For 2017

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, January 20, 2012

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends . . .

GOOD MORNING FRIENDS - TGIF - TIME TO DANCE AND LAUGH!

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Senior Love.

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window,muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yelled to me,'You need a piece of tail.
I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite'



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(sorry about the word - if I knew how to change it I would - but I thought this was an excellent lesson to learn!) Some times you have to be quiet and just blend in.

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Senior wedding

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

"Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult diapers?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."


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ENJOY! This is just plain funny.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, ROVER, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,

I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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THOUGHT OF THE DAY:



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49 comments:

Shelly said...

Truly, a merry heart does good like a medicine. Thank you for making my heart merry today!

Cheri said...

Thanks for the laughs Sandie. I love the Costco story and the Senior marriage story the best.

Walking on Sunshine... said...

These are hysterical! I especially enjoyed the flying the kite and the bridal registry! Enjoy your weekend! Thanks for finding me on Facebook!

Marti said...

Thank you for putting a smile on my face. Love the Costco story. Have a good weekend.

Jeanie said...

Lots of laughs with you today, Sandie.
The Costco story is priceless.

Kim said...

LOL The wedding registry story cracked me up!!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Now that's a funny bridal registry!

I wish there really was a mute button for snoring...

My Journey With Candida said...

Hahaha.... LMBO Thanks Sandie!

Remington said...

Thanks for the smiles, my friend! Have a fun weekend!

TexWisGirl said...

loved the remote!

Maple Lane said...

It feels great to laugh this morning!!! Thanks!

Lynn said...

Thanks for the Friday chuckles!

Melissa Ann Goodwin said...

Ahh - so glad I found you! I shall look forward to Fridays for so many reasons now. These were great!

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

SweetMarie said...

The remote and the bridal registry are my favorites! Thanks for the laughs! Laughter is the best medicine. Have a wonderful weekend Sandie!

Thisisme. said...

Really good funnies for us today, Sandie. Loved the one about the man flying the kite!The womens' remote was pretty good too!

Catherine said...

Dear Sandie, Thank you for the smiles. Blessings, Catherine xo

Melanie said...

I liked those last two stories, Sandie. A good laugh was just what I needed today. :)

Belle said...

Great jokes, and I want one of those remotes!

Jane said...

Chatty,your blog post's always brings either a smile or a laugh ! I loved the fox not so discreetly hidden amongst the hounds, very funny! Blessings Jane

Eva Ason said...

Dear Sandie, thank you for the laughs today. Finished work a while ago and is just chillaxing now [weekend at last] I so much agree on the laughing part - it's good to laugh and often! :) Have a lovely evening! Big hugs x

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

I always look forward to your Friday funnies, Sandie. These sure made me chuckle. I agree with Audrey Hepburn wholeheartedly. Laughter is the best medicine! Thanks and have a great weekend!

Susan said...

Honestly, Sandie, I am sitting here at my computer cracking up. Those were hilarious....the guy with the kite, the guy with the dog food, ha ha hahahahhaha

You are a screaming riot. Hope you are having a fabulous Friday! Love, Susan

Garden of Egan said...

Those were hilarious!!!!!
I loved the Bridal Registry!

OK, I gotta go wipe off my laptop screen.

Just Stuff From a Boomer said...

Love your Friday funnies and am so glad you have funny friends to keep you supplied.

I adore your twirling lady. She's precious.

Sush said...

Truly funny ones today Sandie! Thanks and enjoy your weekend.
Hugs~

Ginny said...

Sandie, this is one of your best posts ever!! I love the woman's remote and those two stories are so funny!!!!! I needed a laugh today, too!!! Hope you have a great weekend, it is to start sleeting and a wintry mix here tonight!!

✿ⒹⒺⒺ✿@ A Lapin Life said...

Hi Sandie,

I love it all! Your jokes are the best.
My favorite is the Woman's Remote! :-) I need one of those. lol

xo,
Dee

Sandra said...

senior wedding is a real hoot and i want the remote

CalamityJr said...

Oh, you are extra funny today! Thanks for the smiles!

Karen Lange said...

Oh Sandie, you never fail to make me chuckle! Thanks, I needed a smile today. :)

Happy weekend,
Karen

Catherine said...

Happy weekend to you Sandie!
xo Catherine

Lady Jane said...

I am still laughing at the kite joke. I think my hubby could have said that, lol... LJ

Linda O'Connell said...

Laugh out loud funny, Sandie.

Debbie said...

My husband is home, and I am going to read THIS one aloud to him. I don't do that very often, but there are some posts that just need sharing.

And I love the Audrey Hepburn quote. Think about it: She was one of the loveliest actresses of our time. I wonder if love of laughter had anything to do with that?

Ann said...

I wonder where I can pick up one of those remotes....lol

Tweedles -- that's me said...

these were too funny! we loved the bridal registry one!
love
tweedles

Angela said...

I need the mute button for snoring! lol

Great Friday Funnies Sandie!

Stacy said...

I agree with Audrey. Laughter is the best!

Sweet Tea said...

Bridal Registry?! Loved it!!
LOL!!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I liked the wedding registry one. It reminded me of my Dad and his lady friend at assisted living. They wanted to get married and that's what it would have been like.

I don't have a mute button for snoring but I have a nice loud fan that I turn on. It muffles out the sound.

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Love the remote and the kite -- I'm just old enough to totally understand! :)

Sarah (Nikki) said...

my favorite is the fox hunt. BTW..easy to crop using the paint program in your accessories. Thanks Chatty for making me smile.

Munir said...

You must love yourself too. You are always making people laugh. When I am down all I have to do is read your blog entries:)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Those are way too funny. Love the bridal registry one!

silverthoughts2 said...

I loved the dog food joke. I heard it before but it never fails to make me LOL!

Sharon said...

Oh my gosh, Sandie. This was one of your best efforts. I laughed so hard. I really loved the bridal registry story - what a hoot. And the Purina diet - priceless! Some people will believe anything!

Also loved the photo of the fox in the middle of all the "Marty's"!!

xo (still chuckling...)

Daughter of His Grace said...

Oh my gosh, I've got a stitch in my side from laughing!!!

Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life said...

Loved the fox hunt one... and if there was one thing to say that I love, it's what Audrey Hepburn says about laughing.

I love to laugh.... and I love that old clip from Mary Poppins when they're laughing and having tea on the ceiling.