Fun Fridays with a little help from my pals.

TGIF!!!!!!!!!

I am also joining Feline Friday!  With Sandee at Comedy Plus.  Click here.

Sex after surgery

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard,

has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there,

he lost all interest in sex.   

A hospital spokesman replied ...

"Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology -

all we did was correct his eyesight."

Thank you Monica! 

Thanks Sharon

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing

as well as she used to and he thought she

might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her,

he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal

test the husband could perform to give the

Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand

about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal

conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until

you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking

dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, '

I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.'

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's

for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen,

about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg,

what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where

he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,

'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about

10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her.

'Peg, what's for dinner?'

(I just love this!!)
'Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

Thanks Kim at Millie's Mats 

If you watch this you will roll on the floor laughing to death!





Thanks Kelly

 ENGLISH LESSON

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that's easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

I beg to differ because there is:
When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE"!

And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED"!

And if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... "COMPLETELY FINISHED" !!

Thank you Ann at Snap and Edit

This is certainly great for anyone who has difficulty getting in and out of a car.

 

Wonder how long it will take to get this on the market in Japan and the U.S. ?
 

Click here: Disappearing Car Door

 Thanks Jerry Asthecracherheadcrumbles

I owe my mother. 

1.    My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 

      "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning." 

2.  My mother taught me RELIGION .  

    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 

3.  My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . 

    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 

4.  My mother taught me LOGIC . 

    "Because I said so, that's why." 

5.  My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .  

    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 

6.  My mother taught me FORESIGHT . 

    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 

7.  My mother taught me IRONY .  

    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 

8.  My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS  

      "Shut your mouth and eat your supper. 

9.  My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM . 

    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA  .. 

      "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 

11. My mother taught me about  WEATHER . 

      "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . 

     "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . 

     "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . 

      "Stop acting like your father!" 

15. My mother taught me about ENVY . 

      "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 

      "Just wait until we get home." 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . 

    "You are going to get it when you get home!" 

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . 

      "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 

19. My mother taught me ESP . 

      "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 

20.  My mother taught me HUMOR .  

      "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . 

      "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .  

      "You're just like your father." 

23. My mother taught me about my  ROOTS . 

    "Shut that door behind you.  Do you think you were born in a barn?" 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .  

      "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 

And my favorite: 

25.  My mother taught me about JUSTICE . 

    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"  

Thank you Terry at Backwardranch

Thanks Jenn at Three Graces




THE LAUGH:

THE LIFT: