Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.

An old man wanted to plant a tomato garden but it was difficult work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son:

Dear Vincent

I am feeling sad because I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm too old already.
I know if you were here, you would happily dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love ~ Papa

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don't dig up that garden.  That's where the bodies are buried.

Love ~ Vinnie

At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.

That day, he received another letter from his son:

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you ~ Vinnie 

(Thanks Sharon)

Drinking and Driving

 

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

 

As you well know, some of us have been lucky not to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the various social sessions over the years.

 

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita . Not a good idea.

 

Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home.

 

Sure enough I passed a police road block but because it was a taxi, they waved it past.

 

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise.

 

I have never driven a taxi before and am not sure where I got it. 

 

Potato Prostitute
 
Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. 

One is a prostitute..

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?


    
It's the one with the little sticker that says...

I - DA - HO 
(Thank you Fran).

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?"  She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
(Thank you Jerry at As the CrackerHead Crumbles)

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands,  one for helping yourself,  the other for helping others.”   Audrey Hepburn