For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Family Albums - What's the skeleton in your closet? Confession time....

Gee, I have so many skeletons in my closet from my childhood, if people knew it, they wouldn't believe it.

I have come such a long way and I feel like such a survivor. My past was to outwit, outthink, and outplay my parents - it was the only way to survive my childhood.

My dad was a cruel and mean man and my mom nacassistic. I hate to speak bad of the dead. However, it was the truth.

No, it didn't end that way. At the end my parents had basically turned around and I got over my past and things were better. In fact, I miss them now that they are gone. I see things so differently now.

I understand too, that really, they did the best they could with what they had been given. Most people, unless of course ones with serious mental issues, aren't born mean, they 'learn mean'. Many things happened over the years to change them. I guess it was God - in his own timing - not mine - that changed things around for us.

Now, was I this smart when I raised my kids? Hell no. I made mistakes, still make mistakes. I've gone to get help many, many, many times over the years. I did not want to hurt my kids like I had been hurt - no self-esteem. I was shamed and constantly criticized. I hated myself. I never did anything right. Was I better than my parents, yes I was. Although to be honest, I still criticize too much including myself. But I am on the right track.

Hopefully, my kids will be better than me and then my grandson even better.

Evolution of sorts.

Love ya,
Grandma Chatty

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sandie, "Back to the Future"!! are an AMAZING LADY,I love you and admire your strength.
It is a blessing to be able to "overcome", and you have a heart of gold!...GOD has put you in my path,and I will pray for your continued HEALING!
love and hugs