My beautiful daughter Kelly, on the right turned 48 on the 15th.
Her son, Andy will turn 25 in April and her DIL Shaye just turned 25.
Baby is 5 months old now.
Ever Hear of Gentle Parenting?
The generation before me used Dr. Spock, I was more into Dr. James Dobson.
I'm sure there are many other parenting styles.
I have no idea what the kids will use. It is their decision of course. However, since Mackenzie is perfect, I doubt they will have to discipline her - lol. Just kidding.
A lot of the parents today use Gentle Parenting as their parenting style. Ever heard of it?
"It emphasizes empathy, understanding, and respect to encourage children to be self-award of their actions. It is an evidence-based approach that focuses on setting boundaries while fostering a nurturing environment. This method encourages parents to lead with empathy and allow children to experience natural consequences rather than relying on traditional discipline."
"Gentle parenting is a means of parenting without shame, blame, or punishment—that's the basic and most accurate definition. It is centered on partnership as both parents and children have a say in this collaborative style. Gentle parenting is as it sounds; it is a softer, gentler approach to parenting, and parents and caregivers that practice gentle parenting do so by guiding their children with consistent, compassionate boundaries—not a firm hand."
"Gentle parenting, also known as collaborative parenting, is a style of parenting where parents do not compel children to behave by means of punishment or control, but rather use connection, communication, and other democratic methods to make decisions together as a family."
"This parenting style is composed of four main elements: empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries."
My daughter teaches pre-k special needs, and these kids have been raised with gentle parenting.
An example - she was getting a new child registered. The child threw a truck at her. The parents did nothing. Kelly told him he was not to do that - the parents just looked at her. He did it again. Parents again did nothing. She told him if he did it again, she would take it away. He did it again - she took it away - the parents didn't know what to do.
Another example was a child was absent from class and when she called the mother, the mother said he 'didn't feel' like he wanted to go to school so she is letting him stay home a couple of days.
I do wonder how these kids will turn out as teens and future parents?
What do you think about Gentle Parenting? You can look it up. It's true.
What style discipline did you use?
17 comments:
Happy Birthday to her!!!
And...I'm not a real "fan" of 100% Gentle Parenting. We love our babies Completely.... but also believe that choices and responsibility go hand in hand and you need to teach a child the meaning and consequence of both.
Regardless, I'm sure they will be wonderful parents.
hugs
Donna
if children were to be let free in this world without parents to teach them right and wrong, there would be no need for parents. Being gentle is a good thing but they need to know there is good/bad and right/wrong and making wrong choices come with consqequences. I can't believe the photo of your daughter and her son, it seems he was just a toddler a few years ago. how did this happen so quickly
Happy Birthday to Kelly! You have a beautiful family.
Gentle parenting doesn't sound like a good plan in the long term. They also need to learn consequences. We also followed the Dobson method.
When a child runs out into the street, or reaches for a hot stove or something else that is dangerous, all that "gentle parenting" flies out the window. The child must be taught right from wrong and also what is a danger. We don't want them to experience the "consequences" of their behavior when their lives are at risk. There's no time to say, "Now, Now Johnny, don't run out into that street, there's a truck coming and it might hit you!" or "No, No, Sweetie, if you get any closer to that hot stove it will burn your sweet little hand and you will have to have lots of surgery to fix it, if it can be fixed." I know these are extremes, but they are extremes that toddlers and young children are faced with more often than we would like to think. Children who do not understand the boundaries are more apt to run into harms' way when the parents aren't looking or there to protect them. Gentle parenting is nice when teaching them right from wrong, but when the child is headstrong and determined to exercise is own free will, as they usually do sooner or later, firm discipline is often the only way to "help them understand the consequences". We raised three very active little boys, and we tried being gentle and consistent always, but they STILL found ways to get into "trouble" one way or the other and needed a firm hand to help them understand that was wrong. They are fine, caring adults today.
Happy Birthday, Kelly!!!
Gentle parenting is for the birds, not for children. Kids need limits and it's up to parents to set them early on and maintain them as their child grows. Having taught school, too, I would have reacted just as Kelly did with that little "monster." Blessings, Sandie!
Happy Birthday to Kelly. My mom had lots of Dr Spock books. Gentle parenting was not for me. Kids need to learn manners and responsibility. No wonder this next generation does not want to work 40 hours. Just my opinion. Janice
I was a stay at home mom with ALL my children, and I was very young. It was never really rushed, as I was right there to take care of them, and I didn't rely on books or classes. I used common sense, and prayed a lot. I read stories to them, I helped them with their homework, we sang, we laughed, I disciplined them when they needed it, and I did not spoil them. And most of all, I gave them a whole lot of love. They turned out to be bright, caring, and responsible adults, one with a Ph.D., one with a Masters, and one with a BA. I hope this type of parenting works for this generation. Being gentle is always good with words and actions, but sometimes you have to be firm as well, as all children have different personalities. Happy Birthday to Kelly. This is a wonderful picture of them.
Happy Birthday Kelly. Best wishes now and always.
God bless you.
This sounds good to me. We always tried to use natural consequences.
Gentle Parenting really has no boundaries. I see this all the time in stores and restaurants. the kids ruling the roost being loud and getting into trouble with no consequences.
I'm sure your precious little Mckenzie will be just fine though.
Sue
Happy Birthday blessings to your pretty Kelly. I love this photo ... what did you use to make it 'look' this way; like a painting, I mean.
I'd never heard of Gentle Parenting before, but these examples make my skin crawl. God help our future generation!
Happy Birthday to ALL....you have a beautiful family!! Parenting? I know what my parents used (not sure it had a name) but I do know that it was a combination of respect as well as Spanking. We rarely got a spanking, but when my sister, brothers and I saw the paddle or the belt....we knew we had done something big and I can assure you we did not do it again. We were very well taken care of and we always had respect for not only our parents, but for every adult around. My how things change don't they? I know your kiddos will be great parents and they will figure it all out.
Happy Birthday to your daughter. My daughter teaches and these kids and parents are a nightmare. I do not believe you need to strike a child but there needs to be rules and consequences. My granddaughter is smart and kind and lovely and was never spanked. My daughter is the same. But we believed in consequences. You need to make them accountable such as throw a truck you lose the truck. Etc.
Cathy
Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 Beautiful photo and lovely illustrations.
Happy birthday to your daughter.
Children need to be taught respect, know right from wrong, and need to understand the word no. I've seen this sort of parenting style here, where tantrums get a hug and rudeness is not discouraged. As they get older the children have no respect for anyone, including their parents. I actually think that the way most children are raised today is really very disturbing.
I think gentle parenting is setting the kids up for failures. I don't agree with harsh punishments, though we got spanked and knew better than to talk back. We all turned out okay. If we got into trouble at school, we also were in trouble at home. Teachers were to be respected, as were our parents and grandparents. We also got grounded when we got older. Disappointing my parents was unthinkable. There were rules to follow and curfews to respect. Just like when you go out into the working world. No surprises! I hope Andy and his wife think twice about 'gentle parenting'.
My sons were pretty good boys but my middle one did act out in the teen years and I had to do some tough love on him. It took a while - he strayed off and deep down he knew better. He got with a bad bunch of kids. I was always tender and loving but wasn't afraid to discipline when I had to. Now though, he thanks me for being tough on him. It was a hard time back then with him, acting out.
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