An invisible man married an invisible woman...their kids were nothing to look at
I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
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SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
I believe this with every bone in my body! And then some.











These are so funny...and I agree with so many the "grandma tide", the amount of self esteem a child needs!...:)JP
ReplyDeleteHa, I like the pants cartoon!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! The one with the father's pants especially made me crack up-
ReplyDeleteGood ones!!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay I've laughed my.. ....... . . .head off! I cracked up at the squirrel and lost it at the dog telling the cat jumps!!
ReplyDeleteMy coffee came thru my nose!!
Love from Wild wood and thanks bunches for the laughs.
(((HUGS))) from jack. I had to hurry the system it on and off.....
ReplyDeleteAll good ones. Thats how I like to start my morning with a good laugh. I love grandma surfing the ironing board....
ReplyDeleteIi am feeling like the "I don't want to be an adult," sounds good to me. Some how I don't think my kids would let me get away with that.
ReplyDeletelove all the funnies, and i wish i could forget my age, my body will not let me....
ReplyDeleteLOL Hard to pick a favourite today! Perhaps the "I know longer want to be an adult" I could use a week of fruit loops and cartoons! Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteThe one-liners made my morning. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThese are all really good today, Sandie. The dad's pants made me laugh especially hard.
ReplyDeleteThose are so funny, Sandie. :-)
ReplyDeleteI needed a good laugh today,Sandie. You gave me a bunch!
ReplyDeleteAll good thoughts there today. Some laughing going on here for sure. I do think like you do in so many ways. The last quote about children is good one for all of us to remember. I think if nothing else a loving home is the place to start reinforcing just how much our children are loved. Hope you have a fantastic Friday!
ReplyDeletereading the list of puns, i could only think of the comedian, stephen wright, delivering those lines.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! These are hysterical. I had to star this post to go back to it again. Thanks for the laughs to start the weekend!
ReplyDeleteLOVE, LOVE, LOVE ALL OF THESE!!! Too funny!! Thanks, Sandie for the laughs, grins, and groans! :)
ReplyDeleteokay funny Sandie! For some reason the MELON COLLIE sent me into hysterics. I still can't contain myself. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am still laughing. I love them all. I can really identify with the first graphic!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course the sweet saying about children is so so true. I wish more parents were aware of the fact!
Happy Friday and thanks for the smiles! ♥
oh my gosh they are all the best but the one about the pants is so funny, I'm showing this to my grandson!
ReplyDeleteThose are all so funny, I kept thinking the next was funnier than the last. However, I like the multitasker old lady!!! And the ironing board surfer!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday and thanks bunches for the smiles.
You made it a fun friday!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE this today Sandie! I agree, the last thing, I am going to type it up, it is SO TRUE!!! Love all the one liners, they remind me a bit of Stephen Wright. Hope you have a great weekend! It is snowing here and schools are out two hours early, Phil has gone to pick up Ella.
ReplyDeleteForgot to say I LOVE your Valentine header and background!
ReplyDeleteSandie I love the one of the dog eating the magnets...cracked me up! All funnies today! We grandma's will protect those babies of ours is right!
ReplyDeletelove ya,
Linda
haha! I loved this post!
ReplyDeleteLots of good stuff...don't know which I like best! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh dear, that certainly was a lot of funnies for us on this Friday. So agree with the one about the child's self esteem. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteSo cute! Thanks for the giggle. Enjoy your day dear friend. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff, Sandie! I'm getting more familiar with the multi-tasking granny speaks of than I'd like. LOL! Love the melon collie, too.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I enjoyed the funnies.
ReplyDeleteOK, I am *ROLF*ing big-time!
ReplyDeleteThis was hysterical today. You know that I'm a bit of a wordsmith, so the list of puns was awesome!
I shared it with my sons - they really liked the one about Moses.
Here's one my dad used to say: "You know what they say about a campfire in a teepee - The heat's intense."
:)
You've got me cracking up!!! There is so much fun here! I love the pants one :) I've got to show this to hubby tonight and I can laugh again. :) Fabulous, Sandie!
ReplyDeleteMarie
So much funny here! I can't imagine getting up on my ironing board and I don't think it will hold me either :(
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm quite the multi-tasker myself. And my sister would love those puns. She has a sick sense of humor, bless her.
ReplyDeleteyou always make me laugh
ReplyDeleteI also love the baby squirrel!!!
ReplyDeleteGosh that's hilarious - I am still laughing here. I love the one about Moses making his tea...absolutely brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteEva
I sure did need this laugh today. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteChatty,
ReplyDeleteOnce again, you delight us with your wit, even if the jokes are "borrowed" or re-purposed, or whatever the current vernacular is - we LOVE them.
...and you! happy weekend.
Sooooooo funny....alllll of them.I am going to glean a few for my face book page. Love your Fun Friday....I can just picture you chuckling the day away as you prepare them for your blog.
