"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Midlife Friends - We Learned The Hard Way . . .

I was giving some though to midlife and how different it is from the early years. Sometime my past seems, but a dream. Was it really me back then? Did all those things really happen? Who was that girl? Can't say I'd really go back to those years, unless, I could go back as smart as I am now and just have extra years, but that's silly. I'm good with now.

I was thinking about friendships. Friendships in the early year's vs. friendships in middle years. How much more my friends mean to me now (although I will say friends have always been an important part of my life). The kids are grown living their own lives (?), their own friends . . .

I just know so much more now. I know what type people make me feel good and vice-versa. I know nothing lasts forever. That you have to take care of your friends now.

I was thinking about my particular set of friends. Where they've come from and how long I've known them. I still have three friends from my high school years. I have one friend from college. A couple of friends from Chicago. A friend I worked who has since moved away.

Of course I have good friends here in Georgia. I even have a Jewish, male, stay at home dad friend I met at my grandson's preschool - he's a hoot! The only problem is he is addicted to the phone. Do you know anyone like that? He is on the phone I'll bet 8 hours a day. So I know when he calls it will be a long one - like yesterday as a matter of fact. 1 1/2 hours! I don't understand how he does it all the time! But when we talk, we talk. I devout that time to him and I end up always getting something back in return. Funny thing is he will tell me exactly like it is - no holds bared - both good and bad - so you always know where you stand.

A funny side note - My grandson tells me that a girl and a boy can't be 'friends'. They have to be in love each other. He's only 7. Now who told him that? I said well I friends with R. and I don't 'love' him like that and he acted like I shot him (teehee). He said well of course you don't love him. Not sure what all that meant exactly and was afraid to ask (Lol).

I moved and my friends have moved, but the friends I've kept - we're still great friends. Why is that? How is that? When we get together or talk, it's weird, we pick up exactly where we left off. Like there was no time between visits. Of course we do write and keep in touch. Thank goodness for the computer.

I guess the friends who I've kept and have (and who've kept me), I've kept because they are fabulous people! I trust them and believe in them. But how do we keep our friends and why? I think one reason we've kept our friendship alive is because we've all done the work to keep in touch and we've evolved together. We've evolved with life too. Friendship is an effort. There are lots of acquaintances in our lives - but you have to work at being friends - and while it can be work, hopefully it's enjoyable work. I think you have to have common ground and beliefs. There must be trust and understanding. I think to you have to be able to let loose and have fun and laugh with them and at times cry.

"Enthusiasm is everything. It must be taut and vibrating like a guitar string." ~ Pelé With friends you can be enthusiastic.

One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life.-Edward B. Butler

Thank goodness for my special friends.

I don't think you know what's going to happen when you're in your 20's. I think you take them for granted a bit. I've seen a lot of friends come and go. I've also lost a couple of good (or were they good) friends along the ways due to misunderstandings (if you can believe that Lol). I lost a dear friend in death when she was only 46.

When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.-Sufi Epigram

I think when you get older you know the value of friends. Money can't buy them because they are priceless. You know their value. You know things are fleeting. You treat them with more respect than you did in your 20's. Guess you don't take them for granted.

True friendship touches the soul.

Aristotle defines friendship as 'a single soul dwelling in two bodies," while someone else I've heard, calls it a sacrament in which there is a pure 'transfusion of grace."

Friendships can be less judgemental than many kin relationships!

Friendships say - we're glad you're here.

Keep your friends, treat them good, love them, they are like gold.

Chatty, thanking God for her friends today . . .


Corgidogmama~ said...

Oh my...you and I are soul sisters! I adore your blog! You think, just like I do, and have the coolest point of view! I'm putting your icon on my desktop so I can check in daily!

Chatty Crone said...

I've been following your Blog as well. You think like I do! Oh no - there's two of us out there - I suspect there are a few more of us out there - don't you? But they are hard to find. (Lol) Well thank you for the nice comment. You're Blog is awesome too. We'll have to have a Blogger Convention some time. Chatty