"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'm not sure some times that there is any one out there in the whole entire world that understands me or that is like me. Okay there are some, but not many.

There is just some thing I understand or get on a level most people can't see or understand. I can't even put it into words. I'm sure it comes from my past suffering. Suffering changed me. Suffering changes people.

I must tell you that some people may not think it was for the best thing for me (or for you) , but I do - now. None-the-less it's who I am now. I can't go back to the naive young girl I used to be.

Suffering gives you strength. It makes you so strong.

These days I hear so many people complain. I hear so many negative people. I hear oppositional people. People who don't follow their promises.

And the excuses. You could write a book.

Why did my suffering change me into some one who changed and won't give up - yet others who suffer continue to spiral down?

Is it personality? It is heredity? What?

They say when you go through things it makes you have more empathy for others in the same situation. Maybe it does, but IF THAT PERSON CHOOSES TO KEEP ON BEING THE SAME WAY - WITHOUT CHANGING - my sympathy is gone. I must admit I feel angry. I want to distance myself from these kind of people.

Sometimes you can't I know - but you sure the heck can take vacations from them. Physically or mentally.

I read about Audre Lorde in Daily Celebrations. She is like me. I don't know her, but I know her.

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ~ Audre Lorde

She fought breast cancer for 14 years and wrote in the Cancer Journals about her radical mastectomy and the experiences she went through. She had hope and hopelessness at the same time. Her fears were actually her inspiration.

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others." You can only help the people who want to be helped (Chatty).

For Heaven's sake - we need tp do something positive - ourself - to change our own life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe me IT IS POSSIBLE. I've have to do it many, many times. I have had a lot of negative things happen in my life, but I'LL BE DARNED if I'm going to let them win over me!

A Venting Chatty Crone.

1 comment:

Changes in the wind said...

Your first statement has often been a comment of mine..."I don't think there is anyone out there like me". It is a little scary at times because it can mean either you are unique or downright strange. I choose to believe I am unique:) It seems there is so much unhappiness everywhere that I just want to put my head under water and blow bubbles. If one country isn't threatening another than another is trying to take over another. Many of the youth of today are disheartened and they have not even begun. The middle aged are being told there is not a future....negative, negative, negative. Not one positive thought to be found.
I often like to sit and watch older people and try to imagine them as young people. Are they the same or have they mellowed. As for me........I have mellowed. More often now I help because I want to rather than I have to. I enjoy because I like it not because it is good for me. I laugh because it is funny rather than the option of crying. Maybe it just means being more real. I do not enjoy grumbling, or showing off nor am I trying to climb some ladder so my friends are few but my life is good, really good and I wished others could have what I do. The downfall? I am in those golden years and bad health/death are to follow. I only hope I will not grumble.