn hot, burn with passion, burn with words, with ideas, with desire for whatever it is that she truly loves. It is actually the passion which causes the cooking, and a woman’s original ideas of substance are what is cooked. We must watch the cooking and not turn away from the pot. (pg. 101).
"As it is without, it is also within….. "(pg. 124)
To win a mate – the wildish women’s heart, a mate needs to understand her natural duality THOUGH AND THOUGH.
"Anyone close to a woman is in fact in the presence of two women: an outer being and an interior criatura, the one who lies in the topside world, one who lives in the world not so easily seeable. The outer being lives by the light of day and is easily observed. She is often pragmatic, acculturated, and very human. The cratura, however, travels to the surface from far away, often appearing and then as quickly disappearing, yet always leaving behind a feeling: something surprising, original, and knowing."
"Understanding this dual nature in women sometimes cause men, even women themselves, to close their eyes and hail Heaven for help. The paradox of women’s twin natures is that when one side is more cool in feeling tone, the other side is more hot. Often one side is more happy and elastic, while the other has a longing for “I know not what.” One may be sunny, while the other is bittersweet and wistful. These “two-women-who-are-one” are separate but conjoined elements which combine tin the psyche in thousand of ways." (125)
"She tells of a story of an old man dying and wanting to tell his children something. He gives them each a stick. He tells them to break it and after some effect all broke their sticks. This is how it is when a soul is alone and without anyone, They can be easily broken. The old man gives each of his kin another stick, and says, “This is how I would like you to live you live after I pass. Put your sticks together in bundles of twos and threes. Now, break these bundles in half.”
"No one can break the sticks when there are two or more in a bundle. The old man smiles, “We are strong when we stand with another soul. When we are with others, we cannot be broken.”
"Likewise, when both sides of the dual nature are held close together in consciousness, they have tremendous power, and cannot be broken."
"The civilized self, when alone, is fine, but lonely."
"The wildish side when alone is also fine, but wishful for relationship with the other. The loss of the women’s psychological, emotional, and spiritual powers come from separating the two natures from one another and pretending one or the other no longer exists. " (pg. 127)
K"eep all your names."
"To love a woman, the mate must love her untamed nature. Men must have dual natures as well. The more valued lover, the more valued parent, the most valued friend, the most valuable ‘wilderman” is the one who wishes to learn." (pg.136)
"Sometimes there are no words to help one’s courage. Sometimes you just have to jump. There has to be at some point in a man’s life a time when he will trust where love takes him, where he fears more being trapped in some dry cracked riverbed of a psyche than being out in lush but uncharted territory. When a life is too controlled, there becomes less and less to control." (pg. 162)
"There is probably nothing a woman wants more from a man than for him to dissolve his projections and face his own wound. When a man faces his wound, the tears come naturally, and his loyalties within and without are made clearer and stronger. He becomes his own healer; he is no longer lonely for the deeper Self. He no longer applies to the woman to be his analgesic." (pg.165)
"The ugly duckling:
Girl children who display a strong instinctive nature often experience significant suffering in early life. Form the time they are babies, they are taken captive, domesticated, told they are wrongheaded and improper. Their wildish natures show up too early. They are curious artful, and have gentle eccentricities of curious sorts, ones that, if developed, will constitute the basis for their creativity fir the rest of their lives. Considering that the creative life is the soul’s food and water, the basic development is excruciatingly critical.
If the basic self of the psyche is wounded early on, the girl begins to believe that the negative images her family and culture reflect back to her about herself are not only totally true, bit are also totally free of bias, opinion, and personal preference. The girl begins to believe that she is weak, ugly, unacceptable, and that this will continue to be true no matter how hard she tries to reveres it." (pg.184)
"The collapsing mother:
When a woman has a collapsing mother construct within her psyche and/or her culture, she is wobbly about her worth. She may feel that choices between fulfilling outer demands and the demands of the soul are life and death issues. She may feel like a tormented outsider who belongs nowhere – which is relatively normal for the exile – but what is not normal is to sit down and cry about it and do nothing. One is supposed to get to one’s feet and go off in search of what one belongs to. For the exile, that is always the next step, and for a woman with an internalized collapsing mother, it is the quintessential step. If a woman has a collapsing mother, she must refuse to become one herself." (pg. 190)
"May you have many mothers. Gain strength from them all. If you don’t know better you are simply unmothered."
" He who cannot howl will not find his pack." (pg. 275)
Body Talk: (page 215)
"A friend of mine is and African American giant and she is very tall like a Yew tree, as a child she was told that the split between her teeth was the sign of being a liar and they made fun of her height. I an uma Mexicana, and am build close to the ground and am of extravagant body. I was told I was inferior and of having no self control.
As we talked each were thinking the other was so mysteriously looking in such a beautiful way. She had journey to West Africa and found her ancestral people who looked like her. I had gone to Tehuantepec in Mexico and had found people who looked just like me.
We rocked we dance we looked at each other and saw beauty. We deserve to be beautiful.
Yes we have to be healthy and we have to love our self. "
"Her is what I have . .
So much love ." (pg 228)
And she has acceptance of herself.
Well, not sure if you find this book as fascinating as I did, but I have the points that meant something to me written, hope you enjoy and got at least one thing from here.