For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, April 27, 2009

Monday Mullings


Givers Vs. Takers

It's a thinking day for me today.

I'm thinking about love, giving, taking, working hard, and laziness. Maybe even selfishness.

Are we born that way or do we learn it over time?

Probably some of both. We are born with a certain disposition, our upbringing does influence us, our world experiences, school, friends, and lastly what how we decide we want to be. Again, life is a choice!

My friend sent me this during one of my discussions a couple weeks ago about love.

God did what he did and became human knowing the suffering but chose us any way, "He humbled himself. He went from commanding angels to sleeping in the straw. The pal that held the universe took the nail of a soldier." (Max Lucado) Why did he do that?

"Because that’s what love does. It puts the beloved before itself"!

"Love goes the distance....."

She's divorced now. So was it ever love to begin with? Or did love die somewhere in their relationship? If you don't put your beloved before yourself (at least some times) can love die short of going the distance?

One thing I'm thinking about is my daughter and her ex-fiance. Did they ever love each other? If they did was it again because they didn't put the other one first? Love didn't go any distance here.

I think so many people think that love is to hard to commit to. I believe that's one of the problems with younger people these days. They have been raised in the world of 'what feels good to me' - 'how will it affect me'' - 'what will I lose' - 'how hard will I have to work' - 'what will I have to give up'? They whine it's too hard, I ask at age 30 what (in the average case) has been so hard?

What about us older people - who were not raised in the me generation . . .

You see not going the distance in other things besides love. In work ethics. Oh me, did I say love was work? I guess I did. The word work to some is a dirty word. Work is hard. Well it doesn't have to full time work, but love does take work. If you have only 5 minutes a day for love - then work like heck for those five minutes of love.

Look at your partners eyes, give a gentle touch, turn the television off, get rid of the computer (ouch), the remote controls, worries, other thoughts, kids - whatever - and be with that other person for the five minutes.

Do you ever spend the whole day with someone and never really connect or bond. It isn't quantity, it's quality. Does it always feel good? Not necessarily. Is it always a good thing? Yes. Because without good quality time and giving of yourself, love will die - that I know.

I've just witnessed that. All the guest bags we had decorated and filled with love. The bridesmaid's special gifts wrapped with care, plans, dresses, money, new items for a new house for new beginning, the unity candles, plans, ministers, invites to retract - love burned in infamy.

All over two hot heads that over reacted too fast and then pride got in their way. Funny thing is I thought they loved each other, but the one thing they needed to do, they didn't do - run to each other and talk - work it out before it was too late. They quit when the going got tough! It was too hard. The devastation not only hit them it hit a lot of people me included! Now is it too late? Can it be resurrected? The longer they go - the less love can survive. Love needs to be tended to.

For my daughter and her ex. This is what you should have done and felt. To be honest, I'm angry at you both. You've both hurt the family.
I Run To You - Lady Antebellum -

Finally, to see if you can get this example.
A teacher was asked if this particular person was a student in his class. The teacher said said, "Well the person did attend my class, but he was never a student".

You need to decide it you are just going to attend the class or are you going to actually learn what the class has to offer.
Upset, hurt, and angry,


Olde Dame Penniwig said...

You ask many hard questions, but I think the answers to those questions are even harder to take.

I don't blame you for being angry. No one gets angry over a situation when they feel in their heart, "It was just one of those things, it just didn't work out, everyone tried, this was a strange event." They feel angry when heart and intellect tell them, "This was really unnecessary."

People are unhappy without meaningful work, both work of the heart and actual tasks. The younger generation that seeks only not to have to work is making a tremendous mistake.

ClassyChassy said...

Smart comments from Penniwig - some questions you ask may never have an answer, either. Or, the answers may come at a much later date. It is good to be angry sometimes - if you don't allow anger, it turns inward, and is classified as 'Depression'. Be angry - just don't let it eat you alive.

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Hi, just found this post. Classy is right, anger is an honest emotion, and if let out, it's expressed. That way it doesn't eat at you, and turn into bitterness, or regret, or resentment...all pretty ugly things, and a horrible way to live!