ReplyDeleteAh, Sandie, what fun you give us on Fridays! Thank you so much.♥ Love the magnetic dog one best of all. lol
ReplyDeleteHahaha! You always make the day worthwhile. Thanks for all the smiles you give us. Have a great weekend! :-)
ReplyDeleteMy header is the new fountain they have at Disneyland. It is computerized and it displays holographic images out of the water drops, like the characters from Disney and the movie scenes. No, I have not been there, I snapped in when it was on the news.
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeletethese are all great!
i can always count on you for a good laugh!
Hi Sandie...Fun Friday was a hoot as always. Fun fun fun. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSo many times I see teenage boys with their pants wayyyyyy too low. Maybe their dads ought to do that, too, like the guy in the cartoon. Funny! Susan
This post is overflowing with good stuff today. I couldn't stop laughing
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun way to end the week. Enjoy your weekend, stay warm!!
ReplyDeleteLove your new look and your new signature! YOu are so clever!
ReplyDeleteLOL the multi-tasking as we age (there's truth in that one) and the cat having to jump nine times.....so many good laughs this week, thanks Sandie for doing these!
ReplyDeletebetty
LOL the multi-tasking as we age (there's truth in that one) and the cat having to jump nine times.....so many good laughs this week, thanks Sandie for doing these!
ReplyDeletebetty
BAAAHAHAHAHAHA! You KNEW I needed that didn't you! Sending you a huge hug!! :)
ReplyDeleteLaugh.Cough.Sneeze.Pee.
ReplyDeleteIt's only funny ahen someone ELSE does that!
Thanks for the giggle!
These are FABULOUS!!! Where did you find them all? I especially like the picture of the squirrel--I'm a big fan of squirrels and collect anything squirrel related! Thanks--you just made my day!
ReplyDeleteLaugh.Cough.Sneeze.Pee.....me!
ReplyDeleteWow Sandie you just get better and better. Love all of them.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I am still laughing at the Melon Collie and I loved the magnet one, too!! LOL! And, yes, ma'am, that bucket needs to be constantly filled! blessings ~ tanna
ReplyDeleteHi Sandie .. these are great fun - well worth quoting ... definitely a few laughs here ..
ReplyDeleteI love the one about the pants - they don't like us oldies joining them do they .. I want to rush down the street pulling them - I'd be put away though!! And that would be the wurst!!
Cheers and have a good weekend .. Hilary
I laughed and laughed. I'm not sure where you find all of these funnies, but this blog buddy says thank you.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!! that's me too!...after reading all your fun pics/stories. =)
ReplyDeleteI decided long ago, while still in my youth (about 10 years old), that I didn't want to become an adult. I don't mind growing old so much. I just didn't want to grow up. But, I do have to admit...it's my immaturity that I strive to get rid of. =(
And, I do agree with filling a childs cup with self-esteem. Sometimes I tend to worry more about my grandkids...and I should also still be thinking about filling the cups of my grown kids too. =)
hugz,
annie
Oh Lordie!! I'm still laughing!! Wonderful comic of being able to cough, sneeze and pee at the same time!! DITO :-//
ReplyDeleteAnd the one of Dad watering the yard with his pants down and Mom knitting! I don't understand how they walk with their pants down so low---it looks like they have a full diaper!!
Sandie, Thanks for the smiles...I needed them today!
ReplyDeleteHa ha I love them all. I've seen a couple before, like the dog eating the magnets, but still laughed again. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI hope there is not Pop Quiz. Why I autta :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot.
where do you come up with these...ya gotta love the German joke and Moses. But, grammatude and feeding self esteem are grand. You'd think the Father's Pants should do the trick.
ReplyDeleteBlessYaGirl
I need your "smiles".
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles, Sandie -- and I so agree about self esteem. :)
ReplyDeleteVery funny, I like the grandma surfing on an iron board
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, Sandie ... I loved each n' every one of these. I'd sure like to (be able to!) tell the folks in my office I'm through being an adult -- and head for my tree house w/ my crayons. (Can anyone else identify?)
ReplyDeleteHas Disco forgiven ya'all yet? That post about Max just cracked me up. Hope the little guy is lucky to find a good home where he, too, can be an "only" dog.
Have yourself a great week!
Every one of those was funny. You have made my night.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
Pat
The dog magnet and the low riding pants cartoons were the best, Sandie. Did you read every one of your 'one-liners?' I stopped midway but may return later.
ReplyDelete..
I hope you had a fun filled weekend!
ReplyDeletexo Catherine
The one about multi-tasking... This could be me! :)
ReplyDeleteThat refrigerator magnet cartoon is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGood job Sandie!
ReplyDeleteSandie, where do you get this stuff??? I am still chuckling! LOL!
ReplyDeleteso funny. i'm totally saving some of these to pass along!
ReplyDelete