For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Random Blog, but an important one -
"Sex may be free, but children come with a cost we must accept..." from The Atlanta Journal and Constitution

"Thirty-eight percent of all American children are now born out of wedlock . . . it cost us tax payers . . . "

I'm a baby boomer. I know kids have kids without being married, believe me. It's actually a very common thing these days just like the paper said. No one looks down upon the girls. It's almost assumed now they will keep their child and will get help raising it - either from the government or the father or her family.

I can remember back in my time - it was one of the biggest tragedies a girl could bring on her family. Not the boy, the girl. Many girls were sent away from home to hide so their family would not be the disgraced, they had their child, and then left them to be adopted.

Some too afraid to tell their parents went to an illegal abortionist. If they were lucky, they lived through it.

Who knows what else they they had to go threw.

I don't have any recall of it being okay to have a baby and keep it back then, at best maybe the girl could stay home and then give their baby up. No one kept their child. It was unheard of.

My sister-in-law got pregnant in her early 20's. Her dad was a minister. When she told her parents, they told her to go away, have the child, leave it for adoption, and then and only then could she come home. She could not bring shame to them (a minister mind you).

She left home and had her baby alright, but she didn't come home - at first. She raised him for two years on her own with no help from the man who loved her enough to help her get pregnant. After two years of working her heart and soul out she knew she couldn't take care of him anymore. After two years she had to give him up. Her heart was broken , but what could she do? Can you imagine? It's hard enough when you don't know them but for a few days, but two years . Can you imagine?

She then called her parents to pick her up, they did, and they never mentioned to her ever again. To this day she has no idea where he is. Oh yeah, by the way, she drinks now - more than she should. I think to numb the pain from decades ago - the loss - the inability to have closure. You think that the past is the past, and it is, but we never ever totally forget it - especially if it's been mishandled. Wish I could help her. She hasn't told her grown children - they have no idea there is a sibling out there. I've often wondered if it would help her more by telling her kids or not. Maybe finding her son would help her . . . My brother loved her with all those issues - he was a great guy.

Anyway, my point being here, is some times change is good even though it costs us.

No, I don't think girls should have babies without being married to a great guy. Not because it's bad, I just think kids need two parents - two happy, well-adjusted, and mature parents. It isn't easy to raise a child. My husband HATES when I use this quote from Hillary Clinton, "It's takes a village to raise a child," but it sure the heck does. And he should know that because it has taken a village to raise my grandchild. Parents, grandparents, doctors, specialists, family, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, Sunday school, church, and the list goes on.
And he has so many wonderful grandma's (my friends).

It takes only one single person to say no and that child is lost. Children are our future. Can you put a cost on that? It's priceless. They are our most important resource.


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