"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Now this is an adversity that we all have when our children leave home - a bittersweet situation. I know, I've lived through it. It was particularly hard for me when my son left home at 18 to go to school. That was 14 years ago - he's a doctor and this is his last 'unofficial' year of training out of town and he'll be a full attending next year - still out of town. I don't think he'll back home to live. I always dreamed we would all live close - it was so important to me, but that's not the case - at least for now. I went through my share of grief and then some about this. I'm better now after grieving and time. I don't mean I don't care because I do, but I had to let go. I hate to decide to look at what I did have - instead of what I didn't have.

Did anyone else have a hard time letting their kid go? I wonder.

Billy Ray Cyrus, Ready, Set, Don't Go Lyrics
Artist: Cyrus Billy Ray

Song: Ready, Set, Don't Go

Album: Home At Last
She's got to do what she's got to do
And I've got to like it or not
She's got dreams too big for this town
And she needs to give them a shot
wherever they are
Looks like she's all ready to leave
Nothing left to pack
There ain't no room for me in that car
Even if she asked me to tag along

God, I got to be strong
She's at the starting line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waiting on my blessings before she hits that open road

Well, baby, get ready, get set, don't go
She says things are fallen into place
Feels like they're fallen apart
I've painted this big old smile on my face
to hide my broken heart
If only she knew this is where I don't say what I want so bad to say

This is where I want to
but I won't get in the way of her and her dreams
And spreading her wings
She's at the starting line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waiting on my blessings before she hits that open road


Well, baby, get ready, get set, don't go
She's at the starting line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waiting on my blessings
before she hits that open road
Well, baby, get ready, get set, please, don't go
Don't go, don't go

She's got to do what she's got to do
She's got to do what she's got to do


Isn't that always the way things are? What's a blessing to one can be a sorrow to another. The thing you have to concentrate and pull out of yourself as painful as it is - that you have to love them more than you love yourself. You must deny yourself. You must let them go - and put on a brave front as they leave - then you go home to cry.
I do miss him. He's happy now and married. I wonder if he has children - if he'll understand.
I was given a blessing to kind of help (?) the pain - I have the most wonderful grandson in the world and my daughter. So I am truly, truly blessed.
Love,
Chatty

1 comment:

Changes in the wind said...

My only child (a daughter) married a man in the Navy and left home with my 2 year old grandson we were helping raise. She had never been away from home before and there are no words to describe that emotion. I guess only death could top it. It was however, for the best as if they lived close they would have continued to cling to us as their support system. They are back home now and things are not the same but perhaps better and more as it should be. The big question is how do you ask a Mom who has given up everything and would even give up her life to now...........back off! Our success stories are only due to the fact that we truly ARE amazing creatures:)