For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tuesday's Inspiration - Balancing your life

We've had a very trying week in the Crone house. My daughter, who was to be married May 23rd, well her fiance has broken it off. Cold feet, too stressed, too many pre-wedding fights, the new house stresses him out, his job stresses him out and so on . . .

Devastation has set in here. My daughter's heart is broken. The invites were out, the gifts were arriving , clothes ordered or bought, the wedding dress, the cake, the quartet, DJ, photographer, flowers, plane tickets, now people need to be told, things need to be canceled, gifts returned, money lost. . . and love thrown out the window and trampled on - for what or why I don;t know.
The saddest thing is I know she loves him and I think he loves her . . . I think he's mom told him that if he's that stressed don't get married. He asked her to love with him for a year first . . . she said no . . . so what in a year when it gets hard he'll just send her and her son away? Marriage is hard - you can;t just walk out in a year and say you tried.
Doesn't anybody commit anymore? Go the distance? Marriage is excuse my French, damn hard. I think this breakup was basically because of stress. I think both their lives are shattered probably for different reasons - over what? No one can really say. No closure. Why didn't they talk? He did it with an email.
You know, don't get me on the topic of emails, computer games, texting, etc. There is no real communication any more. Talking, touching, looking at one one another. I jokingly told my grandson that in a 100 years people would probably be born without being able to talk. Evolution is such that you lose what you do not lose (okay I'm a nut - already know that!)
In my humble opinion - more marriages break up because no one is willing to go the distance and keep up the pace. It's too hard. Grueling at time. Then when you're married a lot of years - if you haven't gone the distance together, it becomes too late. One goes ahead and the other stays behind or goes a different way.
I don't know the answer. I'm just full of emotion today.

So here is something to think about - juggling your balls (work, spirit, job, friends, health), or family - which one is the most important 'ball' in your life? Don't lose sight of what is important or you might lose it. Love can die if not nurtured.

On the other hand one can never give up hope, I told my daughter to take the time she needed to go through the grieving process, but when she's finished and done - to always have hope - never give up - and don't turn bitter. I think she ought to try to talk to him . . . but what do I know?

Ultimately, the choice is hers and so are the consequences.

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence."

– Lin Yutang

Ms. Penniwig - I do try to look at life through rose colored glasses and I'll be darn if someone or something doesn't try to smear them up! (Lol) I need to change my windshield wipers today.


Picture borrowed from a fellow blogger . . .


Changes in the wind said...

Chatty, I am so sorry about the wedding cancellation. It must be hard for all of you. Hope there is a rainbow waiting after the storm.

ClassyChassy said...

Prayers for your daughter - things have a way of working out. Not always as we planned, but they do work their way out.

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Chatty of course I have to chime with my usual contrariness. Be GLAD that this joker walked out BEFORE the wedding. He evidently does NOT have the heart of a fighter and she's better off without him, as hard as that might feel right now.

You're so RIGHT about things being WRONG now. No commitment for anything. Just excuses, explanations, emptiness where there ought to be guts, blood, sweat and tears, to paraphrase Churchill.

It's all OPTIONAL now. Don't want to work? Call in sick, or go on the dole. Don't want to be married? Divorce. Don't want to raise your kids? Drop them at daycare. Don't want a kid but want to have unprotected sex? Get an abortion.

I was GLAD it looked like we were going into a Depression. Yes, glad, hoping that it would SHAKE UP people and get some LIVING back into LIFE, some honor, some stiff-upper-lips, some TRYING.

Hang in there, CC. Here's your rose-colored glasses back. You look good in them!!!

Chatty Crone said...

Thank you so much for all the support. It took us two hours in Macy's today to return everything - then there were four other stores! Quite humbling, but we made it and I think she's stronger for it. She's kind of getting to the angry stage from the shocked one.

Chatty Crone said...


I love the line where you said he did not have the heart of a fighter. My gosh that is what I feel I've been trying to say on my Blog all this time.

Even if it is painful - don't give up! You will reach the other side even stronger!

We have all had it hard - but we had the heart of a fighter – we didn’t give up – we forged ahead.

When things got tough this guy gave up.

I understand and agree with what you are saying.

Thanks for the comment.

Rose colored glasses back on - dirt washed off.

^..^Corgidogmama said...

I don't know how she does it, Chatty, but the old Dame always gets to the nitty gritty of a situation, can explore it, and come out with exactly what needs to be said about it! guys have had it rough. I've been wondering. Today, you summarized all you've been experiencing. I agree, people don't have the grit anymore...that's what's lacking in every aspect of our lives these days...G R I T !

ClassyChassy said...

You've been tagged - to play a blog game called ONLY 8 - please stop by my blog to find out how to play!

Chatty Crone said...


'True' grit that is.

JeanMac said...

I'm really sorry for everyone involved.

Chatty Crone said...

Thank you Jean, me too, she tried to contact him again tonight and he said he had to have time alone to think. . . ?