Tuesday's Thoughts - wouldn't it be lovely . . .

I began writing a list over the weekend about what it means to me to be alive - to be in a live relationship with someone whether it be a friend, family member, husband , or other. Every one including myself says 'just live' - 'live life to the fullest'.

What the heck does that mean exactly? Sometimes I know what It means exactly and other times I tend to lose sight of it. Sometimes I am living and sometimes I did.

Does it mean the same to everyone? (No, I'm sure not). And if anyone has any comments on what it means to be alive - I'd love to hear from you. I love people and what and how they think.

Since everyone would define 'life' differently, I can only define what it means to me to be alive in this world - as seen through my eyes. I've also found that no matter how close you are to some one - you cannot see things out of the same two eyes. Some thing will be different - even if it's just a centimeter different.

And the really wonderful thing is that it's great to see things differently! If everyone saw things like I did - the world might be _____(I'll let you fill in the blank - Lol)! Plus everyone being the same would sure be boring. Variety is the spice of life.

So I want to define 'living' as it means to me. Real living. Being. Being alive starts within the self. It extends to the world.

Do you ever wonder what draws you to some people and while others repel you? What is it that makes you happy to be around certain people and cringe to be around others? Are you pulled toward some people and feel like you want to run away from others? I think it is the pain they carry around in them. It can be literal pain from the body itself or pain they carry around in their soul.

Pain in the body is something I do know about as well as spiritual pain. Physical pain can radiate outward from a person. Everyone around them if they are in tune can sense their pain. You have to be careful if you're a person in pain to not let it damage your soul and make it bitter. Before I had my hip replaced I was in pain for 20 years, the last five to ten were almost unbearable. I believe (and it may not be true if you ask others) even though my body was in pain, that my eyes and soul were clear - meaning that while people could see my pain, my pain never won over me personally and I did not let the pain embitter me. I couldn't do the things I wanted too - but I am a person that for some reason (God) carries eternal hope that things will get better. So while people might have done some suffering with me - I don't think they felt that I was unhappy or depressed. They did not feel guilty because I had accepted it and live my life in spite of it. Same with my soul pain. Now I was not Mrs. Perfect, I don't mean that. However, I was always working on trying to get better and trying to improve myself.

So how do I want to live?

1) Accept what the moment brings. Try not to judge it. If you fail at this, forgive yourself and try again. I make mistakes all the time and the person I tend to get the maddest at is myself! I have to forgive myself and take it easy on me at times. When you can be in just the moment in hand - it is one of those ah-ha moments that feels so good.

2) Listen to what others say about you - and see if there is any truth in it. There usually is some truth in what others say. I get a lot of 'corrective criticism' - sometimes I wonder if they even know me (Lol), but seriously, I do take to heart what they say. I bring it out and look at it, as painful as it is, analyze it, let go of some, and try to change what I can.

3) Realize there is no gain without pain. Accept pain as pain. Pain teaches us. It is there for a reason. Pain makes us stronger.

4) Things are always changing. Be a person who can change on a dime.

5) Try to rest your mind. Be with the moment at hand. A hard one for me as my mind is always on warp speed. That is why mediation is so great for me.

6) Speak the truth - and if you are going to say something 'corrective' breathe first. Be kind.

7) Be as positive as you can - negativity is a disease - that can cause your body to expel pain that others can feel and want to run away from. And if you fail and have moments of negativity that's okay. Try again. Don't be hard on yourself. Forgive yourself - forgive others - try.

8) Keep your promises if you can. Sometimes you can't and you have to accept that too. No one is perfect.

9) Use your senses - taste, touch, feel, smell, and listen - to live.

10) Have fun. Laugh. Find joy.
Now with relationships and how to feel alive -

1) Truth must come from both ways - take some time to think and breathe first. Don't be afraid of telling the truth. Even if the truth is hard - do it anyway. Truth is core.

2) Tell me your opinions even if they are different than mine. Own them. I'm a very open person. I love the opinions of others. If I do something wrong - tell me (nicely with respect).

3) There is a time for closeness and a time not to be close. When your time to be close is at hand - be close. When it is time for other things, let go and don't be demanding. Learn to stand alone when necessary and learn to lean when you need to lean.

4) Be a promise keeper. If you say you're going to do something, do it - even if it is painful to do it. Otherwise know it is okay to say no. Be a person of your word. Your word is your bond. It's core.

5) Be kind to one another. No one is perfect.

6) Let's not talk bad about others. Too negative.

7) Listening is two ways. Sharing. Taking turns.

8) Have a soft and gentle heart.

9) Do new things - learn new things - try new things. Taste - touch - smell - hear - feel.

10) Laugh a lot with each other.

Now if you think this is my actual life - think again. I'm only human too. Know that 'living' isn't for the weak - it's hard work - but what wonderful results.

Nothing feels as good as being alive and close feels.

Love,
Chatty