For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience. Emily Dickinson

Another world wind day for me. This whole summer vacation I have been setting my alarm to get up! I took my friend to the airport and we had a sad goodbye in the mist of laughter. I told her she couldn't take two bags and a purse on and she said she could in Virginia. So when we got there they said no, so I was stuffing them in and I broke one zipper on her suitcase thank God it had two! Then we were hugging and this rude mad told us twice to move. Now mind you we were not holding up anything except in his mind - he could walk around - an extra foot - but he had to say something. Now I used to take stuff like that and move, but I speak up now. I said no, I wasn't going to move, he could just walk around and we continued our hug with both tears and laughter. So off my friend went. My daughter and I laughed so hard - she gets stopped every time - last year it was her underwire bra, who knows what happened this time, I'll find out tonight in her email. Goodbye my good friend until next year. . . and don't let them talk you into that pit bull puppy!

Since it had been such a world wind week and I have a birthday party to go to tonight, I decided to force myself to go outside this afternoon and lie on the hammock for a few minutes. Just to breathe (and angel girl and thanks for my card today - how did you know how much I needed it - you are a blessing to me too) as the climax of a hectic ten days had come to an end (now the past). I wouldn't have traded my friends visit for the world, yet it was extremely busy. I had my regular life going on, plus another life to deal with. I was trying to keep everyone happy and I found out yet once again that is not possible!!! I think my grandson was a jealous that I spent so much time with my friend so he was tough this week. The visit stressed my daughter out for her own reasons and we fought a bit on the way home about space and boundaries. A lot of life is like that - feast of famine - either you're too busy or not busy enough. You have no time or too much time.

Anyway I went out to my backyard and rested in my hammock to breath - I had to force myself to take a minute to slow down. To calm myself from the week past and for the night and week to come. It was then I started to notice some of the 'life' that was going on around me and it made me think. I get caught up in my own thoughts at times . . . with memories of the past, my dreams of the future, and with worries about what's happening right now.

I'm going into another full week of volunteering at my grandson's scout camp every evening next week, the 23rd. my son comes home for a visit which I am HIGHLY anticipating (joyfully and with some trepidation) and praying that all goes well. I'm also worrying as he's climbing Mount Rainer right now, as I write this Blog. It has a been a life long dream of his and I am so proud, yes climbing, but more importantly that he is doing something he has dreamed of for years. How cool is that?

Some times I think (I know) I worry too much. I know that I can miss the beauty of the moment I'm in - the moment that's right in front of my nose! I miss the 'second' of the present I'm in. I get immersed in my thoughts, my worries, my expectations and at times I do fail to live in the present - the here and now.

Just today if I didn't take those few minutes to stop and look around I would've missed the singing and chirping of the birds, the flying around of the butterflies and bees, the swaying of the trees in the wind, and those awful bugs crawling around on the ground. I even saw a chipmunk putting holes into my yard.

I also had a bit of time to think back about a spectacular moment I had this week when I saw a 'click' - a defining moment - that my grandson experienced. Sensory kids have extremely hard times swimming because of their lack of ability to hold their breathe due to poor stomach muscle control - something most of us take for granted. We have spent YEARS taking him to swim lessons. We spent SUMMERS making him go under water kicking and screaming. He hated being splashed and getting his face wet. We have done White Water for four years now just to get him used to splashing - now he'll go down the rides and have fun!!!

We never thought he'd never be able to go under water until he was much older - partly because of his sensory and partly because he fought it - we knew he could do it if he tried - so that was frustrating everyone including him.

This week we went to the pool (when it was not thunderstorming - Lol) and he wanted to jump in the deep end (which was a miracle in itself). He wanted me to go first. I said NO he had to go with me at the same time. He started to argue, then all of a sudden he stopped, and you could see the CLICK moment in his life, he had made the decision to jump into the ten foot deep water - alone - and before me! HE DID IT JUST LIKE THAT! That one moment of time he chose to be brave, a winner, a confronter, and a voyager. He knew mentally and physically that he could do it. And from then on we've been in the deep water ever since . . . I would have missed that click had I not been looking at the present moment.

I was thinking about nothing else at that moment, but him. It was a respite for my mind and I was able to just view his own self growth and enjoy the moment. He made history for himself.

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.-Auguste Rodin

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. I know you can't live like this all the time. Life isn't made to work that way. But we can take mini vacations - hour vacations - a day or even a week's vacation to have a respite from the real world we live in. In those times we can get out of life's stresses and just be. That's why vacations are needed and cherished. A way to get away from all the stress and worries of life if only for a little while. Real life will be waiting for us when we return.

Work hard, but never forget to enjoy your 'presents' - whenever they come to you -however they come to you - whoever you are with - you'll never know what you might find and experience. Gee I've written a lot, got to go get ready. I just didn't want to forget this day.


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