Well it about time to go out in my garden which I have shamelessly abandoned this past summer. This summer has been the hottest summer I can remember here in Georgia. Not only hot, but humid too. And it has been hot a long time. It's still in the 90's and that is cool!
The good thing is that we have a neighborhood pool and we go to cool down a lot.
It takes a long time to grow old friends. I've kind of had a sad thing happen recently. One of my very good friends of ten years sent me a note out of the blue and said that our friendship had changed and that we were drifting a part. I felt it was kind of a Dear Chatty letter.
I tried to call her three times and she never answered.
She wrote back and said what the problem was is that she didn't want to go out to dinner every week, that it was too much. We don't go out every week. We used to, but both our busy lives seem to have gotten in the way.
The third note asked if we were still friends.
Hello, how can that happen now?
Why didn't she wait until we went out and discuss this with me? She's been my friend for 10 years and we have gone through sooooooooo much together. I'm baffled.
Then without waiting for my reply the fourth note said not to worry about this church group we were in, that she was going to quit going!
Oh my gosh, I don't even have time to think things through and all these decisions are being made.
I discussed it with my family and friends, they think that maybe she is having problems with me changing myself and her staying still in the same place. I'm getting healthier and happier, while she is staying the same place.
I so realize and think I've even written about one person changing and the other one not and how hard it is and that sometimes change hurts. I'm still in shock. I'd try to talk face to face with someone if I could. Emails are so misunderstood.
Maybe she didn't mean everything as cold as she sounded on paper - but she sounded so cold. Like she didn't care. That's what bothered me the most. Caring is huge to me.
As the garden grows so does the gardener. I guess this is yet another growth experience for me to go though. I told you they all weren't that easy - on either side of the garden.
I'm not sure why she did this, on my side I never meant to do anything to hurt her and no matter what changes I made to myself, I'd always made time for her.
Just don't know how to handle this. I'll have to give it some thought
Love,
Chatty
1 comment:
Chatty, Our relationships are what is most important in life. They are to be cherished, nurtured and honored, but they require the effort of both parties. You are right to want to see her face to face, so that you can understand the changes she is making in her life. Save the friendship if you can, but if you can't, let it go. You can't bring yourself down to make her happy.
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