"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Saturday Meditations - YOU'RE A WINNER TOO!

I have such a neat story to tell you.

My daughter has been in Florida for a couple of days now, and my grandson is all mine - to take care of! I'm pooped. I put him to bed at 8pm last night and fell asleep until 8 this morning. I never sleep 12 hours - never!

That's not the exciting part, just had to add that because at times I do wonder if my daughter does much around here (teehee), but my eyes have been opened and daughter, if you ever read this, I'm sorry, you do help out (Lol and love).

Anyway my grandson has been in Taekwondoe for 2 years now. He is 7 1/2. He went through the Tiger Clubs easily (no 'real' testing) and it took a year. Then he gets his white belt. Know that I paid for 20 private lessons to help him because once he got in the real class he panicked - it was like he never had a class at all - he had a year at this point. We stuck with it almost another year and he is up to his yellow belt, with one green stripe. Not very far. I started pestering my daughter 6 months ago about changing places or quitting (yes quitting because I felt it was doing more damage to his self esteem than it was teaching him self esteem).

One of my friends is a black belt in Choi Kwang Do. Similar to Taekwondoe but more modern - a little more like boxing. She mentioned this and I asked my daughter about switching, but timing is everything. God's timing. You will be able to see his hand in this as the story progresses.

Anyway he was really trying. I was dying inside for him. The place seemed like they had given up on him. This particular place was tournament driven. We didn't give a hoot about tournaments - we just want him to have self esteem and be able to protect himself.

The last couple of weeks he came out crying. He felt he was trying and just couldn't move forward. I mentioned it to the head and she sent him out on the floor to another woman to get some extra practice. That woman waved him away, finished training the one she was with for 10 minutes mind you. I went out there to ask someone else and finally they give him 1 minute - doing the whole set of moves each and every time to teach him. Well I couldn't do it either if someone didn't break up the moves for me and showed me the whole thing each and every time I asked for help!

How does that go - if you keep doing things the same way - you'll keep making the same mistakes?

Well I had taken all I could and I couldn't take anymore. Neither could my daughter. So we went to my friends place. Choikwangdo, at this this one anyway - I'm not sure if they all don't, does not compete in 'tournaments'. It is not tournament driven, it is for the person. It is person driven.

What a novel idea!

Okay all this to get to my point -

We talked about my grandson and what had happened and of course they were aghast and said he would do much better there. Now my friend came who had her black belt training there came also (drove all the way here - on Friday - from downtown - in the rain) and talked to the Master she trained under, we all talked to him, and then he took my grandson and taught him step by step some movements. He told him how to hold his hand, what knuckles to use, where to put his feet, why, etc- step by step! I felt he kind of is taking us under his wing thanks to my friend.

Well of course I thought at first they were just saying it would be different - that they just didn't know the situation.

After three lessons - my grandson - tested in front of everyone - alone - and got his first belt. He turned to us in pride with the biggest smile. I knew then things were going to be alright and get better. Master P told my friend, "You did good today." Now I get it - she brought my grandson to the right place, where he will get help and extra attention. His soul was going to heal. They are tough, make you follow the rules, but they also care. My friend helped him. It's like the ripple effect - when you throw the stone in the water - at first you see the ripples, but later on you don't see them, but they are still there. She may never see what she has done for him - but you never know how it will positively effect his life.

It wasn't Taekwondoe vs Choikwando (exactly - but I do like it better - it is more natural movements and is more like boxing) - it was tournament driven vs person driven. His first place did not think my grandson was tournament material and frankly they had given up on him.

I'm not even saying that tournaments are wrong. Some kids thrive in tournaments - just not our kid - but he was still important - worthy of their help. Wish I had listened to my inner voice earlier. But not to be too hard on myself, timing is everything and this was just the time.

Now this is the big gift I got from Master P when I took my grandson there for class yesterday.

(Okay I'm gabby, but I had to set this up and explain it. Actually I am 'chatty'.)

We got talking and I asked him why no tournaments?

And this is the really big thing that I am so excited about (this man kind of thinks like I do - scary I know - or do I think like him?) -

He said, "If their are 10 on a team for the tournament - three win - although all 10 have trained equally, three performed better that day. So 3 were winners and yet seven were losers. Why should 7 feel like losers - just because they did not perform as well this one particular day? Losing gives you a scar (to some degree). Scars never go away until you die." (I believe that too - they get better if you work on them, but you have to learn to live with them and accept them).

The idea is to make everyone a winner in their soul. We get so many scars out in this old world - why add ones that aren't necessary?

My lesson is - don't keep repeating mistakes for two years, listen to your inner voice, don't be afraid of change, don't put yourself in a position to get 'unnecessary' scars - you'll get enough of those automatically from other things - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - IT'S OKAY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

You're worth it.

Chatty (who can get so excited over somethings that seem so small - I know - but this wasn't small in my mind - I really learned a valuable lesson - I was given a gift!)

Listen to my first song - Everything we got, we got the hard way . . . (by work!)

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