"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Sunday, August 30, 2009

They are butterflies . . .

I have cancer on my mind today. I follow a blog called There's An Angel On My Front Porch and her young daughter Amy is fighting one hell of a fight. I tell you I don't think I could do it.

I brought dinner to a girlfriend last week, from church, who is fighting a tumor in her back - only 30 people have this diagnosis a year so not much is know about it. She told me she doesn't care what they do to her at this point, as long as the doctor writes everything down for others. I don't think I could do that either.

And lastly my dear friend has cancer on her kidney. She just found out in the last couple of weeks so I don't know where her ride is going to take her yet. But I also wonder if I could do this either?

These woman are hero's to me. One in her 30's, one in her 40's, and one in her 50's. Cancer knows no bounds or age.

And I know there are a lot more people fighting cancer, other diseases, and/or sorrows. I don't understand this faction of life at all. I want to send prayers out for Amy, Billie Jo, Sue, and anyone who needs them. May God be with you always and give you peace.



I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

This is supposed to be a poem written by a teenager with cancer. It's not true, I checked it out on Snopes.

However the message is true,I know that for a fact.


Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go -round?

Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done Do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die Cause you never had time To call and say, 'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music Before the song is over.



Changes in the wind said...

Gret post Chatty....I too have found that special freedom of being older:)

Terry said...

Howdy Chatty
I think you found one answer ,
all of these amazing women who are struggling with cancer are also people who have found the freedom to live life as themselves and to grasp every second and enjoy it as themselves. They are all amazing women who have learned to live in the moment.
They are all stong in their faith.
This was such an awesome post today.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Each time I try to post about Amy the words just don't come .
The tears and frustration fill me up and I have to stop and go pray for an attitude adjustment.
I do not know what is yet to be learned by these amazing women but I do know they have touched countless lives each day.I know I have learned a lot just simply by praying for the healing to come.
I know that I am daily reminded to just bloom where God has put me and love life with all I've got .
Blessings to you Chatty for the coming week .
May each day be filled with many wonderful special moments until your cup overflows onto all around you .
Happy Trails

Chatty Crone said...

Yes, some people's pain gives us gifts. My brothers death, gave me the opportunity to make amends and forgive my father. Wish my brother had gotten the chance with me, but I know he has it is Heaven and my dad's probably there with him too.

Others have lessons to learn through pain - sometimes when we are rock bottom - there is no way to go but up. Been there too.

So CITWind -

I too have found that special freedom - through lots of different kinds of pain, but I have had to work for it.

And Terry - You have just the right thing to say about Amy - she is one amazing woman.

^..^Corgidogmama said...

This was an extremely good post. Getting older does help you shake off the unimportant stuff. So far, that's been the only perk...well that, and cheaper coffee at McD's!!

Chatty Crone said...

CDM- That is one brighter side!

Buttercup said...

Just spent the weekend with a friend from college and this is one issue we talked about. I try to pray more and worry less. I know I worry less about truly unimportant things, especially things. Having the matching handbag or just right pair of shoes just isn't on my list anymore and that is a great feeling. Adding my prayers for your friends and as ever for Amy. I am awed by her courage and determination.

Chatty Crone said...

I know what you mean, but sometimes I still worry. I know God has a plan for all of us - but sometimes I do wonder why there is so much suffering.