HOW TO LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED! (Thanks Crystal Lindsey)
"The only thing that gets me through is a sense of humor." ~ Martin Scorsese
THE FINAL GEICO COMMERCIAL
Now, where can I find that dang duck? (Afflack)
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house just now, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cookie dough ice cream, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.
You have no idea how good I feel right now.
Questions from Absolute Newsletter?
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair,but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Thank you Jerry for all the gold!
Now, this is for my dog friends and my friends who need to smile! (Thanks Janet)
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.. the next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'
My son, his beautiful wife, and gorgeous son.
Welcome to the world my new dear grandson. Now I have two of the best grandsons ever!
THANK YOU GOD!
"I think laughter may be a form of courage… As humans we sometimes stand tall and look into the sun and laugh, and I think we are never more brave than when we do that. ~ Linda Ellerbee