"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, January 25, 2010

Los Angeles - Sisters - Twins




I wrote many months ago about not understanding God's plans for us at the time something happens and how long sometimes (if ever) God reveals his answer.

In 1974 my parents had been married 32 years. I had gotten married in May. I found out I was pregnant December 18th 1974. We were all going to get together for Christmas Eve.

I got home from work that day and as we were getting ready my husband told me that my dad had called from LA (he had been working there on business for a few months on and off) and that he had told my mom that he wanted a divorce and that he was not coming home for Christmas.

Everyone was kind of afraid to tell me, but there was no choice. So the whole pregnancy I was going though the divorce with my mom. The divorce was final in June, my mom moved to San Francisco with her brother in May (ran away I guess, but eventually came back home), I had my son August 20th and my dad was in LA getting married on the 23rd.

I tell you this background because of course it hurt - it hurt my mom, me, and well the whole family, but healing eventually over the decades happened. My dad brought his wife home (two years older than me).

I did learn to love her. They had two more children - a girl in 1977 (dad was 59) and a boy in 1980. My sister is 5 months older to the day than my daughter. To be honest through the years we have had our issues to work out, but we CHOSE to work them out and eventually we did.

Now 32 years later - she is one on my nearest and dearest friends ever. I adore her and love her dearly. We need each other more than I can explain.

LESSON: When God allows pain and sorrow - and you don't understand - you may never get an answer, you might get one right away, or you might get one 32 years later!

So fast forward to 2010 - my sister had twins 12/11 - which just happened to be the day our brother (now deceased) was born! Kind of meaningful to us.

And here are a couple of pictures of these cuties pies:





So remember, if something happens, if pain happens, give it time - time is a great healer.

"Aunt"


Happy Birthday Virginia Woolf -

"Lock up your libraries if you like," she wrote, "but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."

"Each sentence must have, at its heart, a little spark of fire, and this, whatever the risk, the novelist must pluck with his own hands from the blaze," she wrote in Second Common Reader (1925)

She had a tough life, but she was an amazing woman. Multiple bouts of depression led her to suicide. She loaded her raincoat with rocks and walked into the sea . . .

11 comments:

LADY JANE said...

Amazing Dear Sandie....I so understand what you have shared with us today! First of all I am so proud of you to share it with us as not everyonr has the guts to tell the true story of how they felt. You hurt and one can only imagine the pain and emotions you felt at the different times in your life. I love you Sandie for your bravery in not sugar coating the story behind your cover!!!!
And you so accepted what you can not change...you had the courage to make the best of it..yes...perhaps I stole that from my favorite prayer, but Sandie there is such wisdom in the words you share!
Yes...sometimes God gives us things that hint at answers...He never may give us an explanation but answers. Somehow funny as it is..God gives us answers in the form of little angels...beautiful little babies. Babies that make us stop to enjoy a coo...babies that give us a look again that life is amazing...babies that so need us that we again gain a self-worth!
Sandie...I love the pictures of you holding the little angels...YOU look so relaxed...so calm...so blessed...and they look so content...so safe...so secure in your arms!
Whew...if I don't stop myself my comment will be longer than your post...
So Sandie...My dear friend...Thank You for showing us your open window...you may have encountered a few closed doors in your life...but you my dear really know how to open the windows and let the sunshine in.
I admire you...and I know too God somehow put us together...share the sunshine with me dear friend...and we will never walk alone in the storm again!
I LOVE YOU FRIEND!!!!!!!!!

Barbara said...

Oh, Sandie, they're beautiful! Congratualtions, Auntie! Wow, that's some story, too. I can see how that must have been so hard for you. So glad you can love your sister now and not have that past between you. And look at what you get!! These little cutie pies! I love what you said about answers. That's so true. It's rarely, it seems,the answer you're expecting. But every once in a while, you get a better one. Hugs, B

^..^Corgidogmama said...

I have to say DITTO to every single thing that Jane wrote!!
Your ability to accept, to move on, couldn't have been easy, but it was the healthiest thing for you to do for yourself...and in essence, look at the gifts you gave yourself!
~~~your Daddy was a real stinker, wasn't he??

Thena said...

Awesome testimony, and two beautiful babies.
I went through a divorce myself nine years ago, so I can understand. The exes family has nothing to do with our kids. Until the last year or so my nieces and nephews have gotten in touch with me through the computer. They realize that it wasn't my fault and still consider us family.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Thanks for sharing the story and pointing out what family is all about. And those babies, oh my gosh, how cute. I bet your sister already misses having you there to help out.

I love the Agatha Christie quote on your cutline and it is certainly appropriate to your post today.

ClassyChassy said...

You have outdone yourself today - what a beautiful post. Yes, such bravery putting all of your feelings into words, to share with all of us out here. It is amazing what can happen in your life when you are willing to let God handle the fine details!

Angela said...

Hey Sandie!

Those babies are sweet! I can see that you spoiled them while you were there! It is amazing what the Lord has done for you and your family. I know it's been a long and wild ride but now it looks like the road is going to be smooth sailing!

Hugs,
Angela

betty said...

babies are sooo beautiful!! I'm glad that you and your sister have a great relationship now and it is definitely a "God thing" with the twins being born on your brother's birthday :)

betty

Tweedles -- that's me said...

your heart just plain overflows with kindness and words to share with us.
No wonder everyone loves you.
Your real!
love
tweedles

Changes in the wind said...

Can't imagine how difficult all this was for you but the joy you have today has to make it worth it.....beautiful babies and relationship.

Sue said...

My gosh....and I thought me and daughter were odd because we share the same birthday....your family and all the dates that you all share is just too weird....it all must mean something don't you think...and by the way nice to have you back....Sue