For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Ground Hog Day and spilled coffee . . .

Wow a hot topic yesterday. I am so glad to know I am not alone. I will tell you this as a tribute to my MIL. When we met - we were engaged already - and I think she had decided whoever walked in that door that Thanksgiving was going to be her DIL and she was going to like her no matter what. I felt the same about her. When my parents divorced a couple of years later - she always invited my mom to all the holidays so we wouldn't have to split up. They loved each other. So in that relationship I have been blessed.

Okay - ever hear of the 90/10 Principle of Stephen Covey?

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life(or at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle?
90/10 Principles of Stephen Covey
By debudeodhar

"10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction.
Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's take an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.

Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say," It's OK honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios.

Both started the same.

Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off. Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work ? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle."

This principle will help with our irregular people too.

Let me ask you a question - If someone reads this and their reaction is - "I'll try to remember this" - do you think they really will?

Happy Birthday to Farrah Fawcet - her gift to us is this: remember to get your colonoscopies and follow your doctors order. I think she was a beautiful gal.

SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER - according to Punxsutawney Phil.


The imPerfect Housewife said...

Wow - VERY well said!! No, I hadn't heard of that but I bet I copy it and keep it with me. Thanks for that and I hope you have a good day - wait, I hope you DECIDE to have a good day! ☺ Boy, I like that.

Linda said...

I love the 90/10 principal. It is the truth! how you react sets the tone. Loved Farrah and thought she was very brave.

Knitty said...

What a perfect follow up to yesterday's post! I was aware of this principle but not in relation to Steven Covey.

I think I do a pretty good job following this although I admit sometimes my immediate inner reaction includes a shriek or even a bit of cursing. ;-)

Yelling at others, whether in the family or at strangers (road rage comes to mind) doesn't upset only your victims, it keeps you in turmoil also. It just isn't healthy for anyone.

Angela said...

Hey Sandie!

I believe the 90/10 principal to be true! Great post!

I just read in my local news that our French Creek Feddie, a ground hog, says that we are going to have an early Spring! lol I don't think he is right!

Happy Ground Hog Day!

ClassyChassy said...

I've heard that before, and its worth remembering. Maybe I should print it out and put it on the bathroom mirror...I don't need it, but someone ELSE might! tee hee!

Anonymous said...

Hi Chatty,
Another great post! I will be remembering the 90/10 principal. It's always exciting to see what interesting and relevant topics you'll come up with next.:)
By the way, your niece and nephew
JAS :)

Susan Wicker said...

Hello Sandie...Yeah, I believe some people will remember. At least I will. I like the concept. Covey is very good.Take care and have a good night! Sincerely,

Cheri said...


Thanks for your nice comment on my blog.

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Sandie...have you been eating brain food? Your posts have just been outstanding lately girl!!!
Love the 90/10 concept. Very insightful and definitely food for thought. You make my brain work...and I thank you for that! We all need to think more!

Marjorie (Molly) Smith said...

I've never heard of that principal, but that is how I try to handle my day. What good is it going to do to cuss or get angry, it doesn't solve anything. I try to tell DH not to get so upset when someone says or does something to him, it only ruins his day to get angry, and lets the other person control him. He says I just let people walk all over, I just don't let them control me.
I can't say if someone will do what they say, but it sure is a better way to live.

That corgi :) said...

your MIL was a wise woman; I think more MILs need to be like that and that was neat she included your mom in gatherings; I bet that was appreciated by all!

I didn't know the 90/10 principal but I try to live like that already; that was interesting to read and think about too


Tweedles -- that's me said...

This is very much worth remembering - even for us pugs.
I liked Farrah too


Well my dear Sandie...This post is so true and I love that you shared the what could have happend as some folks just can not see that side of life!
Sometimes I feel like I am living by Murphys Law...and I so try to make the most of it...deep is what it is are so right!!!!!!!!
I am inspired by your post today to THINK POSITIVE.....and guess what...(deep sigh emerges to a FULL SMILE) I am going to break the rules...I am going today for a 95/5 principal! Life is good when you treat it well!

ocmist said...

Your Post today is SO FANTASTIC!!! I want to put it on my facebook page and share it with everyone I know! What GREAT words of wisdom, and I really DO hope that I can remember it. I think I will try to get it printed out and put it up with my other good things to remember on my bathroom wall where I will reread it often!